To Be A Master
by RunsWithScizors
Summary: Red was normal, once. He was just supposed to be collecting Gym badges and keeping his sister from terrorizing all of Pallet Town. Somehow, this turned into defeating an evil team with the worst musical numbers in villain history. No one has an explanation, but he's always been good at improvising. (FireRed)
1. A Boy Named Red

**SERIOUS NOTE: After people have wasted our time, patience, and commenting space, Farla has been blocked. As has everyone who commented about Farla. The so-called "reviews" are left up as an example of how NOT to behave if you want to keep your reviewing privileges. Criticism is fine, but fighting in the comments is not ok.**

 **MAIN AUTHOR'S NOTE:** **When dealing with a world where any conflict can be resolved by making magical animals fight, there is plenty of comedy to go around. Two video game-addicted siblings decided to rise to the challenge, with the plan to only write six stories and some postgame adventures. We updated weekly for six long fanfics, taking breaks only between the end of one story and the beginning of the next. We had fun, and got a recommendation on TV Tropes.**

 **Then the recommendation became a whole page, and we started to miss our old characters when writing the new ones. We decided to write more than the planned six. It's obvious that neither of us has ever had a date.**

 **So, now we get to write the official 'start' of the Pokedex Adventures series. Enjoy. (And we have not played Let's Go Pikachu/Eevee. We don't even own a Switch. Don't ask us to write for those games)**

Once upon a time, in a region known as Unova, teenage twins and their childhood friends stopped the Hero of Ideals from completing his father's evil plan.

Years before that, the Pokedex tradition was just entering its third year in Pallet Town. This led to the rise of a trainer called Red.

Red liked to consider himself a normal eleven-year-old boy. He had a mother to take care of him, a father to work to keep them fed, a former friend who treated everything like a competition, a ten-year-old sister who might have been a witch…

So maybe not _everything_ in his life was normal, but it was close enough for him.

The day Red was chosen for his Pokedex journey was planned to just be a regular Saturday. A knock at his door as his mother made sure he didn't sleep until noon, followed by another knock a few minutes later, accompanied by his sister's whining. Then, realizing that he wasn't going to get back to sleep any time soon, he shuffled to the door.

"What do you want, Leaf?"

Leaf immediately turned on the puppy eyes. "I want to know if you have that little plastic Meowth from years ago."

Red looked back at his bed, where the Meowth in question was sitting on his headboard with a Spider-Man action figure and a pile of comic books. "Yes."

"Can I have it?"

"Why?"

Leaf gestured across the hall to her own bedroom. "I want to do a money spell, and I figured the best way to get it done was to enchant an image of a Pokémon relating to money."

That was exactly what he'd expected to hear. The one abnormal thing in Red's life was his sister's magic. Her spells rarely turned out like they were supposed to, but there were moments when it seemed that Leaf could direct outcomes with her thoughts, making things happen just because she decided they would.

Red's mother said that it wasn't magic at all. According to her, the girl noticed details and put them together subconsciously, predicting immediate events instead of causing them. Which, to a ten-year-old and her barely-older brother, was much less impressive than magic.

Which is why, instead of telling their mother that she was trying to steal his toy, Red just asked, "What do you want the money for?"

"It's something both of us can enjoy," she promised, being very careful not to give him a real answer.

Unfortunately, Leaf was not the only perceptive child in the house. "Mom said you can't have a trampoline."

Leaf smiled. "But did she say _we_ couldn't have a trampoline?"

"Yes, actually."

"Did she say _you_ couldn't have a trampoline?"

"She did. She's got all her bases covered. She even said _she_ couldn't have a trampoline."

Leaf backed down. "I'm gonna get that trampoline someday," she said, quietly enough that Red could barely hear her.

Red didn't comment on that. "So you don't need the Meowth?"

Leaf's shoulders slumped. "Guess not."

"Cool." He scooted past her, taking a moment to turn back and gloat. "Do a luck spell for me, ok? Professor Oak said he wanted to see me."

Leaf didn't respond. She was too busy focusing on her crushed dreams.

* * *

Red arrived at Professor Oak's lab to see the professor was gone. He wasn't surprised, since he knew field research was a thing, but he was slightly annoyed by the mere sight of the man's grandson.

Blue. The one person that Red hated more than anyone else. The bane of his existence. His best friend.

The relationship was complicated.

"Who invited you?" Blue asked when Red pulled up a seat next to him as they waited for the professor.

"The professor did." He gave Blue a disgusted look. "You don't come visit the lab unless you're scared of something. What's got you running?"

"My sister's babysitting." Blue shuddered, as if that was an answer.

"And she's watching a teething infant and you don't want to be near the screams?"

"Worse than that, dude. Picture it: toddler, female, Kabutops costume she never takes off."

"So…a little girl that's into fossils?" Red wasn't impressed. "Sounds pretty normal to me."

 _"Not_ normal," Blue hissed, grabbing Red by the shoulders and shaking him, the horror in his eyes all too clear. "She stalks you down the hallway like a horror movie villain. Daisy gave her a Clefairy doll, she just throws it in the air and chants 'Moon.' She's not even three yet, and she's talking to us like she just crawled her way out of Rugrats." He stopped before he could freak himself out more. "She's gonna be a Ghost-type specialist one of these days, I'm calling it now."

The thought of Blue being creeped out by a toddler was hilarious, but Red had moments where he was even more impatient than his frienemy. He waited only a few more minutes before getting back to his feet. "I'm gonna go find your grandpa. Coming?"

"No." Blue stared ahead at the wall. "The kid isn't allowed in the lab even with Daisy. I'm safe here. You can go ahead and get slaughtered, though, I'm not stopping you."

"I told you not to watch that movie."

Blue grunted in response, acknowledging that Red had been right in the only way he was comfortable with. Red grinned, accepting it for what it was, and left the lab whistling.

Still, he slowed to a stop as he passed the Oak family's house, trying to squint through the window to see if he could see the kid that scared Blue so much. There wasn't any movement in the kitchen, but they could have been playing in another room. Besides, he hadn't been around a two-year-old since Leaf, and wasn't sure how a human's verbal development actually worked. Maybe Rugrats-speak was normal.

Making a mental note to visit Daisy after this, just to see for himself, he started walking again, not paying any attention to his surroundings until he heard a loud voice from somewhere behind him.

"NOT ONE MORE STEP!"

Red jolted back into full control of his body, and realized that he'd been about to step out into the tall grass that wild Pokémon liked to hide in. He turned around to find Professor Oak himself, running as fast as he could to catch up, and panting a little when he finally stopped.

"I'm sorry, Red," Oak started, "but it's a terrible idea to go out into the tall grass without a Pokémon for protection, or at least a Pokeball to catch one. Unless your mother gave you one since I last spoke to you."

"Nope." Red looked back at the grass. It rustled slightly, as if there had been a Pokémon ready to pounce at the first sign of a human. "I just went to look for you, and you weren't in your lab, so I decided to go and see if I could find you somewhere in town." _That, and I heard your granddaughter was babysitting a demon child and I wanted to see this for myself._

Fortunately for Red, he kept his mouth shut for that part. Professor Oak didn't seem to be worried.

"Follow me to my lab," he instructed. "I was supposed to be there anyway."

* * *

Blue, of course, tried to pretend he had been waiting for the professor the entire time, and denied it when Red brought up his fear. Oak didn't seem to be fooled, but he was willing to tolerate it for the sake of the meeting.

"You almost had the right idea out there, Red," Professor Oak said, and Red looked confused for a moment. "The package I was expecting to arrive yesterday was slightly delayed, so I planned on going to get it." He grumbled something to himself. "But, since I forgot to call and reschedule this meeting, I suppose I'll have to do only half of it." He gestured to a table, where there were three Pokeballs. "I have selected the two of you to be Pokedex carriers. Over there, you will find a Charmander, a Bulbasaur, and a Squirtle. One of them will help you on your quest. One will help the other."

"What about the third?" Red asked.

"I suppose I'll find a way to keep it occupied."

Blue looked at the table as if he would have liked to take all three Pokémon for himself, but he managed to restrain himself. "I think I'll let Red choose first," he decided. Seeing the looks he was given by both Red and the professor, he quickly became defensive. "What? We're friends, right?"

Red made a 'kind of, not really' hand gesture. Professor Oak cleared his throat. Blue glared at both of them.

"You guys are the worst."

Red accepted the statement, and approached the table. He looked carefully at the stickers marking each ball – a leaf, a flame, a water drop – and finally picked up the Grass-type.

"You're choosing Bulbasaur?" The professor sounded surprised.

"Just because I go by Red doesn't mean I need red Pokémon," Red pointed out.

Blue considered that. "He's right," he said, surprisingly easily. "We don't need to have our Pokémon choices dictated by our names. So, in that case…Gramps! Give me the Charmander!"

"That's not fair!" Red complained. "You picked the Charmander just so you could have a type advantage! That's why you let me choose first!"

"I was going to pick Squirtle," Blue pointed out, "but, yeah, you picking Bulbasaur changed my mind. Also, Charmander turns into a dragon. I want that dragon." He picked up the ball marked with the flame and released the Charmander inside. "Want to test out our new Pokémon?"

"They aren't toys, Blue," the professor tried to say, but Red was already reaching for Bulbasaur.

"Go, Ralph!"

Both Blue and Professor Oak stopped in their tracks. "You already named it Ralph?" Blue asked, temporarily forgetting about the battle.

Even the Bulbasaur looked slightly surprised by the sudden fact that he had a nickname now. **"That's me, right?"**

"How do you know it's even a boy?" Blue continued.

Red gave his new Pokémon a questioning look. "You are a boy, right?" Ralph nodded. "Then I don't see the point in continuing this conversation when we're supposed to be battling. Ralph, Tackle!"

* * *

Despite the type advantage, Ralph won the battle. It might have been because Charmander didn't know any Fire attacks yet, but Red wasn't going to complain. He'd jump at any opportunity to take down Blue's ego.

Unfortunately, said ego remained intact. Blue just waved off the loss like it was nothing, and turned to the door.

"Guess I need to get stronger," he said, shoving his hands into his pockets. "I'm gonna go home and face the demon child to get Daisy to heal Charmander for me. Smell you guys later."

And he left. Professor Oak watched him leave, and shook his head.

"That boy," he said to himself, before returning to Red. "So! I assume you want to show your mother and sister your new Pokémon?"

"That sounds like a terrible idea," Red answered immediately.

"Then perhaps you can run an errand for me." Oak's expression didn't change. "As I said, an important parcel got stuck at the Pokemart up in Viridian City. If you don't want to go home, you can go and pick it up for me."

"Why can't you do it?"

"Because shut up." And it was now obvious where Blue got it.

Still, Red knew that Leaf was currently still trying to talk their mother into letting them have a trampoline, and he did not want to be there for the inevitable lecture. "How far away is Viridian City?"

"Not far at all. Only an hour or so by walking, and that only if you take breaks to battle."

An hour didn't sound that bad. "If Blue's training his Charmander, I can train my Bulbasaur," he decided. "How hard can it be?"

And that is how Red's journey to fame began.


	2. Obtained the TOWN MAP!

**Let it be known that the only source of knowledge we have for the behavior of small children is the fact that the editor volunteered at a preschool once. It was years ago and the kids were mostly older than this one, but Rugrats and dull memories were all we had to go on. And Twitter.**

 **Don't ask why we decided that Red and Blue were nicknames.**

An hour later, Ralph had gotten stronger, wild Pokémon had stopped popping out of the grass, and Red wanted a nap. He had barely made it to Viridian City, and he had just now realized that he had another hour of walking to do on the way back. He was not having fun.

The nurse at the Pokémon Center had been very nice, understanding that he was too tired to talk when he just handed her his single Pokeball and plopped down on the bench. He was too out of shape to be a Pokedex carrier. He should have just turned down the offer and asked to be chosen next year. Then he could just spend the time it would take to be on said journey, however long that was, and practice walking long distances. He'd start with just waking down to the ice cream shop across Pallet Town, then move on to daily walks to Viridian…walk to school instead of getting a ride…

"Your little friend here is doing just fine."

Red looked up at the nurse, momentarily disoriented. Then, with a light tap on the face from an annoyed Ralph's vine, he remembered where he was and what he was doing.

"Thanks for that."

"Just doing my job." She smiled. "We hope to see you again!"

Deciding that the phrase was a little bit creepy, Red took Ralph and left without another word.

Now that he'd had time to catch his breath, Red realized just how big Viridian City was. Luckily, he knew that the building he was searching for had blue roof tiles. And it seemed that Professor Oak had called to tell them that he'd sent a kid in a red hat, because the man behind the counter noticed as soon as he entered.

"Were you the one sent from Pallet Town?"

"I am," Red confirmed. "You got the stuff?"

The man handed Red a box, ignoring how much this eleven-year-old child sounded like he was involved with drugs. "Make sure the professor gets this soon," he said. "You don't want the Pokedex carriers to not have a Pokedex."

So that was what the parcel was for. "Got it," Red promised. He looked past the clerk to check the inventory. "Do you have Pokeballs in stock?"

"Not until tomorrow."

Then I have no more business here." He stopped himself from saying 'Smell ya later' only because stealing Blue's catchphrase was useless if Blue wasn't there to know he was doing it. Then he cursed himself for thinking about Blue at all.

After all, he could make new friends on this adventure. Whatever was going on with his current friend could wait.

* * *

The way back to Pallet Town was easier, since Red had been given the idea to jump over ledges instead of going the long way. So, thanks to this trick and only one battle, it took 40 minutes to return to Oak's lab with the box.

"I got it, Professor!" he called as he swung the door open, hoping Oak hadn't left again.

"Ah! Thank you, Red. It would have taken much longer if you hadn't gone out for it."

Red opened the bag to hand over the box, but Ralph decided to make his appearance unprompted. Giving the professor a big Bulbasaur smile, he launched into the incredibly short story of his time with Red so far. Though he didn't understand a word, Oak smiled back at the Pokémon.

"So you're saying I was right in picking Red for a trainer," he summarized. Ralph nodded enthusiastically. "Excellent. Let's hope that Charmander feels the same about Blue."

"What's this about my Charmander?" Blue's voice asked, as the boy in question practically kicked down the door. He was followed, oddly enough, by a frustrated Leaf.

"Mom thought you died," she said casually when Red looked confused. "You've been gone for hours. She didn't think the professor would keep you that long."

"So she sent you here?"

"Only when Blue showed up at our house to tell me to put some itching powder in your underwear drawer," she continued, ignoring the death glare Blue aimed at the back of her head. "He said it was revenge for something. I saw his Charmander, put it together that you beat him in a Pokémon battle, and Mom wondered why you hadn't shown off your new partner."

Red was immediately distracted by the reason behind the meeting. "You didn't do it, did you?"

"I'm _not_ going near boy underwear," Leaf insisted. "Especially yours. Don't worry."

"Do you want a Pokémon, too, Leaf?" Oak suggested, hoping to end the underpants conversation here. He gestured to the desk, where Squirtle's ball still sat. "I was going to train that Squirtle myself, but I'm afraid I'm far too old to go through the necessary challenges again. This way, you and your brother can be companions, or rivals, on his Pokedex journey."

"Pokedex?" the three kids repeated together in awe.

Oak nodded. "I'm sure you all know of the Pokedex, a device that keeps records of Pokémon its user captures. You should also know that professors across the world use this to choose a few lucky kids every year to go on an adventure. Red and Blue, I have decided that the two of you are to be Kanto's adventurers this year."

"What about me?" Leaf protested.

"Unfortunately, I was only capable of putting two together. But you are free to take the Squirtle and do something else with your life...preferably not putting curses on your neighbors. I'm concerned about how many you've put on my family already."

"It was only three," Leaf pouted, but accepted his answer. She picked up the Squirtle's ball, stared at it, and nodded briefly. "I'll name him Sheldon," she announced.

"That's too uncreative," Blue protested.

Red gave him a pointed look. "Says the boy who didn't name his Charmander at all."

Blue matched the expression perfectly. "Says the boy who named his Bulbasaur the first thing that came to mind. _"_

"Says the boy who's scared of a toddler."

"Says the boy who's never met the kid."

"Don't make me reconsider my decisions," Oak warned, and the two instantly shut up. Satisfied, the professor held out the Pokedexes to the boys. Then Red turned his Pokedex on Blue, and surprising everybody, it registered him like a Pokémon.

 _"Fellow Pokedex user recognized,"_ the device stated. _"Blue Oak. Nicknamed after his childhood favorite color. Grandson of Professor Samuel Oak. Younger brother of former Pokedex carrier Daisy Oak. Professional jerk."_

Leaf covered her mouth to muffle her laughter. Blue retaliated by pulling his Pokedex out and scanning Red with it.

 _"Fellow Pokedex user recognized. Red Masters. Nicknamed after an incident involving red paint. Highly likely to be a great trainer. Highly **un** likely to ever have a date."_

Leaf's laughter had stopped, but her smile remained. "I didn't know Red and Blue were nicknames," she said, and Red shrugged.

"You were three when we got tired of our real-boy names," he explained. "You were preoccupied. Besides, Leaf's a nickname, too."

The smile fell. "Seriously? Why wasn't _I_ told?"

Now it was very clear that Professor Oak was regretting his decision. He had his assistant give each of them only five Pokeballs and kicked them out of his lab.

Blue waved that off, too. "I'm heading back home to pick up that Town Map from Daisy," he announced. "Don't worry, Red, I'll tell her _not_ to give you one. Smell ya later!"

"Be careful of the Kabutops," Red shot at his back. Then he looked back at his own sister. "Well? What do you want to do?"

With a serious expression, Leaf raised Sheldon's ball over her head, holding it tightly so it didn't slip. "I swear by the forces of magic itself, I will accompany my brother on his Pokedex journey! I will fight by his side, become his personal cheerleader, and bail him out of jail if I need to."

"But who gets to bail you out?"

Leaf ignored the interruption. "And at the end of it all, he shall repay me for my help by telling me my real name!"

* * *

"Your real name?" Red's mother looked surprised at the fact that her daughter had missed this basic fact about herself for a whole decade. "It's Lisa. I thought you knew."

"How could I know? You've all called me Leaf since I was born!"

Her mother sighed. "Red was fourteen months old when you were born. He misheard what we told him, called you Leaf, and it stuck." Red cringed slightly in embarrassment. "I really did think you knew."

"And why didn't you tell me that he and Blue used nicknames?"

"I thought _he_ did."

"It doesn't matter anymore," Red stepped in. "You know none of us use our real names now, so just make up your mind. Are you coming on my journey or not?"

"I'm going." Leaf didn't seem to be concerned with anything. "It can be the opportunity for the money spell to work!"

"You're not getting a trampoline," her mother said quickly.

Leaf frowned. "Party pooper."

Red ignored both statements. "Then get Sheldon ready. We're leaving tomorrow. But today, we go over to Blue's house." He grinned. "I want to get a look at that creepy kid."

"What creepy kid?" his mother asked, but her children were already running to the door to meet the Rugrat for themselves. Leaf called back that she should ask the professor instead, and that was the last of it.

It didn't end for Red, however. "What's creepy about this kid?" Leaf asked when the door closed. "I thought I was the town's freak."

"You still are," Red promised. "You're older and smarter than she is. How bad could it be?"

* * *

Daisy Oak was still watching the fossil girl when her brother's friends came over, and she looked half-panicked herself. The child in question followed her with silent, deliberate steps, the Clefairy doll in her hand covered in her drool, and lurked in the hallway like preparing a horror-movie jump scare. She had clearly been playing predator when Red knocked, and stared at them with big eyes, half-afraid of these new characters in her reenactment of Jurassic Park.

Daisy didn't look down. "It's ok. They're my friends. Do you want to tell them your name?"

The small creature looked at Daisy when she answered. "Diana," she said, each syllable almost a word, just like her mother had taught her. She held out the doll. "And Kabutops food."

Leaf nodded in understanding. "Nice. Don't eat my Squirtle, though, ok?"

Diana smiled widely, having decided that she liked the girl. "Let me see the Squirtle!" she demanded, waving her hands so the doll flapped around. "Blue said no!"

"Yeah, he's pretty mean," Red commented as Leaf allowed the kid to look at Sheldon. As Leaf joined Diana in her game by playing an Aerodactyl, and sent Sheldon running to hide behind Red, Daisy looked impressed.

"That has to be the first case I've seen of a child her age playing so well with others."

A pair of raptor screeches followed the statement.

"You don't understand how horrifying both of them are." Red meant every word, and was slightly offended when Daisy laughed. "Look, we didn't come here to meet Diana. We wanted to know if you had a spare Town Map."

"I don't think I can just hand that over," Daisy answered, sounding more mischievous than sorry. "I made a promise to my brother. But someone didn't make that promise."

She looked down at Diana, who was preparing to ambush her new friend with that big smile still in place, unaware that she was a likely candidate for things like loopholes. "Diana? Can you come here please?"

The smile faded. "No."

Now that was a statement that TV toddlers knew well. Red wouldn't have believed it if she'd said anything else.

Daisy tried again. "Diana, please. You can do this!"

"No."

Daisy rolled her eyes theatrically. "I'll read you another story."

Diana paused, considering. Leaf took the chance. "And if you do what she says, we can go back to play time!"

That seemed to be what she wanted. Abandoning her new prey, the girl in the dinosaur suit approached her babysitter and waited for orders.

Daisy knelt down and gave her a small item. "Give that to the boy in the red hat," she instructed. "If you do this, you'll be the best Kabutops in the whole world."

Diana looked at the item, and for a moment they all thought it would be in pieces in a matter of seconds. Instead, she carried it all the way to Red and dropped it in front of him.

He got down to her height to pick it up, and took the opportunity to pet her on the head. "Aren't you a good little Diana-saur," he teased, and he suddenly felt a tiny hand connecting with his face and anger burning in the eyes of a miniature person.

"No," Diana hissed again. Daisy immediately pulled her away and scolded her for hitting, but Diana did nothing more than pout and leak silent tears as she was sent to the 'Time Out Box.' No kicking, no screaming, no tantrum. Just a little girl sulking in a box.

"And say you're sorry," Daisy added.

That one got another raptor screech. A single scream and it was done, though the little sobs were more frequent now.

This kid wasn't scary. She was just smart. Smart enough to know that that was a bad joke. Smart enough to already realize that actions had consequences, not yet old enough to decide what consequences would be appropriate to the situation...or when she should stay out of it.

"I know Blue told you she's possessed," Daisy whispered as the siblings turned to leave. "My guess was that she's just a fast learner."

"What about choosing sulking over screaming?" Leaf was still impressed with that bit. "You put her in a box and all she does is sniffle?"

"Diana's seen enough time outs to know screaming goes nowhere." Daisy looked amused. "You shouldn't be afraid of her."

"That makes more sense than possession," Red admitted. "I guess."

"I'd still tell her parents to take her to an exorcist," Leaf added. "Just to be safe."

Diana stuck out her tongue and blew. She didn't know what an exorcist was, but the boy had said stupid words before. The girl might do it, too.

Red and Leaf left the house right as Diana's mother pulled into the driveway. "You didn't forget Sheldon, did you?" Red asked suddenly.

"Yes, Red, I'm _that_ bad of a trainer." Leaf spoke with the usual level of sarcasm that her brother saved for Blue. "He's right behind us, and if he wasn't, Daisy would take him to Mom for me. You still have Ralph?"

"She didn't get to pet him."

"Good point." Leaf looked to make sure she did, in fact, still have Sheldon, and started back home.


	3. Forest What?

**This chapter was supposed to be one big joke, and in the process we might have taken another joke too far. At least it's not ship-babies this time, right?**

The siblings waited until that night to leave, partly so they could show their Pokémon to their father and partly to allow Red's legs to heal before returning to Viridian. But as soon as they'd done everything that they'd wanted to do, they were on the road to Viridian City once again. They knew it was a stupid idea, but they'd decided already that the best way to get used to sleeping outside was to camp out in the incredibly safe area between Pallet Town and Viridian City, and their parents agreed.

Once they were on the road, the conversation immediately turned to changing their plans.

"Does it bother you that Blue is probably way ahead of us?" Leaf asked. "He left as soon as he got everything he needed."

Red shrugged. "He's forgetting one of the most important lessons of preschool: slow and steady wins the race."

"You do know that the moral of that story is more 'falling asleep on the race track loses the race,' right?"

"Then we'll just have to never sleep!"

Five minutes later found the siblings sleeping on the grass, halfway to Viridian. A Rattata or two stopped to look at them, not sure why humans would fall asleep under the stars without even using sleeping bags, but they quickly decided that, since they clearly weren't going to be captured by these particular humans, they didn't care.

The next morning, it wasn't the sun or nature that woke our heroes. It was an annoying voice, and for Red, the almost-painful sensation of getting poked in the arm with a stick.

"Hey, are you dead?" Blue questioned just before Red opened his eyes. "I was waiting for you guys to show up all night! I wanted to gloat about capturing three Pokémon already! But you never showed up, so all my gloating was for nothing!"

"Were you worried about us?" Red taunted, and Blue immediately became defensive.

"So what if I was? You're my rival, and it's no fun beating a dead guy!" He dropped the stick and pointed in the direction of Viridian City. "I'll be waiting for you guys on Route 22! Smell ya later!"

And he was off, leaving them behind again. Leaf glared at her brother, as though it was his fault that his rival was so impatient, before she flopped back onto the grass.

Red refused to allow it. "Get up, Leaf. You're not allowed to fall behind. You're too young to survive on your own."

"I'm old enough!" the sleepy girl protested, but Red grabbed her by the wrists and pulled her back up.

"You've got to think about someone other than yourself. You don't want to turn into Blue, do you?" Leaf shook her head. "Good. Let's go get some breakfast and see if we can pass through Viridian without going to Route 22."

* * *

They later decided that Viridian City, and the road to it, was a colossal waste of time.

On the one hand, Red had captured a Rattata, defending his choice by saying that he was going to complete the Kanto Pokedex someday. By this logic, a Raticate had to be useful sooner or later, and he was hoping that it would be 'sooner.'

On the other hand, the Gym was closed, and at the end of town, there was a pretty creepy old man who insisted that he teach them how to catch a Pokémon.

"We already know how," Red tried to say, and even released his Rattata. "See? I caught him myself. There's no need to teach us anything."

"But Rattata is an easy-to-catch Pokémon!" the old man announced, not noticing Leaf's facepalm.

"How much harder can catching anything else be?"

"Don't," Leaf tried to warn, but it was too late. The old man laughed.

"I'll take that as a challenge, young man!" he declared, and Red joined his sister in facepalming this time. "Now, why don't the two of you and your lucky capture watch a master show you how it's done?"

A Weedle chose to enter the scene then, probably from Viridian Forest, and the old man took his chance. Personally, Red didn't think a Weedle was any harder to catch than a Rattata, but it wasn't as if this man was going to listen to anything the kids had to say about the situation. But they supposed that he really was a master at catching Pokémon, if he hadn't even bothered to send out a different Pokémon to battle the Weedle first, like Red had instinctively sent out Ralph first. Then again, when they looked back on this event years later, they were confused about how a master of catching had no other Pokémon on him.

"It goes much easier if you send out a Pokémon to battle first," the old man said.

"Really?" Red tried very hard to keep his sarcasm to a minimum. From the look on the old man's face, he was failing. "I honestly didn't know that."

"I'd keep those comments to yourself," the old man told him, much less cheerful now. "You never know what you might be angering out there."

"Hey!" a woman called, getting the old man's attention. "Are you scaring Pokedex carriers again?"

"No," the old man insisted. "I'm helping them!"

"I can testify that it's more sad than scary," Red added.

The woman shook her head. "He does this every year," she sighed. "He either drinks too much coffee and thinks that the Pokedex carriers can't survive without him to teach them how to catch Pokémon, or he gets drunk and starts spouting stories about monsters and ghosts and...what was it you said lived in Viridian Forest?"

The old man hung his head in shame. "A Beedrill the size of a mountain."

"That's it!"

The siblings, on the other hand, were surprised for reasons they didn't fully understand.

"That's...not what I expected to hear him say when she mentioned the forest," Red said, not sure what to make of the situation. Leaf nodded along, her own confusion clear on her face.

The woman looked thoughtful. "It's not what anyone expects, for some reason." But then she shrugged, looking back to the old man. "Now, let the kids pass. They haven't done anything to you!"

When the pair finally got the chance to leave, they immediately swore not to return until they had the move Fly and the badge to use it.

* * *

On the other side of Viridian City was Viridian Forest, and that was much less of a waste of time. Here, there were trainers ready to battle, and dropped items for the siblings to collect.

And, most importantly, a Weedle for Leaf to call her own.

"You know," Red said as he watched his sister cuddle her spiky worm, "most girls can't stand Bug-types. I've heard legends that some of them panic so much that they hallucinate."

"Those girls are lame," Leaf insisted. "I _like_ bugs. Not to Bug Catcher levels," she added, looking at one of those trainers in mild distaste, "but they're nothing to be afraid of. Especially not this cute little guy!"

"You just want to use Weedle's poison to make evil potions, don't you?"

"Of course not," Leaf gasped, sounding offended, which Red understood to mean that he'd nailed it. Weedle looked worried about what he'd gotten into, and immediately swore to help his new trainer only in her non-evil actions.

Red decided that a diversion would be the best option. "Why don't you go and find more stuff?" he suggested. "I'll go and battle more trainers."

"What if I want to battle?"

"Fine. We'll take turns."

Leaf decided that was fair, and started searching through the grass for any sign of a dropped item. At that moment, the Bug Catcher that she'd pointed out before noticed Red, and challenged him to a battle.

* * *

By the time they'd fought their way through the forest, they were both in desperate need of a Pokémon Center, and growing more concerned about something by the second.

"What is it about forests that brings out this weird feeling?" Leaf asked as they took a break.

"No idea." Red didn't even try to pretend it was a witchy thing, as he usually did when he wanted to make her happy. "It feels like we're forgetting something. Was one of us going to catch another Pokémon?"

"No. More than six Pokémon at once sounds like too much of a challenge." She looked pointedly at his bag, where he kept his Pokedex. "Unless you're going for a specific goal."

"I think only six will work for my first time through Kanto. Did we forget a Pokémon we already caught?" Leaf shook her head, and Red thought hard. "So what are we missing?"

"It's..." Leaf stared into the trees, as if they were going to give her the answers themselves. "I don't know. It's something that seems important, but not important, you know?"

"I do know," Red agreed. "And that scares me."

Just as they were starting to think that it was just a weird feeling, a completely different Bug Catcher ran past them, screaming.

"Run for your lives! The forest gods are angry!"

The feeling faded immediately. "That's it?" Leaf asked, too bewildered to be angry.

"We were missing someone talking about the forest gods?" Red continued for her. His anger was more clear, to the point where it looked like he would actually punch a forest god if necessary. "A joke that should be dead by now?"

They continued to watch as the Bug Catcher ran around the forest, screaming about forest gods, until a small army of Caterpie used String Shot on him, leaving his nose exposed so he could breathe but covering his mouth. Another Bug Catcher looked over, then turned back to his Kakuna.

"We'll free him in a few hours," the second Bug Catcher decided. "First of all, let's make you a Beedrill!" The Kakuna hopped along behind the trainer as they went off in search of easy opponents.

"Good call, kid," Red called after him.

"So are we going to free him?" Leaf asked, looking down at the bundle of boy lying face-down in the dirt.

"With Blue already so far ahead of us? Not a chance! Let's leave this whole forest god thing behind us once and for all."

"Ok..." But she was a little more concerned about the forest god thing than she was about leaving a frustrated young boy behind in the forest. Still, she followed her big brother to the next route, leaving all that behind her.

She was a wicked witch, after all. And her duty was to look out for Red and hex anyone who tried to get in his way, as well as collect a trampoline fund.

Red, on the other hand, just wanted to keep Leaf out of trouble. And that goal is what would lead to his biggest successes.


	4. Boulder Battle

**I put an actual conversation I had with the editor in this chapter. If you've seen Brock's spontaneous shirtless scene in the Sun and Moon anime, you'll understand.**

When they emerged from Viridian Forest, they could see the outline of Pewter City. This was, of course, a big step in the right direction - Pewter City held the first Gym, and they needed the badge to continue to the next location, as well as get Red into the Pokémon League. But before they could go and beat the Gym Leader, they needed to make plans.

"So the guidebook says that Brock uses Rock-types," Red said as Leaf, Sheldon, and Weedle played in the grass on Route 2, looking for more battles. "Which means that I can rely on Ralph alone, or I could borrow Sheldon and hope he does what I want him to."

"Tough choice," Leaf stated, as Sheldon gave him the most deceptively innocent expression a Squirtle could manage. She ignored this. "Or you could waste all your Pokeballs catching things here."

"Later. I want to make a second trip around Kanto to complete the Pokedex, but my first one will be getting all the badges."

"So you want to borrow Sheldon."

"As a last resort," Red promised.

Leaf looked over at her first Pokémon, as if trying to decide what to do. "And that means I'll have Rattata."

"Just for an hour or two." When she still looked thoughtful, he handed her the map. "There's a fossil exhibit at the museum here. Maybe you can try talking to the dead or something."

Leaf smiled a little. "That would be cool," she said, and Sheldon, momentarily, looked concerned. "All right, I'll do it. But if you try to leave Pewter City without going to the museum, I'm telling Mom."

"Have I ever broken a promise before?" Leaf gave him a 'You do not want to go there' look. "I meant when I care."

She let him have that one. "No."

"Then let's go and trade. I have no idea how long that museum is open."

* * *

Pewter Gym was very clearly designed for Rock-types. Even if it wasn't decorated with boulders, the entire building was gray and brown, leaving very little room for interpretation.

"This should be easy," Red announced, only to cover his mouth and sneak around both warm-up trainers. He wanted to get to the museum and watch Leaf fail at necromancy, and the practice battles were only there for people who weren't sure that their chosen Pokémon were strong enough to face the Gym Leader first.

So, Brock saw them tiptoe around his building, and he struggled not to laugh as he imagined them going through the Psychic-type Gym in Saffron. Sabrina surrounded herself with other psychics, and all of them would notice the two children sneaking around. Or even Cerulean, where they would need to swim to even attempt to avoid the trainers.

But he managed to keep a straight face, and he noticed how the girl stood back and looked expectantly at the boy. So she wasn't a challenger, just an observer. Still, she stood behind him as he took the challenger's stand, not moving to the side at all.

"I hope you're aware that my Gym specializes in Rock-type Pokémon," Brock told them, and Red nodded.

"I have the guidebook," he promised. "And your name and decorations made it even more obvious."

"Good. I was worried I wasn't being obvious enough." And without further warning, he...yanked off his shirt and threw it into a corner. "Let's do this!"

The kids stared for a moment, both of them more than a little concerned. "How dramatic," Leaf said flatly.

"And entirely unnecessary," Red added.

"I liked him better with his shirt on."

"We all did."

Brock didn't pay attention to their conversation. Instead, he prepared a ball for throwing. "I hope you've come prepared, challenger, because a Gym battle is nothing like you've ever faced before!"

And he sent out a Geodude. Red didn't waste any time.

"Ralph, let's go!"

Clearly surprised that a challenger had come prepared, Brock took a moment to choose his first move. "Defense Curl!" It was probably better than Tackle, anyway.

"Vine Whip!" Red ordered, and Geodude was sent flying across the battlefield.

Still, it managed to roll itself into the proper position, before lifting itself up on its arms and hand-walking back to the proper position. **"Close,"** it told Ralph, **"but not close enough."**

 **"I guess I'll just have to try harder,"** Ralph agreed.

"Tackle!" Brock commanded, and Geodude made a motion that Red could only call 'jumping' before slamming into Ralph.

This small victory was ruined when the Bulbasaur barely waited for his trainer's order before repeating his attack. This time, Geodude fainted.

Brock didn't plan on only using one Pokémon, of course. As soon as Geodude was returned to the ball, he sent out an Onix.

This time, Ralph looked afraid.

* * *

It didn't take long before Red was holding his shiny new Boulder Badge, twirling it around instead of putting it in his case like he was supposed to. "This isn't what I expected at all," he said after a moment of silence. "I heard that Gym battles were supposed to be hard."

"Maybe it was because both of us chose starters super-effective against Rock-types," Leaf suggested. "I mean, it's not like you brought a Pikachu in here and tried to wet the Onix down with a sprinkler."

"That is a stupid idea," Red agreed. He stopped to consider. "Hey, Brock? Can we have a rematch sometime? I want to try that now."

"You want to try beating my Onix with a Pikachu and a sprinkler?" Brock did not have expressive eyes, but the pair could tell he was staring at Red like the boy had lost his mind. "Why?"

"Some kid did it on TV."

"No," Brock said, as soon as Red finished the sentence. "The League already put a don't-try-this-at-home disclaimer on that episode."

"Really?" Leaf was interested now. Brock clearly had no idea what he'd done, and Red wasn't going to tell him. "Why? What have Gym Leaders done that made the disclaimers a thing?"

"It's not us," Brock insisted, though there was something in his voice that implied otherwise. "Not all of it. It's the challengers."

"So do you have any stories about nightmare challengers?"

"None I'm willing to share." Brock did seem to know when to back out, however. "But there was a kid who came in yesterday with a Charmander."

"Poor guy," Red laughed. "How did he do?"

"He won. With a _Charmander._ "

Of course. At this rate, Blue would be in the Hall of Fame before Red even got his second badge. "So I guess you've seen more than enough this week?"

"You can say that." Brock stopped to watch Red carefully. Sabrina had told the other Gym Leaders that there would be two legendary trainers traveling Kanto this year. These could be the ones she was speaking of. "You'll keep an eye out for trouble, right?"

"I'm a Pokedex carrier," Red pointed out. "How much trouble can I get into?"


	5. Uncomfortable Spontaneous Musical Number

**The forest gods weren't the only once-a-story joke giving us trouble this time. This stupid parody of "Cruella de Vil" gave us both writer's block for three months. The editor thinks it's because we tried to turn a "The Villain Sucks Song" into a plain villain song. We only finished it because we decided that a Team Rocket villain song didn't have to be good.**

 **So, here you go. Enjoy this villain song we threw together at the last minute. (EDITOR'S NOTE: "And I didn't bother to touch in the rewrite...I'm ashamed of myself, but I've published worse.")**

As promised, the next stop on the list was the Pewter City Museum. The list of interesting things at that museum was small, but what they did have was skeletons. Skeletons of ancient Pokémon that had run around Kanto millions of years earlier, preserved through nothing more than the mercy of time.

Naturally, Leaf nearly knocked over three different people as she rushed toward the exhibit.

"Speak to me, ancient spirits," she whispered, focusing on the bones that the nearby sign labeled 'Kabutops.' Red, remembering Diana and the pain of her slap, stood just behind her, preparing to use her as a human shield if he had to. "Tell me your secrets, and rise to become my zombie army."

A girl with pointy blue pigtails looked over, confused. "What are you talking about?"

"She thinks she can raise the dead," Red explained. "Just let her have fun."

The girl looked at Leaf briefly, before returning her attention back to Red. "Is she OK? Does she need any help?"

Leaf's eye twitched in irritation, before she broke her concentration entirely and turned to the girl. "Do you know why these things went extinct?" she asked.

"A big meteor hitting the planet so that most species were forced to Darwin-evolve or die?"

"No." Leaf looked the girl right in the eye. "Because they picked fights with bigger, type-advantaged Pokémon. Kind of like what you're doing now."

The girl looked terrified, and ran away, calling for her father. Leaf smiled innocently at her big brother, and Red just facepalmed. "You know you're not that much bigger than her, right?"

"Yeah, but I'll hit my teen growth spurt first. She was, what, eight? Nine?"

"This isn't cool, Leaf. Mom told me to keep you out of trouble."

"No she didn't!"

"It was implied! You carry trouble around with you in a doggy bag after a four-course meal of disaster."

Leaf was stunned into silence. "What was that supposed to mean?"

"I don't know. I lost track of the metaphor." He turned her around and began to push her out of the museum. "It's time to go, anyway. I have a second badge to win and an obnoxious rival to beat."

"But my skeleton army -"

"Sorry. You have to be a Level 10 necromancer to unlock that particular spell."

* * *

The map said that there was a path to Mt. Moon, but it said nothing about how many trainers would be blocking the way. There was barely any way for two kids and four Pokémon to get through it without returning to a Pokémon Center at least once. Even when Leaf caught a Jigglypuff to help them out, and especially when Weedle evolved and became a useless lump of cocoon.

"That could have gone better," Leaf said as Kakuna ignored her order for Poison Sting in favor of Harden. "He should still know Poison Sting. I'm his first trainer. Why did he have to go and do THAT?"

"Trying to figure out how his new body works?" Red suggested. When Leaf still looked upset, he shrugged. "Hey, you'll have a Beedrill before you know it. Probably before we even make it to Cerulean."

"But can I really help you take down all of these trainers with just Sheldon and a Jigglypuff?"

"One way to find out." He nodded at her battle opponent, a Bug Catcher who was looking at his own Caterpie like he was hoping it wouldn't forget Tackle when it became a Metapod. "Swap method."

Leaf wasn't pleased at giving up on one of her Pokémon, even temporarily, but she followed her brother's orders and sent Kakuna to battle. When Kakuna was safely off the field, and Sheldon was staring down the Caterpie, Caterpie instantly used String Shot. "Sheldon, Water Gun!"

Caterpie fell down, and Leaf was declared the winner. Still, she stood back and let Red handle the rest of the trainers, watching Ralph evolve into Ivysaur and Rattata win a battle against three Pokémon in a row, without any help.

 **"How did you do that?"** Ralph asked, impressed.

Rattata looked just as confused as Ralph felt. **"No idea. I don't even know Hyper Fang yet."**

Red pulled a Potion out of his bag, getting down to give his favorite rodent the healing he really needed. "We really lucked out back there, didn't we?" Rattata tilted his head curiously. "Don't worry. The map says that there's a Pokémon Center just outside Mt. Moon, and we're just a few battles away. You can handle all of that, right?"

 **"I guess,"** Rattata said suspiciously, even as Ralph jumped in agreement.

Taking his starter's enthusiasm as a yes for both parties, Red grinned and turned back to Leaf. "Got your team prepared for more switch training?"

"I think I'd prefer just doing things through Mt. Moon," Leaf said, looking up at the mountain that was slowly taking up more of her vision. "There's probably a lot of Rock-types in there. I'd feel better if I could just type-advantage my way out of a situation."

"Most trainers would," Red agreed, and led her away.

Seconds later, he was challenged to yet another battle. He chose his Ivysaur this time, just to give Rattata a break.

* * *

While the map did point out the way TO Mt. Moon, the way THROUGH it was something that the kids had to figure out for themselves. They only realized this once they had officially lost the entrance, and they found themselves walking in circles.

"This was a horrible idea," Leaf stated. "I want to go home."

"Weenie." Red squinted at the map, struggling to read it in the dim light of the distant lamps put up for this exact reason. "We're gonna be here a while. Just set up a little campground for us."

"I'm not sleeping in a cave. Not with a huge swarm of Zubat and their friends ready to swoop out at us."

"Do you have a flashlight?"

"No."

"Match?"

"We both know Mom won't let me play with fire."

"A light spell?"

"I wish."

"Then if you're determined to get out of here, find some other way to make yourself useful. I'm trying to find a way through..."

Red was cut off as he slammed headfirst into something tall and solid. Then he slammed into the something again, because Leaf wasn't listening to her surroundings in the dark and crashed into her brother.

"What was that?" she asked nervously, and Red heard the map crinkle as he clenched his fist.

"I'll tell you what it is. A big, steaming pile of problem!"

The pile of problem pushed Red back, sending both siblings falling back. "What is wrong with you?"

"Sorry," Red said quickly, pushing himself to his feet. He could hear Leaf doing the same behind him. "It's really dark, and I was focused on the map, and I'm sure my sister was -"

"I didn't ask what you were doing. I asked what was wrong with you."

Leaf paid a little more attention this time, and grabbed Red's sleeve. "This guy's bad news," she whispered. "Let's get out of here."

"You're not going anywhere," the man hissed. Red could barely see, but he could make out an evil smile that proved Leaf was right. Score one for perception and/or magic. The big red R on the man's shirt was another factor, but he hadn't noticed at first, either. "Not until you hand over your Pokémon."

"A Kakuna and a Rattata?" Red answered uncertainly. "You seem like the type of person who has those Pokémon already."

"If that was all you kids had on you, Mt. Moon would be hard to navigate, wouldn't it?"

That was not what Red had expected. He'd been sure this guy had nothing resembling a brain at all. Still, he had a backup plan, and hoped it would be enough. "We're using Repels to get to the other side."

The evil smile faded. "Ok, that's a decent explanation. You guys can go, I don't want your stupid Pokémon. Not willing to make THAT trade."

Or, maybe the boy was as perceptive as his sister, after all.

"Thanks for letting us go," was all he said to that, as he dragged Leaf away. "You don't have to worry about us anymore!"

Then a Zubat swooped out at them.

"That's not what a Repel does!" the man growled. "Come on and fight me! You can't get away now!"

* * *

When the man realized that the boy had an Ivysaur as well as a Rattata, he yelled at the kids for lying to him. When Ralph won the battle, he tried to take their Pokémon anyway, as a "consolation prize."

"We're young, not stupid," Red told him bluntly. "We KNOW handing over our Pokémon is a bad idea."

"What's making you do this, anyway?" Leaf asked.

That was the wrong thing to say. "Because I'm a part of Team Rocket, young lady," he said with another evil smile. "That's what we do. It's what makes our boss happy - and you know, I even wrote a song parody for this!"

"We'll take your word on that," Red said quickly, and was about to pull Leaf out of there when he heard the sound of music. He turned to glare at his sister. He was momentarily surprised when he saw her innocent smile. "You knew this would happen, didn't you?"

"It seemed like an easy distraction," was the answer he got. Unfortunately, it soon turned out that they were the ones being distracted as the guy started singing. Both of them pulled cell phones out of their bags and hit 'record' just in time.

 _"The Team Rocket Boss  
_ _The Team Rocket Boss  
_ _Now there's a guy that you don't want to cross  
_ _If you face him, I'm sorry for your loss  
_ _Surrender...surrender  
_ _He'll throw you out like a Machamp's Seismic Toss  
_ _But you know he's the Team Rocket boss!"_

"This is the worst song parody I ever heard," Leaf said.

"I think it's one of the worst the authors have ever written," Red agreed.

Leaf didn't notice the statement. "Is it wrong that we're recording this even though neither of us want to see it?"

Red shrugged. "What are you gonna do? It's the time we live in."

 _"You might think Giovanni is pure evil  
_ _But given time, you'll learn that he is right  
_ _You won't believe your eyes  
_ _And you'll stop asking why  
_ _When the world bows down and no one wants to fight!"_

 **"Sounds pretty evil to me,"** said Ralph.

 _"With him in command  
_ _His son is impressed  
_ _So children, beware of  
_ _A man that well-dressed  
_ _We can make a nightmare from a dream  
_ _Watch out for the whole Rocket Team!"_

Finishing his performance, he took a bow. The siblings turned off their phones and continued on their way, hoping that whatever that was, it was the last villain song that they would encounter for a very long time.

* * *

"Step away from my fossils, fossil thieves!"

Of course they couldn't continue their adventure in peace. The hunched figure that had shouted at them from the dark scurried forward, more like a Parasect than a person, and picked up a pair of rocks. "Mine! Not yours! My precious!"

Under normal circumstances, Red would have hauled Leaf out of there as fast as possible, never to look back. But from the way the man was acting, he needed to put a stop to this before he went full Lord of the Rings.

"What made you think we wanted your rocks?"

"My fossils are precious!" Maybe he already went full Lord of the Rings. "All who try to take them must win them in battle!"

"This is, like, five different shades of crazy," Leaf tried to warn, but Red had already reached for Rattata's ball. She rolled her eyes, but sat down on a convenient boulder to watch.

The poor fossil man didn't have a chance.


	6. Making a Splash

**Misty was harder to write than I thought she'd be, which is a disappointment. But at least she doesn't hate our heroes.**

"Quit 'consulting' the fossil, Red. It's not a god."

Red gave Leaf an annoyed look. "You're a giant hypocrite," he told her. "Weren't you talking to a skeleton in the Pewter Museum?"

"In the hope of it becoming a part of an army to protect the world from people like Team Rocket," she protested, ignoring the fact that even with her powers/intuition, she failed to see Team Rocket coming. "What good will an imprint on a rock do? It doesn't even have arms!" She waved her arms around to prove her point.

Red smiled, the sight creeping her out just a little. "The Helix Fossil will lead us to victory," he said in a monotone, the disturbing image further burning itself into her brain. Then the creepiness dropped as he casually returned the fossil to his bag like the conversation never happened. "Whether it's a god or not."

Leaf shuddered. "I think all we need to protect ourselves from Team Rocket was that face you made."

Red almost objected, but he spotted Cerulean City at that moment, and dropped the topic. "There's the next Gym! Let's go, we're on a schedule!"

"You do know Blue's probably been here and gone by now, right?"

"Or maybe he's stuck exploring Mt. Moon." He wasn't going back for him if he was. "There's no museum here, so we shouldn't take that long."

"Don't tempt fate, Red."

"I'm not tempting fate!" Red held up his hand. "I promise, I'll beat the Gym Leader in ten minutes and we'll leave immediately."

* * *

Cerulean Gym specialized in Water-type Pokémon. That should have been easy enough with just Ralph. Instead, Red found himself in a Pokémon Center, eavesdropping on a conversation about the Gym Leader that actually worried him a bit.

"I hear that Misty once beat a Venusaur with a Goldeen," a boy said in awe.

"I heard she once took on a Victreebel with her bare hands!" a girl added.

"I heard that she rode Articuno!" another boy joined in, clearly making things up in an attempt to outdo his friends' knowledge.

If Red had already defeated Misty, he would have been entertained by the fact that these kids clearly held their town celebrity to 'Walking Meme' status. Since he had not, he decided to pretend as if these memes were facts and prepare for total annihilation.

"We're not getting that badge, are we?" At least Leaf was on the same page - he'd hate to have to explain himself.

"No," he said instead. "We're going to get the experience necessary to beat her by challenging her again and again, both of us."

"You're giving me the chance to win your Badge for you?"

Red thought of her team - a Squirtle, a Kakuna, and a Jigglypuff. That was one more Pokémon than he had at the moment. "I think you have a shot," he decided. "But I'm going to suggest starting with a battle between you and me first."

"Do I have a choice?"

She reached for a ball anyway. She'd understood that it was a stupid question as she'd asked it.

* * *

Despite Leaf using Jigglypuff against Ralph, Red won the battle. It wasn't even a challenge - all three of his sister's Pokémon were down by the time the sun set and the Gym closed down. Leaf, understanding that she was nothing more than a sidekick on this adventure, wasn't upset by this.

"Healing, sleep, and the Gym first thing in the morning?" she suggested, holding her Kakuna like a baby. He seemed happy with that arrangement - or at least that's how it looked, considering he barely had a face.

"I was thinking another battle," Red admitted, and Jigglypuff groaned as she rolled herself to her feet. "If I'm going to beat Blue to the Elite Four, I'm going to have to get as much practice in as possible. That's one reason why you're even here."

"Rude," Leaf muttered, but Red pretended not to hear her.

 **"Makes me wonder why I'm here,"** Kakuna said to himself.

 **"There's a reason,"** Ralph promised. **"The sight of a Beedrill scares most people, so Leaf needs to have one."**

"The other reason," Red continued, "is because I want to complete the Pokedex someday, and if you trade your six Pokémon to me when I have an important match, I'll have all those extra pages without having to do much actual training."

"I get that. But we are calling it quits for the day, right?"

His determination faded. "We probably should. We all need sleep after that...villain...song...thing."

She punched him in the arm. "You just _had_ to remind me of it, didn't you? Now I won't get _any_ sleep..."

* * *

Like Brock, Misty had warm-up trainers around the Gym. The Gym was a pool, and our heroes did not bring their swimwear on the journey. A small mistake on their part, Red decided. Not a mistake that couldn't be corrected.

"You know that they'll hear us splashing behind them, right?" Leaf pointed out when he suggested taking a small shopping trip. "That will just mean that they'll challenge us to battle in the water. Something only Sheldon is really capable of."

"But how are we supposed to get right to Misty?" Red whined.

"We don't," Leaf smiled. "But that doesn't mean I can't use Jigglypuff to help you."

So they went with her plan. Ralph got the extra experience that he needed to fight Misty's Pokémon, while Jigglypuff got to actually win a few battles. And with Leaf by his side, Red only needed one trip to the Pokémon Center before he reached Misty.

Misty didn't look like the type of person who could fight a Victreebel with her bare hands. She didn't look much older than Red himself - she might have been anywhere from twelve to sixteen, but Red would guess thirteen if asked.

She did look like the type of person who would get angry, however. Maybe she became the city's meme because most of her challengers were afraid of her.

But Red's fear wasn't enough to stop him. The statue by the entrance said that Blue had been here already, and he needed to catch up. He was falling behind enough due to training, and he couldn't risk losing to a Gym Leader.

"You must be the kids Brock warned me about." She wasn't impressed. "I kind of imagined you to be..." she took a moment to think.

"Taller?" Red suggested.

"Carrying torches?" Leaf asked, almost as if she was offering.

"More destructive," Misty corrected. "It's not like you have torches in your bag."

"Well I grabbed some sticks outside," Leaf responded with a smile. "We can set them on fire to become torches."

"NO!" Misty shouted as she grabbed the bag out of the crazy kid's hands. "Absolutely not. I didn't expect arsonists either."

"Well we can still destroy the pool, if you want," Red offered. "It's better than torches." He fought a laugh as Misty looked horrified.

"Why don't we just battle and get it over with?"

"Sounds good." Red tossed his first ball. "Let's go, Sheldon!"

Misty was almost impressed at how he planned to fight water with water. She was not impressed enough to let Red call the first move. "Staryu, let's go!"

* * *

Red ended up needing to call out Ralph after all. Staryu was easy to defeat, but the Starmie that followed was another story. It kept hitting with Swift after Swift, and since the attack never missed, Sheldon eventually gave up fighting.

Once Ralph was on the field, however...

"This is more like what I expected," Misty said, as Starmie seemed pretty aggressive for something with no face. "Most challengers would just send out the Bulbasaur first."

Red shrugged. "I thought I'd confuse you."

"You can't confuse me. I'm friends with half the Kanto Gym Leaders."

Red decided it would be best not to ask. He'd meet the rest of them sooner or later. "Ralph! Vine Whip!"

A few more attacks, and Starmie fell over into the pool, unable to continue.

"Maybe Brock was wrong about you," Misty said as she handed over the Cascade Badge. "This battle seemed pretty boring."

"That's because the main plot hasn't kicked in yet," Red said absently, clicking his new badge into its proper place.

The Gym Leader gave him a blank look. "What." The word wasn't even a question.

"I only had one badge before," Red pointed out. "Most battles would be more interesting if you didn't have to restrain yourself."

"I guess so," Misty agreed. "I just expected more."

"We have way more ahead of us."

"Keep it out of my city, though. I'd rather watch your trail of destruction on the news."

Leaf tapped her brother on the shoulder, diverting the confusion. "You have your badge," she pointed out. "Can I have my Squirtle back now?"


	7. Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill!

**What kind of Pokémon are you, Bill? FireRed says you're a Clefairy, but the TV Tropes page for Let's Go says you're a Nidorino instead...**

A man named Bill was said to live close by, in a cottage on the other side of a bridge. Red probably wouldn't have cared, if it weren't for the fact that Bill had a lot of Pokémon and was willing to show them off to travelers. If he met Bill's Pokémon, he could fill his Pokedex without having to have every kind of Pokémon in Kanto split between just two people.

Actually getting across the bridge was a bit of a challenge, however. As soon as they approached it, Blue came charging at them from the other side. His Charmander was out of his ball, and stopped to threaten someone on the far side of the bridge. Blue didn't notice, and Charmander fell behind.

"So you finally decided to show up!" Blue laughed, as Charmander finally caught up with him. "How many Pokémon have you got?"

"Five," Red answered immediately, deciding that counting both teams together was a better answer.

"Only five?" Blue snorted. "I've got a lot more than that!"

"WE stop to actually train them."

Blue's smug laughter faded, and his sneer made it obvious that Red had pushed the wrong button. "You want to fight? Come on, show me just how much you've trained!"

That was not what Red had meant to do. He couldn't let Blue know that he only had two Pokémon on him. Luckily, Leaf stepped in.

"Why don't I battle you instead?" she asked. "I've only got three. Easy win, right?"

"My problem isn't with you, Leaf. It's with your brother."

"My brother is my problem, too."

"Your brother can hear you," Red hissed.

Leaf ignored him. "I have something I want to show you. If you can sit through the whole thing without laughing, Red will admit defeat for this one occasion."

"Bring it on!" Blue declared, as Red, knowing exactly what it was that was going to be shown, sighed in pure disappointment.

Half a minute later, Blue was on the ground laughing, and was promptly dragged away by an apologetic Charmander. The siblings could cross the bridge without having to battle Blue.

The Rocket grunt's half-baked attempt at a villain song was good for something, after all.

* * *

The bridge had a trainer every other step, each one waiting until the siblings stood right in front of them to challenge them. It was easy to defeat them by taking turns, which led to not only Kakuna evolving into Beedrill, but to Rattata becoming Raticate as well.

"We really ARE doing better than Blue," Leaf commented, as her Squirtle looked on in jealousy at his three evolved teammates. Jigglypuff simply wandered off to play, ignoring everything else.

"I still need to catch as many Pokémon as possible," Red reminded her. "I can't become Champion with only two."

"We'll get there." She took a moment to throw Red in front of her as they reached the end of the bridge. "It's your turn."

The last person there was not there to challenge them to a battle. He was an adult, clearly in charge of the bridge challenge, and looked almost proud. "You won! Not in the usual way, but you're the winners!"

"What did we win?" Red asked.

"Well, your main prize is a Nugget. To share," he added, and they looked disappointed. "But your second prize is the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to join Team Rocket!"

Team Rocket? The siblings shared a look, and then Red spoke again.

"I'm eleven."

"Junior Rocket," the recruiter corrected. "The boss has a kid. Someday that kid will take over the family business. He's not much younger than you. As strong as you two are, maybe you can be his executives."

"We've had an encounter with Team Rocket before," Red admitted. "It wasn't good. How would being members of Team Junior Rocket be any different than ambushing kids in a dark cave and writing terrible parodies of Disney songs?"

The recruiter went silent. "The boss's kid says that the songs are stupid."

"That is an improvement," Leaf said under her breath.

"So you'll join?"

"Absolutely not," both siblings said together.

The recruiter fell to his knees. "Please! The kid doesn't want anything to do with Team Rocket! The boss said that if we found him some minions of his own he might consider it!"

Red felt deep second-hand shame. "Is earning the respect of a ten-year-old that important to you?"

"He's nine," the grunt almost whispered under his breath.

"He's younger than us and having a teen rebellion phase already." Red was impressed.

Leaf laughed. "That's adorable."

"No, it's not! It's depressing!" The recruiter reached for a ball. "Come on, then! I'll make you join Team Rocket by force!"

* * *

Red did not want to battle this guy, but unfortunately, seeing footage of Team Rocket's villain song wasn't likely to distract a Team Rocket member. The winner was determined quickly, Ralph and Raticate not having much competition anywhere. The Team Rocket recruiter threw his hat down in rage.

"What will it take to get through to you kids?"

"You already ruined your chances," Red pointed out. "And you lost the battle, so leave."

"The other boy just laughed at me. He didn't chase me away!"

"Blue isn't the type to care about other people."

"So he would have been perfect!"

"He also doesn't do teamwork that well," Leaf added.

The Rocket grunt stormed away, mumbling something about meddling kids. Neither of them paid much attention, choosing instead to head over to Bill's house.

More trainers were waiting for them, but Red had a plan. "Beedrill?" Beedrill looked over, curiosity winning over the fact that he wasn't Red's Pokémon at the moment. "I need you to go in there and scare them away."

The giant bee buzzed with excitement. **"My time has come."**

The siblings watched, wishing they had popcorn, as all of the trainers ran screaming at the Beedrill buzzing around like a maniac, even the ones closer to Bill's house. Bill did not seem to notice.

Then again, that was because he had a much bigger problem, as they discovered when he gave them permission to open the door.

"Stop LAUGHING!" Bill hissed, which was nearly impossible, considering that he had somehow managed to fuse himself with a Clefairy. "Stop laughing and HELP me!"

"I'm eleven," Red said once again. "I don't know how to help this...uh..." he gestured to Bill, making a sound that could not be spelled as he fought more laughter.

"And my witchcraft only goes so far," Leaf added from her position on the ground, where she was struggling to catch her breath.

"You don't need witchcraft," Bill told them. "All you need to do is turn on my Cell Separation System. I built it just in case this happened. I've seen enough movies."

Red had not seen enough movies, and he hadn't operated enough complicated machines to understand which button would turn on the Cell Separation System. "So how do I do that?"

"Just wait until I'm in the teleporter and press the big blue button. Should be easy."

And he walked right in, leaving Red to do whatever it was he needed to do. Red shrugged and stepped over his still-laughing sister, pressed the button, and watched the show.

There wasn't much to watch. A few flashing lights on the top of the machine, and then the doors opened and Bill stepped out of one teleporter, a Clefairy out of the other.

"Thank you," Bill said, ignoring the girl still on the ground. "I suppose I should let you see my Pokémon collection, but...well, that would just be a bit of a letdown. Instead, I'll just give you this."

"But -" Red started, only to be cut off as Bill handed him a paper.

The paper was apparently a ticket to the S.S. Anne, which (apparently) was a boat docked in Vermilion City. The ticket did allow a date, but since he was completely uninterested in that sort of thing, Red immediately decided to bring his sister instead.

Bill was halfway through a monologue, not letting the kids explain that they came here specifically to see his Pokémon. "I'd go myself, but I have a Pokémon Box System to upgrade." Which would explain the teleporter accident. "I've got a friend in Hoenn helping me out, but she's pretty busy herself, so I can't force it all on her. And Sinnoh...I don't even KNOW what's going on there."

"Is there a shortcut to Vermilion City?"

"Usually," Bill said, "but it's been blocked off by the police. They're trying to catch some criminal in Cerulean."

"Rocket," Leaf sighed, the last of the laughter gone.

"No doubt," Red agreed.

"We'll handle it FOR the cops, won't we?"

"Probably." He held out a hand to help her up. "Ready?"

"Pokémon Center first."

That, Red agreed to, and they took a shortcut back to Cerulean...where they found a Rocket grunt sitting behind a bush in someone's backyard, grumbling in frustration that the cops had the place surrounded.

"You'd think the leader of a criminal organization would hire minions who could do the dirty work and actually make an escape," Leaf commented.

"Maybe it's a good thing the boss's son doesn't want to get involved," Red finished. "He might make it more competent."

Leaf didn't believe him. He didn't believe himself.


	8. Illegal Justice and the Underground Path

**In which Red gets one step closer to completing the Pokedex.**

Once their teams had been healed, Red and Leaf returned to the house they'd found the Rocket grunt hiding at. Talking to the policeman at the front door only confirmed that the owners of the house were the victims of the robbery, no doubt committed by the same grunt in the backyard.

"Do you mind if my brother and I investigate?" Leaf asked sweetly. "I might be able to catch the criminal."

"It's dangerous in there," the cop tried to protest.

"I have a Beedrill."

"I still can't let a couple of kids go in there. Pokémon or not."

The siblings glanced at each other as if communicating through telepathy, and then, without a word, walked through the door without the officer's permission. The inside of the house was a mess, with what looked like Psyduck footprints all the way to the back door. The kids followed those footprints, ignoring the panic of the people in the house, until they found the grunt trying to crawl away.

Leaf blocked his path as he tried to run. "I didn't need supernatural powers to find you here."

The grunt sighed in defeat. "What do you want, kid?"

"Your motive, mostly. What did you take?"

"Nothing!"

"Don't lie!" Leaf gestured at his pants. "You have stretched-out pockets. There's something like a small CD outlined there."

"That's...mine."

Even Red noticed the pause. "Then what is it?" he asked.

The Rocket grunt was silent for a second too long. "It's a TM."

A Technical Machine? Red had heard about those from other kids who had Pokémon. "For what move?"

"I don't know. But I swear it's mine! I swiped it fair and square!"

That was all Red needed to hear.

The cop was very shocked to see the culprit of the crime being dragged out by Ralph, but Red and Leaf were more shocked when Red got to keep the stolen TM.

"It wasn't the only one," said the man. "We called the cops for the breaking and entering more than the theft."

"So this was just a big waste of time?" Red asked.

"Yes." The man smiled. "But at least you got a reward."

Our heroes shared another silent thought: _What the what?_

* * *

From that backyard, they could reach the path to Vermilion City. There wasn't much to do except walk, up until they reached what was labeled 'Underground Path.'

"They're kidding, right?" Leaf asked, eyeing the stairs to the underground suspiciously. "That place looks like it might be the hole Team Rocket crawled out of."

"We'll be fine," Red promised, though he had to admit that it was exactly what it looked like. "It looks pretty small, so the cops probably chased Team Rocket out of there."

"Like they chased Team Rocket out of that yard?"

And, again, he was forced to admit that she had a point.

Fortunately, the Underground Path was just a long stretch of dark tunnel, lit only a little bit more than Mt. Moon had been. The empty hallways and the hard ground made every step echo, and though both were aware they were the only people there, they decided to run instead of walk.

Coming out of the building and into Route 6, they found more trainers, and more importantly, tall grass.

"It's time for me to catch a Pokémon now," Red announced as Leaf started on her way. "We'll camp here if we have to, but I will have another Pokémon by the time I leave Route 6!"

Leaf opened her mouth to protest, but then she spotted a Meowth, casually gathering acorns. "Fine," she agreed. "I'm going to see if I can catch a Meowth. Hello, Pay Day!"

And his money-motivated sister took off, her Squirtle at her side. Red watched her go, momentarily worried, but he decided that his big brother duties were able to be passed over to her Pokémon from time to time.

Besides, he had more important things to worry about.

He looked around, hoping to find a Pokémon that his Ivysaur and Raticate would be happy to have as a teammate, and frowned at the lack of type variety. He had Grass, Poison, and Normal on him already, and Pidgey and Spearow were too common for Flying when he could save that space for Doduo. A Water-type, on the other hand, meant he'd have to borrow Sheldon less often, which meant less time spent trading with his sister and more time just storming Gyms.

So, when a Psyduck wandered into his line of sight, he knew immediately what he had to do.

* * *

"Here's your Thunder Badge," said the big, muscular man standing as Gym Leader, as he handed the item in question over to Blue. "That was one of the fastest losses I've ever seen."

"I'm just that awesome," Blue replied with his usual smug grin, putting the badge away with the others and turning away. "Smell ya later!"

If he was being honest with himself, he had only won that match so quickly because he'd captured a full-grown Dugtrio before the match, after catching and releasing a Diglett for Pokedex purposes. But he was hardly ever honest with himself. That would be admitting he was much less awesome than he was.

He wondered if Red would think to catch a Dugtrio. He wondered if Red would even think to catch a Diglett.

Well, he wasn't going all the way back to Cerulean to tell him about the Diglett Cave. That was going to have to be something he'd have to figure out by himself.

His Charmeleon looked up at him, curious, and opened his mouth. Blue shook his head before Charmeleon even tried to speak.

"We're not waiting around for them." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a ticket. " _We_ have a ticket for the S.S. Anne."

* * *

Red had captured the Psyduck, and was finally starting to worry about his sister's safety. She hadn't been here before. Sure, their mom took them to Pewter on the car roads, but they hadn't gone any farther than that. Maybe she'd found trouble.

No sooner did that thought cross his mind than he saw her return, armed with a freshly-evolved Wartortle. "The Meowth refused to get caught," she said, shrugging. "I used all of my empty Pokeballs, so Sheldon decided to end the battle the other way."

Sheldon didn't look sorry. **"The Meowth broke everything she gave it. That deserved that last Water Gun to the face."**

Leaf, not fluent in Pokémon-speak, just smiled innocently. "So, how far is Vermilion?"

"We can probably get there before we need to sleep," Red decided, looking at the Town Map. "But the S.S. Anne won't be open to the public until tomorrow. Then it's supposed to take off."

"So we should save Vermilion's Gym for when we get back. Where's the boat going, anyway?"

Red checked the ticket. It said nothing about where it was going. "Maybe it'll just wander the water until it finds a place, then it'll head back to Kanto."

"So it's a cruise ship for the adventurous," Leaf summarized. She stopped to think. "I don't have my spell book with me. I don't think I can last that long without playing with the dark arts."

"You can try."

"And how long will the ship be gone?"

Red stopped to think, then shrugged. "Fine. We'll speed through the journey." After all, he had a Pokedex to complete.


	9. Awkward Encounters

**In which Red desperately needs a hug, but can't tell Leaf why.**

They made it to Vermilion City before their usual bedtime, but they were too tired to go sightseeing. One good sleep later, and they were back to their usual selves and charging to the dock, where the sailor standing guard was surprised by the fact that Bill's ticket was being used by children.

"I didn't think Bill was that young," he said, and Red tried not to look too suspicious.

"I helped him do something," he explained, trying very hard not to think about what he'd helped with. "He paid me with the ticket, and since I'm not interested in dating, I brought my sister instead." Leaf waved happily.

The sailor didn't seem to care. "You won't be the only kids on board," he said, letting them pass. "Just try not to disturb the captain."

"What's wrong with the captain?" Leaf asked.

"Nothing serious. Just don't bother him."

Red knew without asking that Leaf was already planning to bother the captain. He looked down at Sheldon, who was following Leaf like the loyal little turtle he was. "Keep her from bothering the captain."

Sheldon looked up, nodded, and walked on board. Red had a feeling that he had made a bad decision, but he didn't care. He was more concerned with the fact that apparently, they wouldn't be the only kids on board.

With his luck, they'd run into Blue, and that was the last thing he needed.

* * *

Of course, Leaf was gone almost immediately, searching for the captain. Red tried to catch up to her, but he only found Sheldon, at the buffet table.

"Sheldon! I thought I told you to keep an eye on your trainer!"

The Wartortle looked slightly embarrassed, and held out his plate in self-defense. **"Red,"** he said slowly, **"there's _food._ Food paid for by the ticket!"**

Red understood enough of that. "Where is Leaf?"

Sheldon looked to his left, then his right, then back at Red. Then his head tilted to one side, and he wagged his tail like a puppy to get out of trouble.

Red's palm connected with his forehead so hard his hat almost fell off. "You're useless."

Sheldon nodded sadly, then began stuffing his face. But at least he followed Red as the search for Leaf continued.

Finding Leaf ten minutes later, and her returning Sheldon to his ball to keep him from eating everything, they bumped into the one person that Red had not wanted to encounter. And this time, Blue was not going to be distracted by something as stupid as a video.

"We're actually going to battle this time," he insisted as Red tried to walk past him. "Let me see your five Pokémon!"

"I only have three with me," Red tried to object.

Blue snorted. "Perfect. Come on, fight me!"

"Can I ask Leaf to lend me two of hers?"

"That would be cheating, wouldn't it?"

"I can battle you with my three Pokémon," Leaf offered. "I'm trying to get money."

"This doesn't concern you," Blue said again. "I told you, my problem is with your brother. You're still cool."

Red forced a hopeful smile. "Do you mind telling me what kind of problem you have with me? Aren't we friends?"

Blue didn't answer. In fact, he looked a little embarrassed. "It won't matter in a few minutes. Just send out your Pokémon and prepare to lose!"

Red immediately sent out Psyduck. And he did not lose.

* * *

With Blue out of the way, they were free to head into the captain's room. Blue had mentioned that the captain had given him the HM for Cut, so they wondered if he could give them a backup copy. That immediately got thrown out when they opened the door and smelled what was going on.

"I'm out," Leaf muttered, nose wrinkled in disgust, before turning and heading out to find opponents to challenge for that valuable prize money.

"Of course she left me to do this on my own," Red grumbled, but he hesitantly approached the man anyway. "Um...do you need help?"

"Leave," the captain said, never removing his face from his trash can. "Your friends did. You aren't supposed to see this."

"And you're supposed to be used to the water. Looks like luck isn't on our side." He reached for Ralph's ball, but realized that a battle wouldn't be what the guy needed. "Do you want me to run and get a doctor?"

"That will take too long. All I need is a back rub."

There was a moment of silence.

"What." It wasn't even a question, but Red was just impressed that he could make a sound at all.

"I know what you're thinking. You don't have to..."

Then the captain threw up in the trash can again. Red wished he'd followed Leaf when he still had the chance. Instead, he reached out and rubbed the captain's back.

"I'm so uncomfortable..."

* * *

The back rub was a miracle cure, it seemed. The captain was back behind his desk, and Red was shaking in the corner, mentally crossing 'back massager' off his career list. It was so low on that list that he hadn't realized it was an option, but he knew that it was definitely not an option now. He wasn't going to give anyone a back rub ever again.

"Thanks again for your help, boy," the captain said cheerfully. "If there's anything I can do for you..."

"You can start by leaving me alone."

"All but done," the captain promised. He was embarrassed by the event, too. "But that isn't enough to make up for what I put you through. Here."

He kicked something across the floor. Red picked it up carefully. It was an HM, clearly marked Cut.

"Take it," the captain insisted. "If you don't have a Pokémon that can use it, there's a cave full of Diglett up by Vermilion City. You might want to check it out anyway, the Vermilion Gym Leader uses Electric-types."

Useful information and useful moves. "And you promise we'll never see each other again?"

"You might want to leave the ship for that."

"With pleasure."

Without even looking back, Red went off to find his sister, tracking her down only by the people who complained about a girl with creepy eyes chanting in synchronization with a Jigglypuff. He found her moping in a corner, armed with only a weakened Wartortle.

"I ran out of Potions," she explained when he was close enough.

"Well, you can stock up when we leave. Which we're doing. Now."

She noticed the twitch of his eyebrow as he said it, and immediately got worried. "Did the captain get you sick?"

"Worse than that."

"Worse?" Leaf looked confused for a moment, then she laughed. "Oh...you fixed his problem, didn't you?"

"Don't ask."

"How?"

"Use a spell to figure it out."

She almost asked again, but Sheldon stopped her. **"We probably don't want to know,"** he said seriously. **"Let's just go."**

And, despite her instincts telling her to get to the bottom of her brother's awkwardness, Leaf dropped the subject...for a while.


	10. An Easy Battle

**The quickest way through the plot is having our heroes do what players do: Type-advantage their way through every Gym. No Ash Ketchum crap here.**

 **I have to warn you, Lt. Surge has no characterization, but only some of that was because we were lazy. I hope what we have planned for Lavender Town will more than make up for it.**

"You looked in the puke can," Leaf guessed. They were halfway to Diglett Cave, and she had decided that, yes, she did need to know what went on in that room to make her brother so traumatized.

"No. One more guess and you run out of chances."

"You...gave him an awkward back rub?"

Red was silent just a second too long. "No."

Leaf caught on to the silence anyway. "Wow. I'm so sorry."

"Don't."

"Don't make you think of it?"

"Exactly." He cringed again, and Raticate, walking between them, gave him a sympathetic tap on the leg. "I just want to make sure I never see that ship again."

Leaf shut up. There were more important things to think about now, after all. Her brother needed another Pokémon so he could beat that Surge guy and get out of the town with the awkward moment faster. He said that he'd catch the first Diglett that he found, and if it didn't know Dig already, he'd use the TM he got as a reward for dragging the Rocket grunt to the cops.

She suddenly turned her head, then came to a full stop, turning to look behind her. "How did a truck get all the way over there?"

He looked, too. Sure enough, there was a truck on a platform in the middle of the water. "They're probably still building the dock. Maybe they got some Psychic-types to move a truck with building supplies out there."

"But why would they do it that way?"

"To keep meddling kids like us out of the construction zone."

"But meddling kids like us might be able to use Surf."

Red pulled her away from the sight. "Don't think about it too much. We have to catch up to Blue, remember?"

* * *

One Diglett later, Red was ready to face the Vermilion Gym Leader. They encountered a bit of trouble getting to the building in the first place, because Lt. Surge had decided that it was a great idea to put a tree in the middle of the path, but they ducked under its branches and found themselves at the door.

Inside, there was an even bigger problem.

"Who designs a building like this?" Red whined, as they checked row after row of trash cans for a hidden switch. "What does this have to do with battles?"

"Maybe it's to test your memory," Leaf offered.

But the only thing it tested, they agreed later, was their patience. They reached Lt. Surge after two hours of trying, and the only thing that stopped them from punching him in the face was that he was huge. They were used to being over half the height of adults, but the height and muscles on this man triggered some sort of alarm in both brains.

Surge took advantage of this, of course. "What do you kids think you're doing?"

"I'm just here for the Thunder Badge," Red answered immediately. He wished his voice wasn't so squeaky. "Just battle me and let me win, then I'll take my sister and get out of your hair."

The Gym Leader looked disappointed. "If you ask your opponents to let you win, you'll never survive real combat."

"I'm not trying to go into real combat," Red pointed out. "Trainers are more like sports coaches than drill sergeants."

"Like you'd know about sports," Leaf whispered from behind him.

Red pretended not to hear. Surge pretended nothing, and actually laughed at the tiny boy in front of him. "Are you really _that_ much of a wimp, kid?"

"I'm eleven!" Red whined.

"Then you're almost a man!" Surge chose his first Pokeball. "Get ready to battle!"

* * *

With Diglett on his team, Red found the Electric-type Gym wasn't a challenge at all. The Voltorb that Surge had sent out first did use Screech to lower Diglett's resistance, but thanks to Dig, it did not get to have a second attack. The Pikachu that followed did manage to get in a hit, but it wasn't much damage even with the Voltorb's Screech.

Then came the Raichu.

Red didn't think that he'd be up against a third-stage Pokémon so soon, other than a Beedrill or Butterfree. And the Raichu knew Quick Attack, so Diglett was hit more than Red would have liked.

"You don't think I prepared for challengers who stopped by that cave?" Lt. Surge asked.

"It's not like Brock prepared for challengers who started with a Bulbasaur or Squirtle," Red pointed out. "I guess I just assumed that you'd just send out Pokémon of your type and I'd just attack until one of us ran out of options."

He took a moment to be amazed that he brought a big, muscular soldier to silence. He had a feeling it was just due to Surge not wanting to say something that might not be appropriate language when dealing with a child, but he pretended not to consider the option.

"You shouldn't assume anything," Surge said after a moment. "Raichu, Quick Attack!"

Whether or not he remembered that Diglett was currently in its self-made hole or not was anybody's guess. Red liked to think that his assuming the Gym Leader didn't have a strategy was what distracted Lt. Surge from rational thought for a moment or two. But, either way, Raichu missed the attack, and Diglett returned to finish the two-turn move, earning Red the Thunder Badge.

* * *

"Are you sure you don't want to investigate that weird truck?" Leaf asked as they left the Gym behind.

"No," Red repeated. "That's close to the dock, and the dock had the S.S. Anne."

Leaf shook her head. "You gave a guy a back rub to help him with his sickness. It's what Mom does for us."

"She's our mom," Red protested. "This was a stranger. You bailed as soon as you realized what was going on."

Leaf admitted that he had a point. "So what do you want to do instead? Vermilion City is too big to just say 'next Gym,' no matter where Blue wandered off to."

Red stopped to look around. "Maybe Blue was on the boat when it took off," he said with a smile. "Wouldn't that be awesome? I could catch up!"

"So where next?"

It took only a few more seconds, but Red found his answer in the form of a tall building with a sign out front declaring the building the location of the Pokémon Fan Club. Red liked Pokémon, Leaf liked Pokémon. What could it hurt?

As it turns out, the place was actually really boring, but at least they tried.


	11. Fast Forward

**One really short chapter before the length and the plot increase.**

The president of the Pokémon Fan Club gave them a bike voucher, which led to a side quest to get a bike from Cerulean City. The voucher was only good for one, but Leaf challenged the shop owner to a battle and won her own.

The side quest over, they made Rock Tunnel their next destination. They could get there from Cerulean, always a plus, and the path was the easiest way to get to Celadon City, where Red could get another badge.

Unfortunately, the path from Cerulean City to Rock Tunnel was filled with other trainers looking for a fight.

"This is disappointing," Leaf said, looking down at her Wartortle as if he was her only hope. "I want to win prize money, but I don't want to backtrack. Are you sure Beedrill can't learn Fly and carry us to the next stop?"

"Legally, Fly is only used for backtracking long distances." Red squinted into the distance, where he could barely make out the outline of what he hoped was Rock Tunnel. "It's not that far. Maybe they'll have a Pokémon Center waiting for us."

"And what if we get there and there's no healing spot? I don't think we have enough Super Potions to get us from here to Celadon."

"So make some witchy potions. I'm sure you have an idea for health potions somewhere."

"I can't!" Leaf complained. "Mom only lets me make witchy potions out of water and mashed berries, and we don't have the berries, so anything I make will taste super gross."

"Maybe we can spray them on the Pokémon like we do the Super Potions."

Leaf stopped whining, and actually thought it over. Sheldon looked horrified. **"I don't want to be a test subject!"** he complained. **"Don't do this to me, Red!"**

"Maybe not," Leaf decided, almost as Sheldon said it. "I don't think a Water Gun attack would be a good idea for the base of a homemade Potion." Sheldon sighed in relief, but Leaf wasn't finished. "I can go on the internet and look it up, though."

"Let's not," Red told her. "We're far enough behind as it is."

And then he took the first step into the maze of trainers, and almost immediately got challenged to battle.

* * *

Leaf ended up catching a Sandshrew while her brother was distracted by a trainer. Red didn't notice until they were almost to Rock Tunnel, where she let Sandshrew out of the ball in the hope of navigation.

"You already have a Ground-type," Leaf pointed out. "I couldn't catch the Meowth I wanted."

"I don't need an explanation," Red promised. "I just want permission to borrow it any time I want to."

"Her," Leaf corrected. "Sandshrew's a girl. Jigglypuff got bored of being the only female Pokémon on two teams."

 **"Boys can be hard to deal with alone,"** Sandshrew added. **"They burp, fart, and have contests to see who can make the rudest noises."**

She seemed to forget the fact that the humans couldn't understand her. Red didn't bother to point it out to her.

There was a Pokémon Center outside of Rock Tunnel, and the siblings did have enough Super Potions. They did not expect Rock Tunnel to be even darker than Mt. Moon.

"We don't have anything with Flash, do we?" Leaf asked after a moment.

"No," Red answered, disappointed, "and apparently, we were too stupid to bring flashlights. You'd think we'd learn after Mt. Moon."

He heard a rustling sound behind him, and then the area lit up. He turned around to see Sandshrew holding a lit stick like a torch. Leaf smiled innocently. "I've played enough Zelda to know that this works."

"How did you even light it? We don't have Fire-types and Mom doesn't let you play with matches."

"I rubbed two sticks together like I saw on TV."

"And how do you plan to put them out?"

"Ground is super effective against Fire."

Since she seemed to have planned everything out, Red decided to allow it. Unfortunately, the sight of moving light attracted both wild Pokémon and trainers, and they found themselves facing too many opponents. They did find other items dropped by helpful veteran trainers with too much time on their hands, and possibly by the other trainers who just couldn't find whatever it was that they dropped.

And, at the end of the trip, Sandshrew did manage to put out the torches. Flash was entirely unnecessary.

* * *

Rock Tunnel led to Lavender Town. Lavender Town, Red would decide later, was the biggest mistake of his life.

Leaf seemed to decide so the moment she set foot in the town. She didn't respond when Red called her name, choosing instead to focus on the tower that stood in the distance, halfway out of sight, and much taller than the buildings they'd seen so far.

"I don't like this, Red," she whispered. "I don't like this."

"I don't, either," he admitted. "Can't you hear that music?"

Leaf stopped to give him a concerned look. "No," she said quietly. "I can just… _feel_ that we aren't supposed to be here. Can you hear music that isn't there?"

He wasn't sure. Red could very clearly hear something that sounded like music, but it could have been that he was just a little freaked out by how few people there were in this town and his paranoia was manifesting. Or maybe – and this was a thought that had briefly crossed his mind before – he had magic, too.

"We are supposed to be here," he said, choosing not to acknowledge the question. No matter how he answered it, it would make him question everything he thought he knew about himself. "It has a Pokémon Center. We'll go there and head out of town as soon as possible."

Leaf looked at the tower again. "But what about that tower?"

"I guess there might be a few items in there," Red admitted. "A quick exploration won't hurt anything."


	12. Tower of Trouble

**EDITOR'S NOTE: "I wrote more of this chapter than usual. Not all of it, but I've loved Lavender Town since I was a little girl playing Blue. My brother knows this, so he wrote some lines he wanted and let me loose. All plot deviations were agreed on before we started the story. I hope you can forgive us."**

"The tower?" the nurse looked surprised. "Your Pokémon aren't dying. They're perfectly fine."

"The tower's a graveyard?" Red had the same expression that she did. "Is that why the town is on the map?"

"Unfortunately so," the nurse said as she handed Red his Pokémon and took Leaf's away for healing. "You didn't know this? Where do you come from?"

"Pallet Town."

"That would explain it, then."

The nurse didn't speak anymore. She merely did her job and waved them out, silently hoping that whatever had gotten into Lavender Tower lately would leave these travelers alone.

She could not expect that the travelers would not leave the tower alone.

When our heroes entered the tower, they were immediately reminded of the children's monster movies that had inspired Leaf to claim she was a witch in the first place. Red had always been more fascinated with the talking skeletons, but whenever he saw a blur of purple move from the corner of his eye, he wondered if attempting to get magical powers was a better idea.

As uncomfortable as he was in this place, Leaf looked even worse. She was pale and jumpy, as if her magic was telling her to turn around. "You can go back to the Pokémon Center," Red suggested, but she shook her head.

"How am I going to command the undead to do my bidding if I run in fear of spirits?" she challenged, and Red didn't suggest it again.

But there was always that thought at the back of his mind, telling him that this was a bad idea.

In hindsight, he should have listened to it.

* * *

The first floor of the building had nothing of real interest. The purple blurs never let them get a good look, but they stayed in the distance, and the people on the first floor were regular trainers mourning their departed Pokémon friends.

On the second floor, things got real.

The blurs still didn't attack, but they did dart in front of the siblings, and every now and then one would give them half a glimpse of a face. Occasionally, one would cackle maniacally. Most often, the silence spoke for itself.

Of course, things had to get even worse for poor Red. Blue was here, too. His Charmeleon was standing by his side, looking around in the hope of finding something.

"This is lame," Blue said, not noticing his former friends right behind him. "I thought I'd find some Ghost-types here. Instead, I'm getting nothing."

"Because even Ghost-types think you're a waste of time," Red interrupted, and Blue turned around, barely suppressing a scream.

"Oh," he said, trying to pretend it hadn't scared him. "It's you guys. What brings you here? Your Pokémon don't look dead."

"They're not. What are you doing here? You look way more dead than Charmeleon."

"I'm ghost hunting, you idiot." Blue gestured around at the tombstones. "This is the perfect place for Ghost-types to hang around. But I'm not finding any! Sometimes I think I see one, but then I focus and it's gone! How am I supposed to complete my Pokedex without one?"

"You don't need to complete your Pokedex on your first trip through Kanto," Leaf pointed out. Blue looked away from Red to focus on her, and for a second, he was almost worried. Of course, she noticed this, and smiled innocently. "Yes, I am loving it here," she lied. "It's perfect for my spooky evil spells. Maybe I'll teach Diana, when she's old enough to be an apprentice."

Blue prepared to run. Charmeleon stopped him. "If you do," he said slowly, "I will spray you with water until you melt." Leaf shrugged. Blue turned back to Red. "Well? What about a battle?"

"Better idea." Red grinned maniacally and stepped closer. "A battle of willpower. You explore this place with us. First one to scream loses."

Blue, who had pulled out a Pokeball, lowered it. "The Usual Punishment?" They heard the capital letters in his voice.

"Don't," Leaf ordered. She knew the Usual Punishment, and it was not something she ever wanted to witness again.

"The Usual Punishment," Red agreed, despite Leaf facepalming.

Blue called Charmeleon back to save room in the group. "You're on! Prepare to eat your words, Red! You're going down!" He laughed. "Literally."

* * *

As the trio continued their exploration, the Usual Punishment became more difficult to ignore. It wasn't due to sudden appearances of Ghost-type Pokémon, though Red hoped that the purple blurs were just a Gastly or two playing tricks. The main difficulty came from the other people.

They were mostly women, all of various ages, and no two were obviously related. However, every one of them was too pale to be healthy, moved in the same unnerving way that a Mr. Mime did, and did not speak to any of the others.

Then one woman saw Red (though he wasn't sure how, with her solid black eyes) and rushed forward, and Red had to bite his tongue to keep himself from screaming as she spoke in a low, scratchy voice that sounded like it hadn't spoken in years:

"Get out."

Red didn't have time to think before she released her Pokémon. All he could do was fight back with Diglett.

He won, obviously. The woman looked surprised for a moment, before she fell right to the floor. Leaf squeaked and Blue looked horrified, but Red got down to look for breathing.

"We're good," he promised when he noticed the woman's chest move. "She's not dead."

"So…" Leaf cleared her throat, trying to prevent her voice from shaking. "She fainted because she lost a battle?"

"Looks like it," Red agreed.

"And she didn't even pay you your prize money." Blue wasn't speaking with his usual condescending tone, more trying to keep calm than attempting to convince his temporary teammates to rob some unconscious old lady. "What a jerk, right?"

"We're jerks, too. We're leaving her here. We'll come back later."

Leaf took a deep breath, then let it out. "I need to know what's really going on, guys. There's too much I don't know. I don't know how magic works, or else I'd get better results. I don't even know my big brother's real name."

"It's –" Red started, but Leaf talked over him.

"But I know that this isn't normal. People her age have usually been trainers for years, which means she's probably lost a battle at some point."

"I haven't lost yet," Red pointed out.

Blue glared at him, as if Red had been the only person he'd ever lost to. "It's coming, don't worry."

Leaf felt her fingernails digging into her palms, and she focused on uncurling her fists one finger at a time. "I want to stay and figure out how this place can actually be haunted."

Red opened his mouth to object, preparing an argument about Ghost-type Pokémon. The woman had used them, after all. But then he stopped himself. Ghost-type Pokémon didn't possess people. Not often, anyway. Maybe they would for a prank, or to make a point. He didn't have one, so he wouldn't know.

"You're the one with the magic and the super-observation," he decided. "If you say it's haunted, then it's haunted. But do you know how to banish a ghost?"

Leaf paused, thinking it over. "I might need time," she said. "I haven't seen any ghost-banishing movies since I was a kid."

"You're a kid now."

"I meant, like, six!" She slapped his shoulder, and he decided that her putting her fear aside was proof that the ghost didn't want them to actually get hurt.

Blue looked around at everyone else, and tried not to think about this. "So we're going to knock out every person here?"

"Do you have a better idea?"

"We run away and survive."

He knew as he said it that they wouldn't let him do it. Still, he followed them anyway, and he wasn't sure if it was to keep his old friends alive or watch his rival lose a bet.

* * *

The three of them took turns freeing the channelers from the angry spirits. Every time, without fail, they panicked and had to check to make sure that no one was dead.

Still, despite the screaming (not from Red and Blue, and Leaf would deny the obvious if asked) and the horror movie antics, they fought their way through the tower.

Then it got worse.

The purple blurs, which Red confirmed that both of his companions also saw, still left them alone. Every now and then, one would get closer, but never more than a few feet. They agreed that they were all Ghost-types and left the blurs alone, too.

This theory was thrown completely out the window when they reached the last set of stairs. Red could tell it was the last set of stairs because it was blocked off by one of those same purple blurs. It was a move straight out of a video game – they'd entered an area too soon, and now they were going to be forced to backtrack. It didn't have to be a problem. But it was.

You see, the purple blur that blocked the trio's path had eyes.

And a mouth.

And a skull.

A Gastly didn't have a skull. But the skull wasn't human, and it didn't belong to any Pokémon that Red had registered in his Pokedex.

Blue, on the other hand…

"Is that a Marowak?"

Red was about to take a second look, but the ghost, or whatever it was, screamed, startling him into taking several steps back. Blue bit his tongue, hard, and wondered if that weird taste was blood or just his imagination. Leaf started shaking.

"What do you want?"

The ghost put a hand on her shoulder, and she almost screamed. Then Red saw his sister's eyes turn black, just like the channelers, and she spun around, the ghost using her as a puppet to communicate.

"The girl can stay," it said slowly, as if talking was something entirely new to it. Or at least, speaking Leaf's language. "You intruders must go."

Red went for Ralph's ball, but the ghost dropped its puppet and jumped forward.

Red and Blue screamed in unison.


	13. Unlikely Alliance

**In which Blue earns his place in the "search character" area.**

Back at the Pokémon Center, Blue tried to pretend it never happened. It wasn't easy for him, and he deliberately avoided looking at Red just so he could pretend Leaf was there too. Red could understand, but he couldn't take his mind off of it.

His sister had been possessed by a ghost, so easily that having supernatural powers was the only logical explanation. Her parents only tested her spell-casting and foresight, after all, with just one out of fifteen experiments working at all like she'd intended. She must have been a channeler instead of a witch, and her "fortune-telling" skills were just a series of subconscious observations, as their mother had said.

That didn't make much sense, considering Red had no powers at all, and there was clearly no family history of psychics. Leaf would have been taken much more seriously if there was. And because she wasn't taken seriously, she'd been kidnapped to use as a vessel so a ghost could scream at travelers.

Red wished he had psychic powers himself. Maybe mind control would work to get his sister back.

 _Am I powerless, though?_

The thought broke through the surprise and horror, and Red shot up, so quickly that Blue prepared to call an attack. But Red just pulled out his Town Map and started searching.

He found Saffron City almost immediately. The place was known for being a gathering place for human psychics – the Gym Leader of the town was credited with being not just a master of the Psychic type, but with being the most powerful human psychic currently alive. If anyone could help him develop psychic powers, it would be her.

"Blue."

The sound of Red's actual voice calmed down his former friend, and Blue sat down next to him. "What do you want?"

"Want to be a superhero?"

Blue, not knowing where Red's thoughts had been, almost laughed. "What? You seriously think that Superman and Batman can fight a _ghost?"_

"No." Red pointed at the map. "I need a traveling buddy to keep me sane as I go to Saffron and get the Gym Leader to help me develop psychic powers."

"I don't need psychic powers to tell me I'm gonna be the best."

Red's annoyance made itself clear on his face. "Then I guess I'm gonna be better than you at something after all."

Blue fell for the trap right away. "Fine. I'll go. But only to get superpowers and get Leaf back. Once we get to Saffron City, I'm done."

Huh. Maybe Leaf's powers of observation could be matched by Red's powers of manipulation.

Or maybe (and this thought made Red very, very happy) he did have the power of mind control after all.

* * *

Red told Blue his theory about the true nature of Leaf's abilities. Blue was not surprised – "I knew your parents didn't conduct the right experiments on that girl." And, surprising even themselves, they agreed to a peace treaty until the third Pallet Town child was safely home.

The two left Lavender Town immediately. Red had wanted to go back for Leaf, to try to beat the ghost out of her, but Blue stopped him.

"Remember what happened when we beat those channelers back in the tower? They had to have known about their powers and trained them. Leaf thought she was a spell caster. Imagine what could happen if we forced the ghost out of HER."

"But what if it was Daisy stuck in there?"

"I'm not saying we won't help her," Blue pointed out. "I'm saying, fighting our way through Saffron Gym and forcing the most powerful human psychic on the planet to give us superpowers might be our best option."

Red didn't like that option much anymore. He liked the fact that Blue was right even less. But he knew that it had been his idea in the first place, so he needed to pretend that he was still completely fine with letting Leaf stay in the tower, at the mercy of ghosts.

There would probably be other channelers there, he decided. If she was freed before the return, she'd have people to teach her how to do it voluntarily - he deliberately ignored the fact that those channelers had been forcibly possessed, too. And getting to Saffron was much easier when he had an accomplice who could legally use Cut himself, helping clear the trees that blocked their path and making things go even faster.

Still, he wished that he had at least swiped Leaf's Beedrill from her. They could have used his help clearing away the trainers.

* * *

The boys spent most of their journey in silence. They still refused to consider themselves friends, just teammates until a shared goal was accomplished, so conversation was too awkward to handle. It made the second underground path a lot more difficult to handle, but they made it through.

Celadon City was a place neither of them would forget. There was a giant department store, a Game Corner that the person who told them about it insisted that they were too young for, and a small army of Rocket grunts.

"Not them," Red groaned, ducking behind a bush, leaving Blue to his fate. "I can't deal with this, too!"

Blue didn't understand the reluctance. "So they're annoying and bad songwriters. When have you ever lost to any of them?"

"Never," Red admitted.

"And you have me with you this time. They don't stand a chance."

A nearby grunt looked over, and backed away at the sight of a boy talking to a bush. If he'd looked closer, he would have seen bits of Red in the middle of the green. Instead, he walked away, apparently deciding that, surprising everyone, there was a brand of crazy that he didn't want to get involved with.

Red waited until he was gone, then stood up, fresh grass stains on his pants. "As much as I hate it, you have a point. What do we do from here?"

Blue thought it over. "There's a Gym here. We might as well get our Rainbow Badges without having to go back. I suggest we storm the Gym together and challenge the Gym Leader to a double battle. Four on the field, last one standing wins."

It was a detour from saving his sister. But if Seto Kaiba could play a card game when Mokuba was a captive, Red could get a badge or two. "Let's do it," he agreed. "We're the Pokedex carriers. We can't lose."

* * *

Leaf felt like death. Given her location, she hoped that whatever had happened with the ghost was the only reason.

She probably looked like she was dead, too. Her eyes were closed, but she could feel that she was flat on the floor, on her tummy instead of her back, and her hair was covering her face. She could feel her heartbeat, so she wasn't actually dead, but the fact that something was poking her slowly woke her.

She pushed herself up to her knees, and the creature poking her made a happy sound before hugging her.

She barely registered that it was a Pokémon. She was too busy looking around.

She could tell she was still in the tower, but this wasn't where she remembered blacking out. The only stairs went down, not up, and Red and Blue were nowhere in sight.

Instead, there was an old man standing by the gravestones.

"See, Cubone?" he told the Pokémon as it pulled away from the hug. "I told you she'd wake up."

Cubone whimpered, going back to hugging Leaf. Leaf patted the Cubone on the head, and was slightly surprised to feel that the skull was smooth. She'd always expected bone to be rough, or dusty.

"Where are my brother and friend?" she demanded of the man.

He shook his head. "They're where they can't get to us, I'm afraid. You and I are in a hostage situation."

"We're the prisoners of a GHOST?" Leaf was more surprised than she should have been. "Why?"

"It's a long and complicated story," the man said, as if he didn't want to talk about it. "I've tried to bargain for my freedom, but I've had no success. But you got possessed – maybe you can channel it and use it to get us both out of here."

Channel? "I'm not a medium. I'm a witch."

He stared her down, so intensely it made her nervous. "Are you?"

"I…" Well, there was her low success rate when it came to spell casting, and the fact that she was more likely to break a crystal ball than use it to see the future. Instead of acknowledging this, Leaf decided to act her age, and crossed her arms. "I asked you a question first! Why did the ghost take US? A ten-year-old and an old guy aren't useful in ruling the living!"

Cubone started to cry. Leaf immediately apologized. The old man picked up the small Pokémon, holding it like a child. "If I'm going to tell you this," he said, "you are going to have to understand something."

"I'm listening."

He looked at the stairs again. "That ghost is the spirit of this Cubone's mother. She was killed by Team Rocket as she protected her child."

He'd told her to understand, but Leaf was as clueless as ever. "So…she wanted to find her baby a sister and grandfather?"

"She wanted to find her baby a caretaker."

"So why don't you take it?"

The old man cleared his throat. "I'm here for an entirely different purpose."

"And what does she expect us to do to feed it?" Leaf demanded. "She won't let us leave to collect food for it!"

"That's likely why she took you. Her spirit can't leave this tower unless it's attached to a medium. Most of them have guards up to prevent a full possession, so all an angry spirit can do is use them to scare. But if you didn't know you had this power, you wouldn't have the guards. She'll use you to buy food and take prize money from trainers dumb enough to attempt to rescue us."

Leaf understood that much. "So, long story short, we're going to die here. We might as well get used to it." She held out her hand as if expecting him to shake it. "I'm Leaf."

"Leaf?"

"It's a nickname."

He didn't ask any more questions. "I'm Mr. Fuji, a captive of Team Rocket. And, as you know, this is the orphaned Cubone."

The prisoners sat in silence for a moment. "So," Leaf started, "if I get possessed again…you can hold me back if Cubone's mom decides to murder her killers with my hands, right?"

"Absolutely," Fuji promised.

"Good."

And Leaf went right back to sleep.

* * *

Red and Blue had been thrown out of the Celadon City Gym, strictly because of their gender. Red could not believe such blatant discrimination happened to preteens, and decided to skip the town and come back to send Leaf through it. Five times, in a different outfit and hairstyle each time.

Blue had a different, and slightly more practical, idea. "Have you ever worn a dress before?"

"No," Red said, immediately distracted from his plan, and slightly weirded out by how casually his rival had brought up the possibility of cross-dressing. "Have YOU ever worn a dress before?"

"Once," Blue admitted. "I was five. Daisy overpowered me and gave me a makeover." He shrugged, the memory clearly not bothering him. "I didn't like it, but it didn't kill me. I can do it again if necessary."

"How can you be so cool with cross-dressing?"

"Because clothes are less important than victory," Blue stated.

"But victory isn't as important as dignity!" Red argued.

Blue waved it off. "As long as it's not my Hall of Fame picture, I can spend an hour in a dress. Girls wear pants all the time."

He really WOULD do anything to stay ahead, wouldn't he? Red considered, but then decided that he didn't want the local ghosts telling Leaf what had happened. "We'll try something else, but that is a good backup."

"So how do _you_ suggest we go in? They don't like guys, remember?"

"They're going to have to change that policy," Red pointed out. "We can put a sign out, saying that they're only allowing women so they only have to do half the amount of work."

Blue thought about it, then pushed a creepy old man away from the window so he could take a look for himself. He saw three women sleeping, and a few more watering the plants. "Yeah, that's definitely the reason. Look at them. Lazy."

"I think they're cute," said the creepy old man from his position on the ground.

Red stared at him, annoyance clear. "And that's why I didn't help you up when my friend threw you down."

"Fair enough," the old man agreed getting back to the position Blue left him in.

Blue stepped away from the window, looked over at Red, and nodded, as if they'd had a telepathic conversation. "Storm the castle?"

"Storm the castle," Red agreed.

The three women sleeping in the corner woke up screaming when the boys practically kicked down the door. The one in the kimono sent out her Tangela and Vileplume, saying that as the Gym Leader, she was responsible for dealing with intruders.

Red and Blue chose Raticate and Charmeleon. The Gym Leader jumped back.

"You…you're challengers?"

"Yeah. And _you_ have your job on the line." Red gestured to Raticate, who was entirely prepared to fight by himself. "Battle us here, in a double battle. It'll be faster that way. If even one of us wins, both of us get the reward."

"Don't do it, Erika," one of her napmates whispered. "Who knows what they might be pulling."

Erika sighed. "I already have my Pokémon out," she told her friend. "I can't deny them the challenge. All I can do is ask what's in it for me."

Blue smiled. He actually smiled – it wasn't a smirk, but the false innocence scared Red even more. "If you let us finish this battle, and give us both the reward…and put my name on the victory board first…I won't tell on you."

"Why do you get your name on there first?" Red complained.

"Because I have type advantage."

Red grumbled to himself, but allowed it. Erika sighed.

"I suppose I have no choice," she said. Then she nodded at her Pokémon. "We have to do our jobs for once." Both Tangela and Victreebel groaned loudly. "I know, I know. But if we want to keep the Gym open despite our…exclusive methods…we have to give in to their demands."

"We're not taking anything hostage!" Red complained, but it fell on deaf ears as the battle began. So he did the only thing he could. "Raticate, Hyper Fang on Tangela!"

When Red and Blue eventually won, Erika had only this to say: "Most guys who challenge me get in by cross-dressing. You two really thought outside the box - seeing two more boys in dresses would be boring."


	14. Giovanni's Hideout

**Red and Blue are probably grateful that they only have two people controlling them, unlike in the Twitch series.**

The boys would have continued on their way to Saffron City after defeating Erika. Instead, the fact that a Team Rocket grunt was wandering around town was enough of a distraction.

"The other channelers weren't hurt until we knocked the ghosts out of them," Blue said when he brought up investigating. "I'm sure Leaf won't mind letting us get some extra experience in."

Red agreed that it would make defeating Sabrina and chasing the ghost out of Leaf's brain easier. So the two of them followed the Rocket grunt all the way to the Game Corner.

"Probably has a gambling problem," Blue said, and started to turn away. "It's not our problem."

Red almost agreed. Then he looked through the window, and saw something that put a new light on the situation. "Is that other guy guarding a poster?"

"He's not, you moron," Blue said immediately, a reflex more than a statement. He looked through the window, and immediately corrected himself. "He IS guarding a poster! That's stupid!"

"Unless he's guarding something behind the poster." Red knew he didn't want to go down this path without a partner he knew and trusted. He also knew that Blue was the best he could get at the moment. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"That we should tell Erika that Team Rocket turned one of her city's biggest tourist attractions into a base?"

"Are you stupid?" Red smacked his companion on the back of the head, a little harder than a usual friendly tease. "Erika won't get involved! She banned guys from the Gym so she'd only have to do half the required work!"

"What do you want us to do?" Blue snapped back. "We're ELEVEN! I followed you because I wanted to get your sister back and get some superpowers while I'm at it! I didn't sign up for Team Rocket garbage!"

"Neither did I! Do you think I wanted to even MEET these people? You've seen their excuse for a villain song! But I have to do this, and you have to help me!"

"Why, though?"

"Because we're heroes," Red stated, with so much certainty that Blue instantly believed him. "And heroes always step up to fight the villains."

The boys stood in silence for a bit longer.

"So how do you suggest we get in?" Blue asked eventually. He used the same tone he'd used when suggesting cross-dressing – something that contained the message 'This is going to suck, but it's going to be hilarious.'

"You won't have to wear a dress," Red promised. Blue took his turn slapping him. "Seriously, though. I know enough to make a plan…"

* * *

No one looked twice at a pair of preteens walking into the Game Corner. It must have been a normal occurrence, or at least not as unusual as Red would have thought. Still, they did manage to get a few weird looks when they approached the Rochet grunt instead of the counter.

The grunt wasn't someone Red had encountered before. He knew, not because the man didn't look like every other grunt he'd met so far, but because the man didn't recognize him.

"Get out of here, kid!" the grunt snapped when Red got too close. "Can't you see I'm busy here?"

"I just wanna look at the poster!" Red hoped he didn't sound suspicious as he attempted to look over the grunt's shoulder.

"Get your stupid nose-picking fingers off it!" The grunt immediately went to his Pokeball, sending out a Raticate to get rid of the boy.

Red, not bothered in the slightest, released Psyduck. As the grunt laughed at the ridiculousness of using a Psyduck in battle at all, Red knew from experience that the Pokémon was not as confused as appearances and TV would lead people to believe. "Destroy it," he said simply, and Psyduck immediately unleashed a Water Pulse that damaged not only the Raticate, but the poster itself.

Just as Red suspected, the poster hid a switch, and Blue ran up and flipped it when the grunt was focused on the battle. "You want to investigate now, or…?"

"Go on without me," Red told him. "I'm getting practice in for Saffron!"

Blue nodded and rushed off. The grunt, terrified, chased after him, forfeiting the match in order to chase an intruder. Red, seeing no chance of continuing, called Psyduck back and followed.

Where there was desperation, there were other Rocket grunts. And where there were Rocket grunts, there was experience waiting for them.

* * *

Taking the stairs, naturally, led to the Team Rocket base, where the boys found themselves cornered by several Rocket grunts. Sometimes they claimed that they were here to see about joining Team Junior Rocket, so the boss's son could have minions of his own. Usually, they just challenged them all to battle and won.

What made it even worse, and hard to plan, was a long series of tiles that spun them around and launched them like living tops, leaving them dizzy and unable to plan. Blue might have even thrown up, not that he'd admit to it.

"Why don't any of them give us a map!" Blue whined as he followed behind Red. "We talked enough of them into letting us pass! You'd think that they would have maps to lead new recruits through this place!"

Red was not amused. "You seem to forget that Team Rocket is the opposite of intelligent."

"Who says we're not intelligent?" a grunt demanded. "We're intelligent! We designed this floor plan!"

"You do know that just proves my point, don't you?"

"I'll show you!" The grunt threw out a ball. "Koffing, let's go!"

"Do I have to?" Red complained.

"I can if you don't," Blue promised. "But it's less experience for Saffron."

Well, that was enough reason for Red. "Diglett, let's go!"

* * *

Getting possessed against her will was not comfortable, but Leaf was adjusting. So what if Marowak left her sprawled on the floor like a rejected rag doll? At least the bruises were the extent of everyone's injuries.

Of course, having Mr. Fuji there with her helped, and the constant Cubone cuddles – he liked hugging his mom, even if she was inhabiting an inexperienced channeler at the time. Fuji had started taking care of her Pokémon, too, as they refused to listen to her even when she was herself, out of fear that they would be listening to someone other than their trainer and betraying her trust. At least Fuji didn't give them orders.

"Good to have you back with us," Mr. Fuji said with a smile, holding out the sandwich he'd made with the groceries Marowak had used her to get. "I'm not sure she knows exactly what humans like to eat, but she's collected enough for us to put something together."

Leaf groaned and sat up, giving Cubone the opportunity to hop right onto her lap. She cringed. "I think I'd prefer Jigglypuff right now. I'm not your mom at the moment, but I am Jigglypuff's trainer."

Fuji flinched, like Leaf had insulted the tiny baby, but Cubone was smart. He reached for Jigglypuff and pulled her over, giving Leaf the chance to cuddle both at once. **"There. She's here. Now you can't complain."**

 **"Don't you get enough of Leaf when she IS your mom?"** Jigglypuff complained. **"And why can't your mom use a different channeler?"**

 **"We should ask her that,"** Cubone said bluntly. **"It's not like she's breaking your trainer."**

"Is it normal to be this tired?" Leaf asked almost immediately after. "I've been sleeping, right?"

"When you sleep is when she takes over," Fuji answered, sounding like he was regretting it himself. But he wasn't involved, was he? "She uses you to patrol the area, looking for Team Rocket. I don't think she'll stop until she can make sure her child is safe."

"And she hasn't found them yet? Doesn't that mean you can escape while they're gone?"

Mr. Fuji looked down at Cubone, then back at Leaf. "I could," he said, "but I would regret leaving the two of you behind. I don't want any more regrets."

"You won't regret wasting your time here with us? I mean, Marowak is keeping me alive, she needs me. And Cubone needs me as a link to his mother."

"It isn't a regret," Mr. Fuji promised. "After all, Marowak seems to barely understand human taste buds. She must not have had a lot of human food in the wild."

"Can't see why she would."

The two ate their sandwiches in silence. The silence was broken by Leaf. "How long have we been stuck here? Days? Weeks?"

"Not long," Fuji promised.

"Just long enough to need a shower, then," Leaf grumbled, and took another angry bite.

She really hoped Red and Blue could figure out a way to beat the ghost. She didn't want to die of sleep deprivation.

* * *

By the time Red and Blue fought their way through the secret base, they were tired, angry, and just wanted to get on with their lives. Unfortunately, Team Rocket was not willing to just let them go, at least not without joining.

Still, when they got through a door guarded by two grunts, they expected to see the Team Rocket boss. They weren't wrong about that.

What they _were_ wrong about was that the boss, a man they imagined as a figure shadowed in mystery, was talking on a cell phone to an unknown person.

"What do you mean, the boy's my problem now?" the crime boss complained, sounding almost horrified. "He's _nine,_ what could he possibly do?" The other person said something that stopped the anger, and then he sounded impressed. "Stole your Pokémon, you say? Well, then, that's different. Tell him he did a good job, that I'm proud of him, steal your Pokémon back, and take him to steal something else."

"He's teaching his son how to steal Pokémon?" Blue whispered, horrified.

"Why do you think we got as far as we did?" Red shrugged. "Team Rocket's a family business."

The boss stopped at the sound of their voices, quiet as they were. "It's still your turn," he told the phone, as his eyes locked on the boys barely older than his own. "You deal with him. I have my own pest problem to work out."

He ended the call before the person watching his son could object, and immediately shifted into the man that the young intruders imagined he would be. "I must say I'm impressed that you made it this far."

"They pointed us in the right direction when we mentioned we wanted to join," Blue explained.

"You want to join, do you?" He gestured to his desk, where a stack of job applications were placed for anyone brave and stupid enough to want to join a life of crime. "I am Giovanni, leader of Team Rocket. You're a bit young for field work, but in a few years you might make grunt status."

"We have a complaint, actually." Red pulled out his copy of the villain song video. "Are you aware that none of your members have any songwriting talent whatsoever? If anything, I would have gone for a parody of Prince Ali from Aladdin if you weren't going for what was originally a villain song."

"I actually think Be Prepared would have been better," Blue added. "Or Gaston from Beauty and the Beast."

"Which were the third and second worst villain song parodies in our universe," Red pointed out. Blue shrugged, acknowledging the point. "But it's not like we could expect another Mother Knows Best or anything."

"I liked My Lullaby," Blue said with a large grin.

Giovanni hid his face in his hands. "Look, kid. Songwriting isn't part of the job description. Sometimes I'm dragged into insanity, but let it be known that I had nothing to do with THAT parody. I don't even WATCH Disney movies."

"You're a dad," Red pointed out.

"A dad who has a nanny and a plan for world domination."

A nanny, a plan for world domination, and a very good point. "Look, we're not here to join. We're here to kick you out of Celadon City so we can go back to Lavender Town and deal with what happened in the tower."

Giovanni went quiet, and the anger in his eyes made it clear that the boys weren't likely to live long. "I can't let you go," he decided out loud. "If you aren't here to join us, then you are trespassing."

Blue snorted. "What are you gonna do? Call the cops?"

"Don't be stupid." Giovanni reached for his Pokémon, and it wasn't long before the two were facing an Onix. "I'm going to crush you into silence through battle!"

Red and Blue made eye contact. Then, with a mocking bow, Blue let Red have fun.

"Let's go, Ralph!"


	15. Operation Rescue

**From now on, we'll do things as the game outlined for us. Probably.**

Red assumed Giovanni was a Ground-type specialist when the second Pokémon was a Rhyhorn, but when Giovanni sent out a Kangaskhan, he threw that idea out. When Kangaskhan was defeated, Giovanni stepped down. It might have had something to do with the fact that Ralph had evolved into Venusaur, but maybe he'd just run out of options.

"I didn't expect children like you to understand," he said, almost like he regretted his decision to challenge an eleven-year-old to a battle. "But you've won. Take this."

He gave Red a device that he'd never seen before. "What is it?"

"It's something I stole, and you won back. You're aware of the hero-villain code, aren't you?"

"No," Red insisted. "What is it? Some kind of torture device?"

Giovanni didn't answer. He merely left the base, hoping that the boys wouldn't follow.

Blue immediately snatched the device from Red's hands. "It's…weird," he finally decided. "It looks like some kind of night vision thing."

"The Silph Scope lets you see ghosts, you ignorant child!" Giovanni snapped.

Red perked up immediately. "You mean this thing might help us with Lavender Town?"

"It might," Blue said, looking at the item like he wished he could have it for himself. "Or it might not and we would have backtracked for nothing." He turned to leave. "Well? Saffron City! Superpowers! Your sister! Let's go!"

"I'm going to try the thing on the ghost anyway," Red announced. "I'll get to Saffron no matter what. But if this thing works to free Leaf from the ghost, and I had it for days before I went to get her…I have to try it, right?"

Blue stopped to consider the possibilities. "I can get superpowers later," he decided. "Let's go bust a ghost."

* * *

Backtracking to Lavender Town was easy. Getting through the tower again? That was the hard part.

The purple blurs from before started to attack them, likely in an attempt to keep them from getting to Leaf. But they were nothing more than Ghost-type Pokémon after all, and could be battled just like any other.

"Does this make up for not getting to Saffron City?" Red asked as Blue's Charmeleon took down another Gastly.

"It makes up for the battle experience," Blue specified. "Not gonna lie, I was really looking forward to getting those superpowers."

Red laughed and returned to his own part of the rescue mission. He was getting his sister back from the ghost, and he was getting his friend back from whatever had gotten between them in the first place. Today was a good day.

Then a Haunter jumped out from behind a gravestone, and Red fought back a scream. He wasn't sure if the bet was still on, and the last thing he wanted was to face the Usual Punishment.

"Let's do this, Psyduck!"

* * *

Leaf was in the middle of a conversation with Mr. Fuji when it happened again. This time, though, she was aware enough of what was going on to be angry. Or maybe it was her anger that allowed her to have enough awareness to see what was going on.

Either way, it was Marowak that walked down the stairs to scream at Red and Blue to get out. But then Red pulled out a device that Leaf had never seen, and Marowak hissed.

"What is that?" she asked with Leaf's mouth, and Red grinned maniacally.

"It's the Silph Scope! With it, I can chase you out of my sister and get rid of the hauntings here in Lavender Town forever!"

"And what about the Ghost-type Pokémon?" Marowak asked pointedly. "Aren't they, as you put it, 'haunting' the place?"

"They're living here. There's a difference. But you should all learn not to jump into channelers uninvited!"

"Uninvited? The girl's dedication to the supernatural was a call! 'Vacancy in Brain – Spirits Welcome!' Other channelers only call one specific spirit, or set limits to ghosts relating to an event that they have an interest in." She shrugged. "I just happened to call dibs when we sensed your sister approach."

The worst part was, no one doubted Marowak's words. Not even Leaf.

"But why do you need her?" Red asked.

"I need to protect my child!"

"Not weird at all to hear a ten-year-old say that," Blue muttered.

Marowak lunged at him. Leaf didn't even attempt to fight from the inside.

"You're a parent?" Red wasn't concerned with Blue's safety at all, something the other boy noticed.

"I am. Team Rocket tried to take my child. I got in the way, so they got rid of me."

"But Leaf is a child!" Red pointed out. "You're taking a child away from my mother, and a mother away from Leaf!"

Leaf felt Marowak cringe, though their shared body was currently staring straight ahead. "So what do you want me to do? Either your mother loses a child, or my child loses a mother. There's no way of winning, so I'll make sure only one of us loses."

"Why not let your child go out on its own?" Red suggested. "Our mom let us go."

"And look what happened when she did! Did you not hear me when I said that Team Rocket wanted my child?"

"We're stronger than Team Rocket," Blue promised. "We fought the boss and everything!"

"I fought the boss," Red reminded him.

"Just because I let you."

"Whatever." Red held up the Silph Scope, and he could suddenly see the outline of Marowak's skull mask around Leaf's face. "I won this from the boss when I beat him. If anyone can take him down, it'll be us."

Marowak considered. "Battle me first," she ordered. "The Silph Scope should help."

"And we also have trauma on our side," Blue said, raising a smirk. "Are you ready to battle even though it's how you bit the dust?"

"I wasn't killed in battle," Marowak corrected.

This, of course, made Blue curious. "So how _did_ you die?"

"Through electrocution."

Blue was about to accept this, but the obvious logic problem smacked him across the face. "But Marowak is a Ground-type."

"I was. Their stupidity was that painful."

"Your death was tragic, but it's not why we're here!" Red interrupted. "I'm going to get my sister back from you no matter what!"

"I will tell you now that I have even less intention of giving up. Only one can win."

And she jumped from Leaf's body, leaving the girl dizzy but unharmed.

* * *

Thanks to the Silph Scope, Red and his Pokémon could treat the ghost like a still-living Marowak. As a result, the battle was short enough that Red actually noticed when Mr. Fuji and Cubone came out of hiding to see what was going on.

 **"Excellent,"** Marowak said, and then she started to dissolve into sparkles. **"I suppose I can trust you to put a stop to Team Rocket."**

 **"Mama?"** Cubone asked, voice squeaking.

 **"Go with the old man,"** Marowak instructed. **"He took care of you more than Leaf did. He can be your trainer."**

"She's telling him to go to you, Mr. Fuji," Leaf said, so clearly it was like she'd actually understood the Pokémon-speak Marowak was using. "You can care for a little orphan, right?"

"Of course," the old man said at once. As Marowak finally disappeared, and Cubone cried and clung to his new trainer's leg, Fuji looked on at the others. "You boys keep an eye on your friend here. She needs to learn to use her powers properly, and this place isn't doing any good to anyone."

"But there aren't any other graveyards to play in!" Leaf complained.

"I'm counting on that." He carefully handed Leaf's Pokeballs to her, then picked up the Cubone. "I'm going home before Team Rocket comes back to find me. You go and enjoy yourself."

Leaf smiled innocently. "And you do know that now that I know I have superpowers, I'm not going to do anything normal ever again, right?"

Fuji didn't bother to look away from Red and Blue. "PLEASE keep an eye on her."

"Don't worry," Red promised, and grabbed Leaf by the wrist as if it would keep her from getting possessed again. "This time, she's not going anywhere."


	16. Back to Normal

**In which everything is fine, for as long as it lasts.**

When the three left Lavender Tower, Blue was quick to point out that his mission was complete and he was heading to Saffron to get superpowers. Red kept quiet, but Leaf was confused.

"Superpowers?"

"Long story," Red told her as he led her out of the town. They could have slept there, but he didn't want to risk her getting possessed again.

"We've got time."

Red tried to find a way to phrase it nicely. "When I figured out you were a channeler, not a witch…"

"Maybe both," Leaf interrupted.

Red struggled to keep from commenting. "I decided that I might have a different power. Blue didn't want to feel left out, so we decided to go to the most powerful human psychic in the world – the Gym Leader of Saffron City."

"And you wanted her to teach you how to do psychic stuff?"

"It's stupid, I know."

Leaf thought it over, then shrugged. "Maybe a little," she admitted, "but you know what? It still makes sense. Maybe you can move stuff with your mind." Suddenly excited, she grabbed his arm. "We could do NECROMANCY! No spells needed! I call the spirits, you force them into skeletons, and we conquer the world!"

He had to admit, it sounded tempting. "Do you think that really works on ghosts? I was hoping for mind control."

"That would work, too."

They could not hear the collective sigh of all their Pokémon. It was probably a good thing.

* * *

For once, everything was fine. The trainers on the way to Celadon remembered Red and left Leaf alone, and the wild Pokémon were all more cooperative than ever.

Celadon itself looked a lot better now that Team Rocket was gone. Red and Leaf could explore the city, visit the giant department store, break into buildings and steal an Eevee…

"Is this legal?" Leaf asked uncertainly, looking down at the most recent addition to her brother's team.

"It's fine," Red promised, as Eevee wagged his tail happily. "See? He likes us!"

Leaf got down next to the Eevee, and then had to smile. "Ok, you can keep him."

"I wasn't asking for permission," Red pointed out, but Leaf didn't notice. She was too busy rolling and playing with the fluff monster.

 **"Welcome to the team, I guess,"** Raticate said as Eevee examined his new teammates. Leaf's Pokémon, glad to see the sun again, were all playing together, leaving the invitation open for the others but not going out of their way to include them.

 **"What do you mean by that? Do you not want me?"**

 **"I'm just wondering how Red wants to evolve you,"** Raticate clarified. **"I'm the Normal-type, so you're probably going to evolve. Red has a Water-type already, but I can't tell if he'll make you a Flareon or Jolteon."**

Eevee laughed. **"There are more than three options, you know,"** he pointed out.

 **"Don't make us think too hard,"** Diglett complained, digging a hole to avoid the thought process.

 **"I want to be an Espeon,"** Eevee continued, ignoring Diglett's protest. **"I want superpowers! To break stuff with my brain!"**

 **"So, in other words, you'll be a Glaceon,"** Psyduck announced. **"We all know how our lives are going."**

Eevee's ears drooped. **"Yeah, that's a good point. Can he speak Pokémon?"**

 **"Nope."**

 **"Then I'll have to become an Espeon before we get somewhere cold enough for me to become a Glaceon!"** Eevee had the determination of an anime protagonist as he pawed at the ground. **"Watch them try to stop me!"**

* * *

Once they were out of Celadon City, things got a lot weirder.

"Where's Saffron supposed to be, again?" Leaf asked, holding the Town Map that the tiny terror had handed over.

"Kanto," Red answered with no hesitation.

Leaf hit him with the map. "Which route, dummy?"

"One of them, I guess." He took the map, staring at it for far too long. Then he looked over hopefully. "Is it illegal for Pokedex carriers to hitchhike?"

"Probably. But I _don't_ think it's illegal for Pokedex carriers to call a taxi!"

"Will a taxi take us to another city?"

Leaf shrugged. "Car roads are shorter than foot roads," she pointed out. "And it's only tradition for Pokedex carriers to take foot roads because most of them are too young to drive."

Red looked at the map, then shook his head. "Fuchsia City's actually better for us. Blue probably went straight to Saffron after we got you back, so if we get to Fuchsia first, my name will be before his on the challenger list."

Leaf rolled her eyes. Boys could be so competitive. "So where's Fuchsia City?"

"Kanto."

This time, he managed to dodge her arm-punch.

* * *

Blue had made the same decision, and was already in Fuchsia City at the time. He'd already gotten a badge, and he was currently exploring the Safari Zone.

It was late, almost time for the gates to close, but he wanted to catch at least one Pokémon to make his eventual victory against Red even easier. He understood his rival's team now, after all, and if he could get some really good coverage…

"Are you done yet, kid?" his guide asked, as a Tauros stood, just outside ball-throwing range. The creature looked like he was doing it just to annoy the child, and if he was, it was working. "The Pokémon want to go to sleep. They won't be coming out to be captured."

"Some of them might," Blue insisted. He gestured at the Tauros. "Not that one, he's a jerk, but someone."

Tauros snorted, whether in anger or amusement was unclear, and walked away.

The guide groaned, hiding his face in his hand. "Kid, just…they'll still be here tomorrow. Why are you so desperate to catch one here and now, when the entire Safari Zone has a bedtime?"

"Because my rival's probably on his way and I need to beat him."

"Why?"

"Because he beats me all the time and I know I'm better than him."

The guide looked at his watch. "Five more minutes."

It would have to do.


	17. Before the Fuchsia Gym

**At the time of posting, we are no farther ahead in this story than you are. If you listen closely, you can hear the editor having an anxiety attack in the distance.**

The siblings were enjoying their journey to Fuchsia City, plotting world domination all the way. Then, they encountered the Snorlax.

They stood there for a moment, as the Snorlax scratched its enormous behind in its sleep. Then Red threw his hands in the air.

"I'm not even surprised," he groaned. "Of course something else comes up to slow me down! Blue probably got three badges in the time it took us to get here!"

"I don't think that's possible even with a bike," Leaf pointed out. "Not unless he had Fly and a legal way to use it."

"I don't think Blue cares about things being legal, Leaf."

Leaf silently agreed with that. "So how do we get past the Snorlax? Did you get something else with the Silph Scope?"

"No! Did Mr. Fuji give you anything when you were trapped with the ghost?"

"I had like four conversations with the guy," Leaf said, crossing her arms in irritation. "Marowak was the one in control most of the time. He might have given HER something, but I think he could tell the difference between us."

"Can't you remember anything from when she was in control?"

"Not until you and Blue came to get me."

Red groaned. "Well, I'm not going on another sidequest so soon. Do you have any ideas?"

"We can push a large plank under it?" she suggested.

"Only if you think it can actually work."

Leaf thought about it, and decided against it. Then she released her Jigglypuff.

Red's annoyance was even more clear. "I don't think making it _more_ asleep is going to help anything."

"Would you just trust me?" She looked down at Jigglypuff, then pointed to the Snorlax. "Wake-Up Slap."

Luckily for them, the move worked. Unfortunately, the Snorlax challenged them to battle.

Red pushed his sister in front of him. "You woke it, you fight it."

She rolled her eyes, but came up with a strategy anyway. "Jigglypuff, Sing!"

* * *

Leaf's strategy accomplished two things.

First was angering the Snorlax. They did not know a Pokémon that was known for doing nothing but eating and sleeping attempting to step on a Jigglypuff like it was an annoying spider which forced them to use sing against it. The problem was that it fell back to it's original place afterward.

"This feels like a familiar problem," red scoffed.

"Your more than welcome to help me!" Leaf yelled. Her brother took a seat, and left leaf to repeat the process. Snorlax looked peaceful every time Sing worked, and then Wake-Up Slap hit.

The second thing it accomplished, fortunately, was defeating the Snorlax, and once Jigglypuff won the battle, Snorlax walked away, deciding it wasn't worth it to sleep there and block more trainers.

"Why didn't you just chase it away with Beedrill?" Red asked.

"Because Sheldon and Beedrill get all the cool battles."

Red had nothing else to say to that, and the siblings started on their way down a series of bridges that, hopefully, led to Fuchsia City.

There were weirder ways to get rid of a Snorlax, after all. Making it rage quit was probably one of the easier methods.

* * *

The Fuchsia City Gym was the first thing they saw when they entered the city, but there was something else that they wanted to do first. The Safari Zone was supposed to be a beautiful place filled with some of the rarest Pokémon in Kanto.

What they got was a bunch of Tauros.

Not that one or two would have been bad, but in all of the books they'd read, there was a reason people didn't have more than one on a team. According to the stories, the only male-exclusive Pokémon that got along so great in groups were Braviary. But this group seemed determined to swarm children to the point of chasing off any other Pokémon they would try to catch.

"This is stupid," Red decided, and their guide looked confused.

"The Tauros avoided the last kid your age to come through here," he said, and the siblings made brief eye contact, knowing exactly who it was without the need to ask for a description.

"What did he catch?" Red asked, figuring that was a safe question.

Unfortunately, it wasn't. "I can't remember. You must be the rival he talked about."

"Can we make the angry bulls go away?" Leaf asked suddenly, saving her brother from explaining his rivalry. "I heard we could find Pokémon like Exeggcute or Rhyhorn here, and since we both already have Normal-types…"

The swarm of Tauros retreated. The guide turned to lead them in the other direction.

"If you want to face the Gym Leader soon, we should get going," he told them. "The other kid already got a badge and left town."

Of course he had.

* * *

"Here we see the wild Red, facing off against an Exeggcute." Leaf's nature-documentary tone irritated her brother, but he refused to speak, worried that it might ruin his chance at Pokedex completion. Exeggcute, meanwhile, was just focused on Leaf, almost entertained. "The Red has multiple friends to assist in battle, but none of those friends are allowed in this section. The Exeggcute, meanwhile, is in its natural territory, though it is also alone. So, I ask you…who would win? A clueless boy, or a pile of giant eggs?" She paused to add some extra drama. "The smart money's on the eggs."

"They're actually a variety of seeds," the guide added, as several faces of the Exeggcute laughed.

Leaf shrugged. "Whatever."

Exeggcute's laughter turned to annoyance, and it promptly rolled away.

Red glared at his sister, who faked innocence. "Look what you did, Leaf."

"I didn't do anything."

"You insulted Exeggcute! I missed my chance to catch it!"

"You have a Grass-type already. Why bother with that, when you can catch a Rhyhorn or Doduo?"

Red stopped to think. "I have a Ground-type already, too," he pointed out. "But a Doduo… _that's_ an unusual choice."

His sister laughed. "I thought you'd like that. I thought I saw a Parasect – I'm going to see if it can donate some spores for the curse I'm putting on Giovanni!"

"I thought we agreed you weren't a witch!"

"No, _you_ decided I wasn't a witch! _I'm_ still not sure what I am!"

"Leaf, one supernatural power is enough for anyone!"

They continued this fight as they walked off, their guide horrified by the implication that a ten-year-old could possibly put a curse on someone, and that she had already been confirmed to have another supernatural ability. Then, deciding that it was his job to protect the Pokémon from people like her, he followed them, hoping that she was at least a little bit rational.


	18. Highly Visible Ninjas

**We have no idea how old Janine is supposed to be, so we decided to say she's Red's age. She looks 14/15 in HeartGold and SoulSilver.**

Returning back to Fuchsia City, Red's new Doduo with them, they walked right back into the Gym to find…

…the Gym Leader standing in the center of a room, not hidden at all.

There were warm-up trainers, all of them dressed like ninjas at least a bit, and there were too many to avoid them all. But the fact that they were dressed like ninjas was something that caught both siblings by surprise.

"Are we supposed to blend in with these people?" Leaf asked, not sure what to do. "Should we go and get some ninja costumes and hope they don't ask questions?"

"Too much work," Red told her. "Just keep walking."

He took three steps, and then immediately hit something solid. The Gym guide flinched.

"If you'd asked me, I could have told you that the place was filled with invisible walls."

"You didn't tell us that anyway?"

"Would you have listened?" He took their silence as an answer. "The Fuchsia City Gym is full of invisible walls. The Gym Leader was inspired after his daughter dragged him through a carnival maze."

"Is there a map?" Red asked, not quite hopeful but wishing for a yes.

"Only an invisible one."

"Of course."

The guide pointed them in the proper direction. "Just start from there and keep your hand on the wall. We clean them all off at the end of the day, so fingerprints aren't an issue."

Leaf looked surprised. "You're not going to guide us through the place?"

"That's not my job."

"Then what IS?"

Red pulled her away before she could say anything else. The last thing he needed was for them to throw his sister out and leave her unsupervised.

She might channel something out of boredom, and he wouldn't want anyone else to deal with a vengeful ghost.

* * *

The Gym Leader was the most ninja-like of them all, and even he was clearly out in the open. The invisible walls did make it harder to navigate, but they managed to get to him anyway.

"Greetings, challengers," he said, and Leaf pointed at Red to signify that she did not want to get the badge. "Fine, then. Challenger. I am Koga, Poison-type master of the Kanto region…"

"And I'm Janine!" a girl declared, popping out of nowhere much like a true ninja. "I'm _going_ to be a Poison-type master!"

"Give it a few more years, Janine," Koga told her. "Your time will come."

Janine's enthusiasm faded, and she looked down at the ground. "I'm sorry, Father."

"It is not a crime to be excited for your future. However, it is highly recommended that you do not interfere with a battle between a Gym Leader and a challenger."

"Did we come at a bad time?" Red asked, not sure if he wanted to witness the family conversation. "I just want a Soul Badge, we could come back later."

"There's no need to leave," Koga promised. "As the future Gym Leader, Janine could use a demonstration as to how we run things here in Fuchsia City." He looked back to his daughter. "Are you ready?"

"I'm ready!" Janine's enthusiasm was hard to kill, it seemed.

Koga turned back to Red. "Are you ready?"

"As I'll ever be."

"Excellent." Koga selected his first Pokémon. "Koffing!"

Red reached for the first Pokeball at his belt. "Let's go, Psyduck!"

* * *

Psyduck's ability to use the Confusion attack was useful for a Poison-type Gym, but Koga's Pokémon had moves that gave his opponents the 'poisoned' status. Red could continue to fight and try to win before Psyduck was too poisoned to continue, or he could waste a move attempting to heal him.

Or, he could switch to using Diglett to take on the Muk, which was exactly what he did.

Getting the Soul Badge was harder than Red had expected, going by his previous challenges. Then, at least, he had completely prepared himself for the challenge by either trading for some of Leaf's Pokémon to get more type advantages, or dragging Blue into a double battle. This time, he only had his own Pokémon to rely on.

Still, even with Diglett down, he could use Ralph, Doduo, and Raticate to bring himself to victory, and it wasn't long before he held the Soul Badge in his hand.

Janine was speechless, having never seen her father actually lose a battle before. Koga, on the other hand, had lost more times than he'd care to admit, though his win record was even more impressive than most.

"You've defeated me on your first try," he said, actually impressed by the boy's skill. "I haven't had that happen since I first became a Gym Leader. Well done."

"I guess I'm just naturally good at Pokémon battles," Red said, not knowing just how good he actually was. There was still so much of his adventure left, after all. "Hey, do you have something to get rid of the poison status? I know Psyduck's not going to die, but I don't want him to hate me on our way to the Pokémon Center."

"Of course." Koga looked down at his daughter. "Janine, go and get the boy an Antidote, please."

She jumped at the sound of her name, but ran off immediately. She seemed to have no problem with the invisible walls.

"You actually give out healing items to challengers?" Leaf was surprised. "I've never seen a Gym Leader do that before."

"Only if they win," Koga promised, "and never Potions or things like that. It would be too expensive."

"Well it definitely isn't as weird as an invisible map."

"We don't have have one of those. I think the guide was just messing with you."

Janine returned just a few minutes later, handing Red a bottle. "The Antidote."

"Can you help us get out of here?" Leaf asked, smiling innocently.

Fortunately for Janine, Koga interfered. "As the Gym Leader, it's my duty. Follow me."

Koga took a step forward, and walked headfirst into an invisible wall.

Janine rolled her eyes and groaned. "I'll do it," she promised. "I'll be Gym Leader eventually, and since my dad's gone blind..."

"But no one can see those walls," Red pointed out.

"That's not important." She started forward, then decided to grab Red by the shirt. "Hold on to the other one. I don't want her getting lost."


	19. Lost at Silph

**This was fun, but maybe we put a little too much of it on fast-forward.**

"How did he get that?"

Red had thought he'd gotten everything figured out. Apparently, he'd been wrong, and Mr. Fuji had given Leaf the HM for Surf when they were trapped in the tower together. He'd probably counted on her getting her freedom and needing to use Sheldon to get places.

"I don't know," Leaf shrugged. "But I don't know how _I_ got it. But the time I was being used as an involuntary meat-puppet is the only place where I have big gaps in my memory, so I can only guess that he put it in my bag while Marowak was letting me sleep."

"And here I thought we'd need to call Professor Oak."

"Nope!"

But the map told them that Saffron City would not need Surf to reach, but they did have to backtrack a bit. They made it to the point they had been easily enough – partially because Red could legally use Fly now and had called Professor Oak to lend them a Fearow – but had found themselves facing a guard that looked very desperate and uncomfortable.

"Hey…" he said, his voice almost whispered. "Can you kids help me with something?"

Because they were ten and eleven years old, they were a little unsure about what missions they would be capable of. But luckily, all the man wanted was something to drink. Red had a leftover lemonade from his battle with Erika, and they traded that for a pass into the city.

And within ten seconds, they found a Team Rocket grunt wandering around, and several more surrounding the Gym, blocking them from entering. Red turned right back around, and glared at the guard. "Why on Earth did you let these jokers, who are wanted criminals, into Saffron City when you're the one that's supposed to keep them out?"

The guard shrugged. "I think it's fair to assume that I don't take me job seriously." Leaf then smacked the lemonade Red gave him out of his hand.

* * *

They headed to the Pokémon Center, and quickly learned that the source of all the Team Rocket problems was the Silph Co. office building, which had been taken over by Team Rocket that morning.

"Why can't your Gym Leader help?" Leaf asked. "Isn't she practically a goddess?"

"I heard she can levitate a Snorlax," Red added.

"I heard she can see the future," Leaf said excitedly.

"And she mastered large scale telepathy."

"And she levitated herself, carved a statue of herself with her mind, and cooked a potato by starring at it!"

"Where did you hear that last stuff, exactly?" Red asked with a puzzled look on his face.

"OK. I lied about that," she admitted.

The nurse shook her head. "I think you're severely overestimating Sabrina's power. She enjoys her meme status, but Saffron residents know that even her power has limits. She and her Pokémon would easily be outnumbered."

"But can't she do Jedi mind tricks to wipe their memories of ever seeing her?"

"You've been watching too many movies. And I think the fact that they've trapped her in her building should be all the proof you need that she isn't a goddess." The nurse stopped to think. "She probably started the stupid rumors in the first place, come to think of it. Too many Gym Leaders like to mess with people by saying things that aren't true."

They remembered the Cerulean City residents talking memes about Misty, but Misty's status was limited to her own city, and things that were only difficult for the average population. Sabrina was heard of all the way in Pallet Town, and no one they knew could even read emotions, much less something as complicated as a mind.

Then again, when the siblings had left Pallet Town, they hadn't known anyone claiming to be a spirit medium, either. Life worked like that.

"So she can't help?"

"If she could, she would have done it already."

"Unless she's in on it," Leaf whispered.

Red shook his head. "She's a Gym Leader," he pointed out. "What would a Gym Leader be doing with Team Rocket?"

* * *

Entering Silph Co. and having no idea what to do, Red was starting to wonder if Team Rocket was dumb enough to fall for the "We're trying to join" claim twice. They probably were, but Giovanni would probably recognize him, and he really didn't want to deal with the boss.

They encountered Team Rocket, as they expected, but they also encountered teleportation pads, which, in addition to being impossible by normal standards, made the building even harder to get through than Giovanni's Celadon playground. Still, Red believed that as long as the teleportation didn't mutate him into something other than a superhero and didn't leave him dizzy, he could deal with the minor inconvenience of not knowing where they were.

Within minutes, they found the card key that could open almost any door in the building, so the teleport pads served the purpose of helping the siblings escape would-be captors. Of course, that would be where Blue was hiding, as well.

He was surprised to see them, and reached for a ball, clearly thinking they were part of Team Rocket. When he saw they weren't, he immediately tried to pretend he'd been waiting for them.

"It took you long enough! What are you, 80?"

"Your grandpa's not even 80," Red pointed out.

"I know! He's faster than you two!"

Leaf crossed her arms and mimicked Blue's cocky expression. "You just got trapped here by Team Rocket, am I right?"

"Did a ghost tell you that?"

"No." She shrugged. "The fact that you're here in the first place did. You're not wearing a Rocket uniform, so you either got lost or got trapped. And, since you're clearly not looking for a map…"

He realized, too late, that Leaf was actually very good at observing and drawing conclusions. "So Team Rocket invaded when I was on a tour. Big deal." He held out the red and white ball, all but shoving it in Red's face. "I get to challenge my rival, so I don't mind."

Red took a moment to realize that he really wasn't kidding about this. "This is a crisis situation. Why would you even think about challenging me to a battle now?"

"You sound surprised," was the only thing Blue said about that.

There was a moment of silence.

"You're not going to let us go easy, are you?" Red finally asked.

"Not likely."

"Then I don't have much of a choice."

Blue laughed and tossed the ball. "Pidgeot, let's take them down!"

A Flying-type. Red could counter that. "Doduo, let's go!"

* * *

Defeating Blue was easier than expected, probably because Red knew his rival's team. But even with Blue, they didn't know where they were going, and they were willing to give up.

"Ok, ghosts," Leaf said to the air, holding out her arms like an airplane and glaring at the sky. "If anyone can get us to where we need to go, you can use my body for one thing that IS legal. Any takers?"

The boys held their breath. Seconds later, Leaf's arms dropped, and she turned back to them, shrugging.

"Well, it was worth a shot."

"Great," Red grumbled. "Even the ghosts are lost. How are we going to chase out Team Rocket now?"

A quiet 'pop' startled them all, and they all turned to see a red-haired boy, about nine years old, looking at them over his juice pouch.

"I did not sign up for babysitting," Blue said immediately, and he left the building.

The boy made a face at his back, then looked back up at Red and Leaf. "You don't have to babysit me. My dad said I could run around the building as long as I don't leave."

"Your dad?" Red had a suspicion about this boy's identity, and it was confirmed immediately.

"He's the strongest guy in the building."

"Would his name be Giovanni?"

The red-haired boy stopped. "He tried to recruit you, didn't he?"

"More like told people to recruit us," Leaf admitted.

The boy groaned. "I told him Team Rocket was stupid," he said to himself, then looked back up at the older kids. "I'll take you to him. You can pretend you're joining Team Rocket, I can fire you, and we never have to see each other again. Deal?"

"How about you just take us to him. He doesn't like me, and since she's my sister…"

"So she can pretend she's not related and that you're her prisoner."

"Sounds fun." Leaf was already enjoying herself. "You know, if you were going to make Team Rocket a better group of people who steal things from thieves…"

"Not gonna happen."

"I know."

"Do you think your dad will buy that?" Red asked.

The boy shrugged. "It's worth a shot, right?"

* * *

The boy led them right to Giovanni, and the more Red thought about it, the more obvious it was that the kid knew exactly who they were and why they were in Silph Co. to begin with. Still, he said nothing as he walked down the halls, already seeming to have a map memorized.

"Dad wanted to take this place over a while ago," was the only answer he gave when asked.

Giovanni was surprised to see his son, but the surprise quickly melted into irritation when he saw who the kid had brought with him. "Why did you bring them here?"

"Thought it would be funny." To prove his point, the kid hopped into an office chair and watched, juice pouch in hand. He frowned at it. "I should've gotten popcorn instead."

Giovanni facepalmed, and looked at Red. "Do you see what you're doing? You're turning my own son against me."

"More like your son is turning _us_ against _you._ He clearly doesn't have any respect for your business, your allies, or your dignity. Now, what did you do to the Gym Leader?"

Giovanni actually laughed at that. "Do you know how to make a telepath not want to get out of bed in the morning?"

"Uh…" Red thought about it a little too hard. "You…think stuff at her really hard, I guess?"

"And what do you think really hard?"

"Trigonometry?" Leaf suggested. "I wouldn't want that stuff in _my_ brain."

"Not even close. My grunts can't even say trigonometry. I sent my executives to the Gym to read fanfiction. Terrible, M-rated fanfiction. Thinking those directly at Sabrina can leave her useless for days as she recovers from the migraines."

Red cringed as he remembered his mother telling him that M-rated fanfics were bad. "You're sick! You can't read M-rated fanfics!"

"My executives are adults! They can read whatever they want."

Red had to give him points for creativity, and decided to change the subject. "I challenge you to a battle! The hero-villain code says that if I win, you leave Saffron City and go back to your base!"

"There aren't enough words for how much I despise you." Giovanni reached for a ball of his own. "Let's get it over with."


	20. Saffron Shenanigans

**If you came here expecting the Sabrina from the anime, you're in for disappointment. This is the Sabrina from the Pokedex Adventures series, who has appeared twice before. Both of those appearances are further down the official timeline, one with Ethan and one with Rosa. This Sabrina uses her powers to mess with people and to make her own life easier.**

 **And we do ship her with Brock, but it's not like we made shipping two Gym Leaders together an important thing. We'll save that for our original plotlines.**

"What are you waiting for? Get out of here!"

If any other child had yelled that at a grown man, the kid probably would be grounded. Even if the man wasn't his father, he likely would have found the kid's parents and told them everything.

Giovanni didn't track down Red's parents. He merely looked at the boy, at the freshly-evolved Golduck in front of him, and then at his own kid.

"And that is what happens to weak people," he said, as if teaching a life lesson. Perhaps this was the way an evil father did parenting. "They never get anywhere in life."

His son leaned back in the swivel chair, putting his feet up on the desk. "So you're weak?"

"No. The boy is strong. There's a difference."

"And we have to leave now?"

Giovanni answered by calling off the invasion and leading his son from the building. "Never bet that you will return anything," he ordered. "That will make you an even better leader for Team Rocket than I am."

"Team Rocket's stupid!"

"You watch your mouth, boy! Give it a few years, and you'll be changing your mind."

If this had been a movie, looking away from his father and at nothing in particular would have been a fourth wall break. Because this was a fanfic, it was just a child talking to himself. "I'll give it three years before I hunt the team itself."

That was the last the siblings saw of them, at least in Saffron. They were destined to meet again. But, for now, they had to encounter a Silph employee that had come to thank them.

"I want you to have this Lapras as thanks," he said, before noticing the Golduck. "Or…well, you might not need another Water-type."

"But we need an Ice-type," Red said quickly. "And a Lapras can carry both of us with Surf."

So that was how Red got his Lapras. And, as a bonus, a Master Ball.

* * *

Red decided to wait until the next day to challenge Sabrina. When they got there, they were told that the Gym Leader couldn't come in.

"Her father called in sick for her," the Gym guide explained. "Something about still crying about plot holes and…other things."

So instead of going to the Saffron City Gym, they went to the Fighting Dojo, which could also be called the Saffron City gym. There were karate boards and guys with huge muscles, but the reason they were there was to investigate a rumor.

"Yeah, I run the place," said one of the muscular guys. "You kids want to break a few boards?"

"We have a different mission," Leaf said quickly. "We heard you like to battle."

"This used to be the Saffron City Gym," he said, the distinction present in his voice. "Some little girl took the title from me. How was I supposed to know she's bound to create the future she sees?"

"How old is Sabrina?" Red said it like he was asking about the location of a shiny Pokémon. He'd assumed Sabrina was in her 30s, if her powers had that much recognition, but the gym leader calling her a 'little girl' when he looked to be in his 30s...

"Late teens, if I had to guess." The guy looked confused. "A little too old for you, pal."

"Not what I meant," Red said quickly. "I was just…you said 'little girl' so I thought…"

"You might want to hold back that word vomit," Leaf said, and Red shut up. "We're here to challenge you to a battle."

"A battle, huh? I accept that challenge! But be warned." He got down in Leaf's face. "I won't lose to a little girl again."

* * *

With Leaf's new Hitmonchan joining the team, they spent the rest of the day exploring and goofing off in Saffron. The place didn't have the trainer-centric department store that Celadon did, but it did have a video game store that let them play demos, and a toy store that all of them could enjoy.

Leaf still wasn't allowed to buy a trampoline, though. Red knew his mom would be angry at both of them if she did.

The next day, they got to try again, and found themselves staring at a familiar face.

"Brock? Aren't you supposed to be in Pewter City?"

Brock laughed at Red's surprise. "We have the ability to take a vacation, or some time off to help a friend recover from a traumatic experience. Sabrina called and wanted someone to help her laugh at the things that Team Rocket assaulted her brain with."

"You read M-rated fanfics?"

Brock shrugged. "I read one. It was not well written, let's leave it there."

And before either of them could ask how he found the courage to put such things on his browser history, he opened the door to the Saffron City Gym.

"Go away," said a female voice from a dark corner. "I'm traumatized."

"It's me," Brock promised. "And the kids who saved your city. And you're at work, so you're not too traumatized to deal with your life. You just want sympathy points."

"That doesn't mean I'm having a good time being alone with my thoughts. I keep thinking about that broom thing from the fanfic." But at least she picked herself off the floor and walked into the light. "Are you sure we can have kids listen to this?"

"You could thank us, you know," Red pointed out.

"Thank you for saving my city. Now get out of my building, I need space."

"But what about my superpowers?" Red whined. "I came to Saffron for a battle and to see if I had supernatural powers! My little sister can talk to the dead!"

"Do you really want to read minds, though?" Leaf asked. She gestured to Sabrina. "What if Team Rocket uses that against you? Do you really want to know what's going through their boss's head?"

"You won't hear anything they don't want you to hear," Sabrina said quickly. "Unfortunately, they _did_ want me to hear…" She stopped talking and hid her face in her hands, the rest of her sentence morphing into a wail. "People are so gross!"

"I get it, you don't want to battle," Brock started, but Sabrina slowly lifted her head.

"No. He was meant to come here. I have to battle him."

Red immediately lit up. "Really?"

"Really. But if I have a mental breakdown and trash my city, kick Team Rocket's butt even harder for me."

* * *

Sabrina seemed to calm down as the battle progressed. Brock was focused more on the girl than the Pokémon, so Red could only assume he was projecting video game boss music like Team Rocket had projected the fanfiction. Or maybe it was something calming, instead.

Red didn't have the time to give Sabrina more than a few looks. She used her words to command her Pokémon, thankfully, but it didn't help that sometimes her Kadabra started to attack before she'd finished her sentence.

But Red had his Pokémon to help, and it wasn't long before Kadabra lost.

"I hope you don't mind not getting superpowers," Sabrina said, handing Red the Marsh Badge. "I don't think you have the time, and I know I don't have the mental strength to teach you."

Red looked hopeful. "So, if I'm hearing this correctly…I come back at the end, and you teach me how to be psychic?"

Sabrina shrugged. "Sure. Everyone has some degree of power."

"So it's not just a runs-in-the-family thing?"

"My family had no trained psychics on either side until my dad started bending spoons to impress girls. My grandparents told me, so it must be true."

"And yet, both of you refuse to teach me that one," Brock interrupted, proving that he was listening after all.

"I never said everyone has _strong_ power." She smiled innocently and patted his shoulder. "Don't worry, you'll find someone who won't mind your complete lack of spoon-bending capabilities."

Red had to add, through projecting his thoughts at Sabrina, that it was because a Rock-type specialist having psychic abilities would be a little unexpected. She looked back at him, mildly annoyed, but didn't bother to respond.

Leaf stepped in between them. "Can you do one thing with your powers and tell me the full extent of mine? I know I'm a channeler, but can I cast spells, or just contact the dead?"

Sabrina hummed, trying to decide what to say. "When were you born? What day of the month?"

"The 17th."

Sabrina shook her head. "I'm sorry, but spellcasting is only available if you were born on Friday the 13th."

Leaf immediately started whining. "But I've wanted to be a witch my whole life!"

"I don't make the rules. But if you go to Ecruteak City in Johto, there's plenty of medium work there. The new Gym Leader uses Ghost-types, he'll find something for you."

The Pokémon started laughing. Leaf was too disappointed to notice.

"Come on, Red. Blue's probably at the next Gym by now."

"Look on the bright side. You can focus on getting that trampoline instead!"

As soon as the siblings were out of the Gym, Brock started a new conversation. "Why do you lie to kids?"

"Because it's fun." She shrugged. "And would _you_ want to see that girl with real witch powers? No. Besides, that's something that is through bloodline, and I don't want to bother with all that research."

She had a point, but it didn't change the fact that crushing a ten-year-old's dreams was just a little too harsh. "It makes me worry that you'll end up with your own children, and lie to _them_ for amusement."

"Don't worry, me having children is a long way away." She spoke like she knew what she was talking about, though both of them were aware that her foresight was not as good as it could have been. She had nothing but a vague feeling of the what, where and when, while other psychics could at the very least get a blurry image of the problem. "I have to meet the second trainer and go to Unova first. I have a friend waiting for me there. He just doesn't know yet."

"He?"

"I think it's a man. It could be a bear. Either way, you'll watch my Pokestar Studios stuff, right?"

"I don't know why I wouldn't."

The two stood in silence, before Sabrina spoke again.

"So…do you want to read some K+ fanfics together? Just to remind me that they aren't all bad?"


	21. The Haunted Mansion

**We have never written a Ditto before. I hope we did it justice.**

"And you're sure you'll take care of Raticate, Professor?"

Professor Oak nodded. "I'm already looking after all my grandson's 'extra' Pokémon. They're willing to help at the lab, so I can assume Blue told them to. Your Raticate can join his."

Red had forgotten that Blue had a Raticate. "Yeah, I'm sure he can. Just send him to Mom if he can't."

So the siblings said goodbye to Raticate, promising to bring him a treat when they returned to Pallet Town, and Raticate didn't seem to mind.

Once Raticate was gone, Red sent out Lapras. "Ok, little guy…or girl…it's time for you to learn Surf. My sister and I need a way to get places, and you're the only one of my Pokémon who can carry two people. Ready?"

Lapras nodded. One HM later, and they were prepared to find a body of water to play with.

"So where do we go from here?" Leaf asked.

Red looked at the map again. "We can go to Cinnabar Island, which has a Fire-type Gym that I could curb stomp with your Pokémon helping mine, or we can backtrack all the way to Viridian City. The guy there likes his privacy and only challengers have ever seen what type he uses, or even his face."

"So how do you know it's a guy?"

"Because the guide uses male pronouns."

"Good enough reason," Leaf agreed. "Cinnabar Island, then?"

"That's exactly what I was thinking."

"I know." She peeked over his shoulder at the map. "What I don't know is where we go to get to Cinnabar Island, or if you'll let me do the battling until we get there. I think you'd prefer a Blastoise and Sandslash over Wartortle and Sandshrew."

"The answer to the second question is yes," Red told her immediately. "But the first, I have no idea, either."

* * *

They made their way back to Fuchsia City, letting Sheldon reach his final form in the process, and found a way to Cinnabar Island. It was much easier than going all the way back to Pallet Town and going from there. They could stop by and visit their mother and the professor, and Raticate, on their way back.

"Do you think Daisy is Diana's regular babysitter?" Leaf asked. "It won't be long until I can volunteer. And when she learns to read, I can give her my old spell books!"

"Full of spells you copied from TV."

Leaf shrugged. She'd been trying to keep her disappointment under control, just in case she accidentally invited another ghost with a grudge into her body. "At least I didn't waste any hard work."

"Just notebooks and time." Leaf hit him on the shoulder. Red hit her right back, and she brushed it off. "Seriously, though. If Sabrina said no, I can only prove her wrong by training an apprentice."

"And what if Diana wasn't born on Friday the 13th?"

"I'll see if she has any siblings or cousins or friends with magic."

"You're taking this well, considering everything."

Leaf didn't answer. Part of it was because they had found the body of water they needed to cross and Red had called Lapras to carry them, and part of it was because she really had nothing to say.

* * *

By the time they reached Cinnabar Island, the Gym Leader had left. The door to the building was locked, and there was no sign of him at the Pokémon Center. Even the Pokemart had no sign of anyone important enough to have his position.

The only other thing they could have done was explore an abandoned building. Leaf wasn't sure if it was safe for 'someone like her' after what had happened in Lavender Town, but Red promised he'd just beat the ghost out of her again and led her to the building.

It had clearly once been a science building. That much was obvious from everything. They found tables tossed, ripped notes rendered unreadable, and the one most obvious thing, giant machines that neither had any idea what to do with.

The weirdest thing, though, was the switches on the statues. They almost missed it the first time around, but they were blocked without playing around.

"This is very obviously pointing us in a specific direction," Red said, glaring at the statue as if it could see him, too.

"That must mean the Gym Leader's hiding here," Leaf finished.

"Probably. It's not like there's anywhere else on this island he could be."

Leaf didn't answer. Red turned around to make sure she wasn't possessed, and instead found her writing 'GET OUT' on the wall with red marker, while her Blastoise lifted her Sandshrew up so she could leave footprints up the walls.

"What are you doing?"

Leaf innocently put the cap back on the marker, though Sheldon looked embarrassed. "We're in an abandoned building," she pointed out. "We _have_ to make it look like a horror movie set! It's the rules!"

"It already looks like a horror movie set!"

"But there's no warnings on the walls!"

Something moved in the shadows. It might have been a Grimer, it might have been a Ditto. Neither got a good look, as it was gone before they could process.

Still, Red dropped the subject. "Let's just find the guy as soon as possible."

Leaf had no objections to this. At least, she didn't object until she had to drop to another floor.

* * *

By the time they reached what was clearly the main room, they had collected all kinds of items and old notes from the floor. Then they realized that they had no idea how to get out.

"Do you really think that the key thing opens the door to the Gym?"

"It might." Red shrugged. "It might not. If it doesn't, we'll stay here until the Gym Leader opens the door himself."

"But how do we get to the Gym in the first place?" Leaf looked around, and pulled Jigglypuff closer in an attempt to calm her nerves. "We forgot to bring an Escape Rope. How are we going to teleport out of here?"

"Teleport? No." He pulled out a ball of his own. "Diglett, dig us an escape tunnel."

Diglett turned around, prepared to do so. Then he came face-to-face with a Ditto, mid-shift, and then was face-to-face with another Diglett.

 **"Really?"** was the true Diglett's only response.

The Ditto-Diglett laughed. **"I heard the humans talk about the Gym,"** it pointed out. **"Why don't we battle? It should be fun to face a Gym Leader."**

 **"And what if my trainer doesn't want a Ditto?"**

 **"What trainer wouldn't want a Pokémon that could be any Pokémon at all?"**

 **"People don't use Ditto to battle! People use Ditto to get eggs!"**

 **"I'm not objecting. It's in my nature to clone."**

Diglett looked back at Red, an 'Are you hearing this?' look in his eyes. Red shrugged.

"We can take out the Ditto first," he decided. "I need the practice."


	22. Red vs the Riddler

**Halfway through the chapter, we learned that the original games were actually pretty boring. We'll be doing Sun and Moon soon enough, so try to deal with it until then.**

Defeating the Ditto was quick and easy, and triggered Diglett's evolution. Sandshrew did not get the chance to evolve, but they agreed she probably would if given the trade bonus.

By the time Dugtrio dug them a tunnel out of there and they actually made the trades, they learned that the Gym Leader had never actually left, just locked himself inside the building and taking a nap.

"It's kind of sad how far people will go just to avoid responsibility," Red grumbled. "Erika did the same thing."

"I thought she just banned guys from the Gym to slack off," Leaf said, slightly concerned. "At least Blaine is being gender-neutral about it. I just hope he's not dead."

"With our luck? He probably is."

The door was easier to open than they'd expected, but the Gym guide was a lot more talkative than all the others that Red had encountered.

"The Gym Leader is fond of questions," he explained. "We set the place up so that kids taking a break from school can still take tests!"

"I hate this guy," Red stated.

"It's better than full riddles," the guide pointed out. "He wanted to set the doors to only open to the correct answer to a riddle. 'Feed me and I live, give me water and I die' kind of deal."

"A witch!" Red announced, with all the confidence of a straight-A student turning in extra credit.

"Absolutely not. The answer was 'fire,' but...well, I can see where the witch thing came in, too, now that I think about it." The guide stopped to think, but quickly remembered that there were challengers here. "We talked him out of the riddles. Instead, we have Pokémon-related questions that most people can answer."

"I guess he's not as bad as he can be," Leaf decided.

"We'll take the challenge," Red told the guide. "If most people know the answers, we should do fine."

* * *

Blaine was waiting in the last room, as everyone knew he would be. He didn't seem to notice that the kids were annoyed by the fact that they had to take a test to reach him, and was too old to take the threat of punches seriously.

"You're not the first kids to yell at me for this," he pointed out. "There was a rude boy in here just yesterday, declaring it a waste of everybody's time and effort. Then he called me a dumb old doodoo-brain and said he'd smell me later."

"It kind of was a waste, though," Leaf said. Red just let the disappointment come – of course Blue had beaten him here, too. Leaf ignored him. "Why do you need to test us? Most people know this stuff."

"That's what I said when they turned down my brilliant riddles! I would have asked questions that made people think, not about move types and natures! But no, people had to say it was too challenging to ask challengers if the Murkrow or the egg came first..."

Leaf thought it over. "Well, alphabetically, the egg came first."

"But the Murkrow came first in the order of the question," Red pointed out. "And what would keep the egg warm?"

"He only specified Murkrow, though."

"But how would a Murkrow egg exist if there was no Murkrow parent?"

Blaine facepalmed. "New riddle, kids. What is always coming but never arrives?"

"Your date!" Red decided, and Blaine facepalmed with both hands.

"Red's date," Leaf continued.

Red shrugged it off. "Not interested, thanks."

"So that's why your Pokedex said you were destined to die alone."

"Can we just have a battle?" Red asked, finally ignoring both Leaf and the questions. "I'm already pretty far behind my rival, and I need to beat him. I need to get this badge as fast as possible."

"You're a very demanding child," Blaine observed. "Just like the other boy. Are you friends?"

Red shrugged again. "Sometimes."

"Then the faster we get the battle over with, the sooner I'll never have to deal with you again." Blaine reached for a ball.

The Growlithe was no match for the Sandshrew-Sheldon team. The first switch out did not make Sandshrew evolve, but Red knew that all he had to do was be patient.

* * *

The battle ended quickly, and Sandshrew did evolve. The Volcano Badge belonged to Red.

"So now what?" Leaf asked.

Blaine held the badge, staring at his reflection in it. "I'm going to do the riddle thing anyway. I'd like your help. What has no blood or bones, but four fingers -"

"A chair!" Leaf jumped in.

"- and a thumb," Blaine finished, leaving the girl silent as she tried to figure it out.

"A vampire," Red answered. Then he stopped as he remembered the rest of the riddle. "With...no skeleton?"

Blaine shook his head in disappointment, not even giving them the answer, and tossed the badge to its proper owner. Red put it away, then looked over at Blaine for answers.

"That's your own riddle to solve," the Gym Leader pointed out. "I can't give out the advice you need. I don't know anything about you, other than that you're a strong trainer who sucks at riddles."

"But aren't Gym Leaders supposed to give advice? What did the other boy do?"

"Said something about Viridian City, called me a doodoo-head, and said he'd smell me later."

"Viridian was where we were going next," Leaf said, looking back at Red hopefully. "Well? Mom and Dad might want to see us again. I miss my bed, and my spell station."

"I thought we established that you aren't a witch."

Leaf shrugged. "Can't I curse people to relieve stress?"

Well, if it didn't do anything, there wouldn't be any harm. "I guess. Can I join you?"

"Sure! I've always wanted my big brother to help out! Think of all the destruction we can do together!"

Blaine immediately regretted ever allowing these people into his Gym. He needed to seriously consider retirement.

* * *

Giovanni didn't know how he knew, but he knew that boy was going to show up again.

He didn't have much experience with kids, not even his own, but from what he'd experienced at Rocket meetings, children liked to show up completely uninvited and ruin everything. So, the only way he could handle the boy was to meet him on his own terms.

There was one location he knew the boy hadn't visited, and yet, he was very sure he would have wanted to. That location could easily be turned into a trap, no matter which companion followed the child. The other boy would likely want to be there, too.

As for the girl…

He had no idea what could get the girl to come. Perhaps just being with her brother would be enough. She was sure to have something to motivate her, but frankly, he didn't care enough about her to try.

So it was back to the one course of action. He would set a trap for two of the three children, and perhaps use the girl as bait.

It was all the perfect plan.

"Dad! There's a Team Rocket grunt under my bed!"

Giovanni's eye twitched. "I know, son. I stationed him there."

"I want him _fired!_ "

"He's there to protect you."

"But he's so stupid! I'm strong enough to protect myself! Just give me a Pokémon and I can prove it to you!"

"For the last time, Team Rocket doesn't give handouts! If you want a Pokémon, you're going to have to take it yourself!"

Giovanni sighed in relief as his son's complaints trailed off into angry mumbling.

 _Kids,_ Giovanni thought. _You have them, and then you wish they weren't around._


	23. Back Home

**A look into Red and Leaf's pre-trainer lives before the story starts rushing to the conclusion.**

Lapras carried the siblings to Pallet Town with little problem. It was what happened when they got to Professor Oak's lab that became a problem.

"Raticate," Red whined when he saw his first capture practicing Hyper Fang on Blue's Raticate. "I thought you said you were going to be good for the professor!"

"That lasted ten minutes," said Professor Oak. He didn't seem to mind the rivalry, just the destruction of his lab. "I should have seen this coming. Their trainers can't get along for more than ten minutes, why should they?"

 **"He started it,"** said Red's Raticate, pointing at Blue's like it meant something.

Blue's Raticate Quick Attacked Red's in retaliation.

"Maybe sending him to you wasn't the best idea I've ever had," Red admitted. "But it's not like my mom would accept a rodent any less cute than Raichu in her house."

"Maybe you should've caught a Pikachu instead," Leaf suggested. "Or sent Golduck to Mom."

Well, that was something he could do. "What do you think, Raticate? Do you want to come back and join me?"

 **"Why? You never use me in battle anymore. I'm just a first-route catch and I don't even have Pickup for an ability. I can accept that."** He gestured to Blue's Raticate. **"I like it better here. A rivalry is fun."**

Red didn't understand the words, but he understood the emotion behind it. "You can stay," he decided. "Just try not to destroy Professor Oak's lab, ok?"

 **"I can't promise anything,"** said Raticate, **"but I'll do my best to try."**

* * *

The siblings returned home, where they got to have their mom's cooking again, and each of them got to take a hot shower in their own bathroom. Then, when their parents went to sleep, each of them released a Pokémon (Red chose Golduck, Leaf chose Hitmonchan) and went into Leaf's room.

Red hadn't been in here for a while. He remembered, dimly, when she was a toddler and her walls had been the same pale pink that he assumed his parents had painted it when they first brought her home. He hadn't cared to visit much after that, seeing as his mom was the one to wake Leaf when the kids were home. He hadn't expected what he saw when he opened the door.

The crib had been swapped for a bed, but he wasn't surprised by that. The walls had posters on them, now, bits of art and fantasy movies that, if you moved them just a little, you could see bits of the same old pink coming through. The bookshelves were filled with books, movies, and little Pokémon made from Legos, and none of them gave instructions on how to raise, summon, or control the dead. A copy of The Little Mermaid was in her DVD player, the case half-open on top of it. The place looked like any other preteen girl's bedroom.

"So disappointing," he said, looking under her bed for anything but the shoes and forgotten dresses that he found. "Where's your witchy stuff?"

"The diary on my bed is my spell book," Leaf said absently, digging around in a jewelry box for something. "I thought you would have read it by now."

"I wouldn't read my sister's diary. That's not right. I would just blackmail you into telling me your secrets."

Leaf actually laughed, though Hitmonchan looked horrified. "Yeah, I'd do the same for you." She found what she was looking for and returned, switching on her desk lamp and turning off the main light. "Since Mom won't let me play with fire, even for magic."

Red nodded, remembering. Leaf kicked aside a shirt she hadn't bothered to put in the laundry and took a seat on the floor, putting a few small things in front of her. Paper, a pen, a trinket box…

"Are you sure this is witchy?" Red asked, sitting across from her, hoping not to sound too confused. The shiny pink diary mocked him, and he dropped it with the rest of the supplies.

"Not quite, but I have to do it with what I've got." Leaf uncapped the pen and took the paper, but stopped. "How do you spell Giovanni?"

Red had no idea. "Write 'Team Rocket Boss' instead. Or just Team Rocket, curse the whole group."

"Better." That, at least, she could spell. "Ok, flip through the pages until you find the last spell written. All the others are from TV, but I wrote that one."

"Sounds creepy."

"Dude. I was possessed by the ghost of a Pokémon. _That_ was creepy." She gestured to the diary. "This is stuff I've been doing for years."

Red had to admit, it was a good point. Hitmonchan and Golduck, on the other hand, knew only vaguely that Leaf played with dark forces, and were properly terrified.

 **"Is she actually a witch?"** Hitmonchan asked, wondering what he'd gotten into. He wouldn't have even allowed himself to be captured if he'd had any idea what his destined trainer was.

 **"We don't think so,"** said Golduck, though he wasn't sure himself. **"But the thing about the ghost was true."**

Red paid no attention to the horror of their non-human partners. He'd found the spell, and was reading it carefully.

"Did you mean to write this to the tune of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star?"

"Yeah," Leaf confirmed. "The words just popped into my brain, tune attached. Why? Does singing your magic bother you?"

"I've never tried to cast a spell before," Red reminded her. "I don't know if I'm a wizard or a warlock or whatever guy witches are called."

"Well, apparently, I'm not really a witch." Leaf crushed the paper with 'Team Rocket' written on it, but smoothed it out as much as she could. "We'll just read the spell like a poem instead, ok?"

They settled in to the dimly-lit work station, Leaf opening the little box. She held up three fingers, and the moment she lowered the last one, they read the spell together.

It did turn into singing later on, but good luck getting either of them to admit it.

* * *

The two woke up late. Professor Oak did not ask for either of them, they had no school, and Viridian City was less than a day away.

They didn't know what was waiting for them, but they did know that their mother had made them chocolate chip pancakes. They knew that they were going to charge the Viridian Gym together, with Red armed with the strongest of both teams. They knew they could handle it.

"I see why you don't want to give up on your witchy ways," Red said as they finally left the house. "The spell made me feel powerful."

"See?" Leaf smiled innocently. "Working or not, it's fun! And how cool would it be if Team Rocket actually does end up quitting?"

"Incompetence works in mysterious ways."

"And a nine-year-old who wants nothing to do with his dad's business."

The two continued in silence, but the thoughts of magic kept both of them thinking. "You know, Leaf, I would be a pretty amazing wizard. I'd be a very kind, tyrannical, magic overlord."

"I just wanted power," Leaf said with a shrug. "Not world-dominating power, just enough to make people fear me."

"With what you _can_ do, I think you've got them all running."

Leaf's smile was the brightest he'd ever seen. "You think so?"

"Promise."

The road out of Pallet Town looked much less intimidating now. Probably because they could easily overpower anything that decided to battle them, but they liked to think because they'd grown up on this journey. It wasn't unheard of for previous Pokedex carriers to say something like that.

Grown up or not, they were on the road to Viridian City. And, more horrifying yet, Viridian City was completely unaware.


	24. High-Stakes Gym Battle

**We didn't forget about Red's Eevee. We just forgot to use him. That and the fact that my editor is at war with the internet means that we'll be finishing even faster than we expected. But for now, we're just trying to tell the story when the developers didn't start thinking of 'story' until Johto.**

When they got to the Viridian City Gym for the second time, it was unlocked. Red was surprised – he'd thought Brock or Blaine would have warned the Gym Leader that they were coming. But then he decided that the Gym Leader probably thought that two kids weren't as destructive as Pokedex carriers tend to be, and it would be his job to prove the person wrong.

He became suspicious when he led his sister into the Gym, and found that even the Gym guide was completely clueless.

"Not completely!" the guide objected when Leaf said so out loud. "I know that the trainers like to use Ground-types! That must mean that the Gym Leader uses Ground-types!"

Ground-type Pokémon…

Red looked around, trying to make sense of the maze. It had clearly visible walls, but some of those tiles looked awfully familiar.

"No," Red said out loud. He felt like his heart was sinking into his shoes. "They let that guy run a Gym?"

"What guy?" asked Leaf, who, due to a traumatic superpower awakening, had completely missed the event that her brother was flashing back to.

Red pointed to the tiles, remembering being spun around so violently that he'd stumbled into multiple walls and had to reorient himself, or until something had tripped him. Whatever had been in the Celadon Game Corner had similar designs to whatever this was, and there was only one person dumb enough to think this was enjoyable in any way.

Giovanni needed to pay for this crime against humanity.

And probably all his other crimes, too. He'd decide that later.

* * *

As Red's worst fears had predicted, Giovanni was waiting for them. For his part, he tried to be a Gym Leader more than he was the leader of Team Rocket, but it was still very clear that he was planning to end their journey.

"Welcome to my hideout," Giovanni said, somehow unable to stop his criminal tendencies like dramatic introductions, even around people who definitely did not look like his grunts. "I bet you didn't expect me, Giovanni, to be Kanto's strongest gym leader."

"Actually, I kind of figured it out when I saw the spinning tiles," Red admitted.

Giovanni's face fell as the young trainer burst his bubble made of pure ego. "I-I was really looking forward to seeing your faces." The man took a moment to shake off his disappointment, and continued where he left off in his speech as if he wasn't interrupted. "So you've finally found me again. The other boy already has."

"What did you do with Blue?"

Had it been anyone else who knew both boys, Red's anger would have come as a surprise. But Leaf and Giovanni were both aware of the fact that the two were friends deep down, so Giovanni let it slide.

"He's alive," he stated. "He only concerned himself with the Earth Badge. I performed my duties as Gym Leader, and he left in peace." He switched back to his crime boss self as he glared at his next challenger. "I don't think you are so easily distracted."

"Nope." Red reached for his first-choice Pokémon, the Venusaur that had been with him from the start. "I want more than the Earth Badge. If I win, I get the badge and never have to deal with Team Rocket again. I want you out of the entire Kanto region."

"And if I win, I will never see _any_ of you again. You, her, your friend…" His evil smirk almost scared them, but nothing could top the fear of Lavender Tower. "Of course, this means that you will never get the Earth Badge." He stepped closer, towering over Red. "Do we have a deal?

This was a tough choice, especially for someone as young as Red. This battle could determine not only if he got rid of Team Rocket, but if he could even make it to the Elite Four and Champion. He had one chance to get the Earth Badge.

He had one chance to save the world.

There wasn't a choice, was there?

"We have a deal."

He'd just have to give it his best shot. He had Ralph, Sheldon, Golduck, and Lapras. He could type-advantage his way through a Ground-type Gym.

Probably.

* * *

The end result of this battle was a surprisingly predictable one. There was hardly any of the tension usually associated with a final boss, though Red did have the kind of feeling he got when he fought a video game boss. This was just a Gym battle with higher stakes.

Red had decided to rotate his Pokémon, and through this, Eevee did evolve into Espeon in the fight. Red was happy about this – he had deliberately avoided using Eevee in important battles just so he could bond with it and let friendship and sunlight win over any of the stones he could have used.

Espeon aside, the very fact that he had three Pokémon with a type advantage, and had borrowed a Blastoise from his sister, was enough to give him the confidence he needed to take down Giovanni.

As his last Pokémon fell, Giovanni was much calmer than they had expected, though he did throw what was assumed to be the Earth Badge at Red instead of simply handing it over like the other Gym Leaders. "There," he said, as if this was normal. "You've won. Now get out of my sight."

"Not until I see you properly end Team Rocket." How he'd received it didn't stop Red from putting the badge with the others he'd earned. "Well? Go do the thing."

"Very well. I am a man of my word. I'll stop giving orders, and the grunts will crash under the weight of their own stupidity. So all of my plans for Team Rocket are now cancelled. We shall never do anything in the Kanto region again."

"Awesome," said Red, who was eleven years old and high on victory, making him oblivious to things like loophole abuse. But that was a problem for another region, another time, and another boy.

Red's Pokémon weren't as ready to let it all slide, though.

 **"You mean I don't get to use my awesome new brain powers to destroy the place?"** Espeon asked, slightly disappointed.

 **"Who said that?"** Golduck said, struggling not to laugh. **"I won't stop you from destroying anything. Can you even use a Psychic-type move yet?"**

 **"We can try."** His tail flicked, ready to test the theory, but Red stopped them.

"That's enough," he warned, and called them both back to their balls. "We've won. Time to watch Giovanni sink into his misery for a bit."

"Do you think I'm going to going to mope?" Giovanni asked, almost offended. "You've defeated me, and I'm sure my son will mock me for the next seven years. If I don't die of shame now, you have no power over me."

"Good point," Red admitted. He looked down at Espeon. "Do you think you can use psychic powers to pin him to the wall?"


	25. Friendly Rivalry

**We're so close, and yet, so far.**

With Team Rocket kicked out of Kanto, Espeon actually having an accomplishment, and Red getting the last of the badges, the siblings knew that their journey was coming to a close.

Victory Road was just a short walk from Viridian, with Pokémon that were easy to defeat in a single move. There might have been more Pokémon, stronger than most, walking around Victory Road itself, but there was no way for them to tell. They'd never been there before.

Of course, ten minutes into their walk, they encountered someone familiar, and mostly unwelcome.

"I didn't think you'd even get here!" Blue laughed, and Red was instantly annoyed.

"I had to put a stop to all of Team Rocket," he pointed out. "Didn't the fact that you actually met Giovanni before make you want to stop his evil plans?"

"Well, yeah," Blue admitted, "but what could I do about it? I'm just a kid, Red. I had to take it when he offered me the chance for the Earth Badge instead of instant extermination."

"Really?" Red showed off his own Earth Badge with an evil smile, daring Blue to top this accomplishment. "I got him to end Team Rocket's plans. He promised he won't bother us anymore."

Blue's shock was enough to get Red to laugh. "Seriously?"

"Looks like I am ahead of you now." Red put the badges away. "And you no longer have to worry about Giovanni coming after you."

"It was probably the spell," Leaf added. "We did it together! At least one of us must have real magic after all!"

Blue stared at her in silence, wondering what nonsense she was spitting this time. A glance at Red, then back to Leaf, before he finally decided that he wasn't concerned and turned back to Red.

"Battle me," he ordered. "Consider it a warm-up for the Pokémon League!"

"Ok, Blue." Red stuffed his hands in his pockets. "How many times did you challenge me on this journey? This includes the friendly practice battles when my sister was possessed." Blue looked uncomfortable, but Red didn't stop. "Go on, give a number."

"I dunno...fifteen?"

"And how many times have I beaten you? Shamelessly?"

Blue stared at the ground. "Fifteen."

"So what makes you think this time will be any different?"

Blue straightened his shoulders to look Red in the eyes. "Because I've already been through Victory Road."

The siblings stopped thinking for a moment.

"Good enough logic," Red decided, and sent out Espeon.

* * *

Red, as always, turned out to be the winner. Blue, for once, did not seem to mind.

"So you stopped Team Rocket and defeated me here," he said, shrugging. "Big deal."

"It kind of is, though," Leaf pointed out.

"Not as big as it could be," Blue pointed out. "I'll still beat the Champion before you do, and when I'm in the Hall of Fame, future challengers will know that I won the race!"

"Is that what this whole journey was to you?" Red was suddenly concerned for his friend's mental health. "A race?"

"Well…yeah. Wasn't it? Weren't _you_ trying to beat _me_ to the Hall of Fame?"

Red had to think. "Maybe a little bit, at first," he admitted. "But then I got caught up in Team Rocket, and that was a pretty big distraction."

"We had to defeat them without letting them kill themselves with sheer stupidity," Leaf added. "It took up a lot of our time."

"You could have left it alone," Blue pointed out. "It sounds like it would have been a problem that solved itself."

"Death does not smell pretty," Leaf stated, and was suddenly startled by how sure she was of that statement. She'd never found a corpse. She'd never even been to a funeral. It could only be Marowak's memories, and that was a little bit concerning.

"You didn't smell pretty back in that graveyard," Blue confirmed. "That's not my point. My point is, I'm ahead of you now, and always will be."

Red looked over at what the map stated to be the Pokémon League building, which was just a speck in the distance to his eyes. "You're literally only three steps ahead," he pointed out.

Blue stepped back, making it four steps. "You're right. But unlike you, I can use Fly to get to the building and challenge the Elite Four while you're still struggling with the puzzles in Victory Road. When you see me next, I'll be a Kanto region Pokémon Champion! Smell you later!"

And he sent out his Pidgeot to do exactly as he'd said he could. Leaf started to sprint down to Victory Road, but Red held her back.

"Let him go," he said, and she looked at him, confused.

"Why? Don't you want to win?"

"Oh, I'll win anyway. I can feel it. I just figured I'd let him take on a few Elite Four members so I can see him when he gets his ego crushed."

Leaf stared. Then she smirked.

"You're evil."

"I know." Red pushed her forward. "Now Blue should be far enough ahead of us that he'll get there first if we walk. Let's get going. I want to go home."

* * *

They agreed that trying to get to the Pokémon League building was a pain. It started with encountering not one but eight different guards, each of them trying to restrain Leaf. The first was won over with an explanation that she was her brother's cheerleader, the fifth was shoved aside in impatience, Sheldon was called out to blast the seventh with water, but the last one...

"You will let me go and support my brother," Leaf hissed, hanging limply from her captor's arms, "or I will...I will channel your spirit!"

"She's done it before," Red added, hoping to look scared enough. "She's crazy!"

The guard immediately let her go. "I'm sorry," he said, the terror almost comical. "I just...I didn't know..." he stopped, suddenly thinking. "Hey...isn't a medium incapable of channeling someone who is still alive...?"

Leaf tried to look intimidating, which should have been a clue that she had no idea what she was doing. "Wanna find out?"

"I am kind of curious."

And just like that, her cover had been blown. She had no idea how to talk to dead people on purpose, which left just one option. "Run."

They did, leaving the guard to take a note that he needed a pay raise.

After the guards, they had to deal with Victory Road itself. The siblings agreed that the name fit in more than one way. It wasn't just a place that gave League challengers the hope of victory, but a winding mountain filled with ladders and boulders that made navigating it a victory all by itself.

"We should have had a legendary by now," Red grumbled. "Why couldn't we get Moltres to just fly us to the building?"

"Because we'd be cheating," Leaf pointed out.

"We've cheated for the entire journey so far. I don't see why we should stop now."

"But imagine what would happen if we showed up riding a Moltres. People would freak!" She threw her arms up in an attempt to give visual aid to her statement. "No one would want to cross you. The Elite Four would surrender the moment you showed up. Blue would be completely annihilated."

"I still fail to see a downside."

Leaf dropped her arms. "Yeah, I lost track of the negatives myself."

"So can we look for Moltres?" Red sounded too excited about the possibility.

"I wanted to look for an exit."

"We look for the exit and hope for Moltres along the way! Come on, Leaf, let's go!"

He had a rival to crush, after all.


	26. Almost There

**In which Red and Leaf want capes.**

They eventually made it to the Pokémon League building, not finding Moltres at all. They did find an extra maze made out of unnecessary pillars, which triggered Red's rage.

"When I'm Champion," he said, unaware that the title wouldn't just get handed down in this universe, "I'm going to have this place destroyed and replaced with something easier. Like a building that just takes you from Point A to Point B."

"Approved," Leaf grumbled, as Sheldon attempted to push the pillar down to create a domino effect like on TV.

But once they figured out how to get through, which did include some tight squeezes between pillars, things became slightly easier as they reached the biggest Pokémon Center they'd ever seen. After healing and stocking up with as many Revives and Full Restores as he could afford (Leaf stubbornly refused to pay for more than ten of each, because of her trampoline fund) Red stepped into the first room.

The woman inside was pretty, he supposed. He wasn't really into girls yet, preferring to play with his Pokémon than dedicate any time to romance. Still, even he had to admit that she was very pleasant-looking.

Especially when she held a Pokeball in her hand, as if she was threatening the children.

"Welcome to the Pokémon League," she said, and even her voice was pleasant. "I am Lorelei of the Elite Four, the Kanto region's Ice-type master. Your Pokémon won't stand a chance when frozen solid. Are you prepared?"

"Uh…" Red smiled nervously. "Probably?"

"Good enough," said Lorelei, and sent out a Lapras.

Red decided that if she was using one, he might as well do the same. Putting aside Espeon for the moment, he chose a different ball. "Let's go, Lapras!"

He hadn't lost yet, after all. He had confidence that he was going to die an undefeated Champion, and that it was Lorelei's Pokémon that didn't stand a chance.

He was right, for the most part.

* * *

The battle was much harder than Red had anticipated, but eventually, his Lapras defeated Lorelei's. Lorelei decided not to send in another Pokémon, saying something about not caring what the Champion thought, the kid deserved to be rewarded for shutting down Team Rocket before the Elites were called in. They didn't really pay attention, and moved on to the next room.

They remembered when Brock removed his shirt for the battle, though they wished he hadn't. Bruno, the second member of the Elite Four, had no shirt in the first place.

"Do they let people do that?" Leaf asked, more exasperated than anything, as Red looked everywhere but his opponent.

"For a Fighting-type specialist," Bruno said, knowing exactly what she was talking about, "these muscles are all the shirt I need."

"Do not flex," Red warned. "There are children present."

Leaf groaned and sank to the floor, her hands over her eyes. "Make it fast, Red," she told him, and Red forced himself to look at the man blocking the door.

"Fighting-type, you say?" This would be quick after all. "Ok. Send out your first Pokémon, and we'll have our battle."

"You sound like you have a good counter to Fighting-types," Bruno pointed out.

"I have an Espeon," Red admitted.

"Then let's try something different." Bruno chose a Pokémon, and from the look on his face, it wouldn't be Fighting-type at all. "Let's go, Onix!"

Yep. Not Fighting-type at all. "You call yourself a type specialist? That's going against everything your challengers prepared for!"

"It's not even a Steelix," Leaf added.

"I could use my full team against you," Bruno pointed out, and Red immediately turned his thinking around.

"I had no idea you were giving me the same treatment Lorelei did," he admitted. "I'll take the Onix. Let's go, Ralph!"

* * *

After the complete disappointment that resulted from the second battle in Red's Elite Four challenge, they started to think it would be easier. They didn't know who his next two opponents were, but it wasn't hard to imagine that it would be more of the same.

The old woman that they found in the third room was not what they were expecting at all.

"I am Agatha," she said, the tone of her voice telling them all they needed to know about her tolerance for stupid stunts. "And I know who you are. You're the boy that chased Samuel Oak's grandson across the region."

"No one chased anyone," Red insisted, then he stopped. "Wait. You know Professor Oak?"

"We were like you and Blue, when we were young. Friends that became rivals, each trying to be the best Pokémon trainer. I won, of course." She frowned, lost in old memories. "We drifted apart when he decided to be a professor. We only speak when he sends new Pokedex carriers out into the world. Now he sends both of you out on an adventure, in the same year, probably just to annoy me."

"Probably," Leaf agreed. "Both of them are pretty annoying."

Red thumped her on the back of the head. She laughed it off. Agatha smiled despite her best efforts.

"Lance won't mind having two battles back to back," she decided. "One Pokémon each, boy. Does that sound like a deal?"

"The best kind of deal," Red told her, deciding not to mention that he'd received the same deal from the two before her. "I want my picture in the Hall of Fame, right there with yours and the professor's!"

"You might as well be _my_ grandson, with that kind of determination." Agatha selected her Pokemon carefully. "I hope you can make the right choice when battling this!"

She threw the ball, and out popped a Gengar. Red paused to consider which would be best to play type advantage with, and selected Golduck.

And Agatha decided that she wanted to see where this rivalry ended, especially when Gengar was left unable to continue the fight.

* * *

The end of the Elite Four challenge was a man with spiky hair who had apparently decided that capes were still stylish. Since this was something that Red and Leaf agreed on, both of them being big costume kids, they immediately got distracted by the swishing of said cape, even as he was giving his opening monologue.

"Are you even listening?" he finally asked, and both of them jumped, startled out of cape-related daydreams.

"Huh?" the siblings said together, looking at his face for the first time.

Of course they weren't. No one ever listened when they were so close to the Champion. "Ok, here's the short version. The name's Lance, I use Dragon-type Pokémon, and I'm the last guard for the Champion. Prepare yourselves, blah blah blah, I don't have all night. Dragonite, let's roll."

The Dragonite wasn't even in a ball, it was just sitting in the corner, playing with a paper airplane. It didn't even look up at its trainer's call.

"Dragonite," Lance said, and this time, Dragonite did look up. "I meant you. Let's go."

 **"You could have just thrown a soft object at me,"** Dragonite pointed out.

Lance, unable to understand Pokémon, wondered of this meant he was not prepared to be the Champion. Then he pushed the thought away as Red called Lapras once again, hoping that an Ice-type would be enough.


	27. Becoming a Master

**Well, we lost most of our notes weeks ago, and with them we lost the ability to remember what Pokémon our heroes had. Good thing it's the end.**

With Lance and the rest of the Elite Four behind him, Red could face the Champion, claim the title, and go home. Things would go back to normal, or as normal as it could when Leaf was aware of her true potential and Red had gotten a taste of how fun being a warlock could be. Red would go back to his uneventful life of homework and video games, Leaf would do seances in the basement, and their Pokémon would have to settle for having battles with random trainers instead of actually having a goal set.

Leaf's, at least, wouldn't be doing that much less than they'd been doing all journey, but Red's would have to deal with several other problems.

"What do we do after this?" he asked, trying very hard not to have an existential crisis at eleven years old. "Our old life was boring, and we have years before we can get real jobs. What do we _do_?"

"We can take over the Viridian Gym," Leaf suggested. "They let kids be Gym Leaders, and there's a sibling team in Hoenn. It won't be illegal, and we are two of the three strongest trainers in the area."

"But we live in Pallet Town."

"Like an hour's walk would be a problem for either of us."

She was probably right. Still, Red stared at the doors to the Champion's room in something just short of terror, wondering if he'd get a second chance with the Elite Four going easy on him.

Then Leaf opened the door for him, pushed him inside, and closed it behind her.

The Champion wasn't looking. He was taking pictures, cackling, and sending them to everyone he knew. When he heard the alerts from both Red and Leaf receiving those pictures, he finally turned around, giving them a good look at his face.

The smug grin never faded. "What's up, losers?"

"Blue?" Red figured that Blue had beaten him to the Hall of Fame, but he'd never expected to see that his rival had actually taken the Champion's position. "What are you doing here?"

"My job," Blue said simply. "Apparently, the old Champion heard we were coming, handed Lance the title, and bailed."

"So I'm already an honorary Champion?"

"Nope. Once I beat Lance, I came here and saw that the Elite Four had no official Champion, so I told Lance to let me have it. He did."

He finished that statement by taking a picture of the siblings without permission, or a warning. This just made Red angry. "What was that for?"

"A before picture," Blue answered. He put his phone away and chose his first Pokémon. "The after picture will be taken after your defeat. Red! Let's settle this once and for all!"

He chose Pidgeot. Red, taking only a moment to think it over, chose Espeon.

* * *

Maybe it was because he actually used Full Restores, but Blue was a much bigger threat to Red's team as a Champion than he'd ever been as a rival.

Espeon defeated the Pidgeot, though hadn't lasted much longer when Blue sent out Rhydon. Ralph defeated Rhydon, as Red had thought he would, and Red had switched Pokémon when Blue sent out Alakazam, leaving Dugtrio to do the dirty work. The other matches in this battle had pretty even results, and Red risked one Pokémon to revive another.

Now, it was down to Golduck and Charizard, leaving Red to just hope he could pull a victory through type advantage alone.

Golduck, for his part, was horrified. He'd faced Charizard before, but never when Charizard was officially registered in the Hall of Fame. Golduck was very aware that losing this match could cost Red a lot more than just the Champion status – Blue would never let him live down the time he lost to him, no matter how often Red beat him outside of the League building.

 **"Can't you just pretend to go down completely when my next attack hits you?"** Golduck suggested, knowing it was a stupid thing to ask.

 **"Not happening,"** Charizard said anyway. **"You know how often I've lost to you without faking. This is more important to my trainer than anything."**

 **"He has family connections! Can't he just be an assistant at the professor's lab?"**

 **"You know Blue can't focus on science."**

Golduck acknowledged the fact with a tilt of his head. This was the alert to the rival trainers that their Pokémon were having a conversation that was not the Pokémon equivalent of trash talking, and neither of them was pleased with it.

"Save it until after the battle!" Blue snapped, and Charizard's attention jumped right back to the battle. "Let's just do this already! Aerial Ace!"

The attack came fast, knocking Golduck on his back. Blue laughed, victory assured…and then two words told him that Golduck wasn't as out as he'd thought.

"Water Pulse," Red commanded, his voice surprisingly quiet.

 **"Oh, crap,"** Charizard managed, before it was hit turn to get knocked on his back.

Charizard was then declared unable to battle, leaving Red the winner. Blue's 15 minutes of fame were over.

* * *

Blue was outraged, for multiple reasons. But, like even Giovanni had before, he accepted defeat.

"Even though I hate this," he said through his teeth, "I can't deny it. You're the new Pokémon League Champion. You're not a bad trainer, even though you only won through luck…"

"Congratulations, Red!"

Red and Leaf turned, surprised at the voice. Professor Oak came walking into the room, Blue's Raticate behind him. The professor smiled. "You've defeated the Pokémon League Champion. You're truly a remarkable trainer."

"Gramps!" Blue whined, sounding absolutely pathetic. "What are you congratulating him for? I'm the one who actually HAS the title!"

"You did not defeat a Champion," Oak pointed out. "You demanded that Lance hand the title over when you defeated him."

"But he DID hand it over!"

"And now you've lost your claim to it by someone who has defeated a League Champion."

"But if MY title isn't legit, then Red's shouldn't be, either! He cheated! He only fought one Pokémon for each Elite Four member!"

"And he also chased Team Rocket from Kanto." Blue was silent. Oak nodded. "You are not a bad trainer in terms of skill. But you don't respect your Pokémon enough. You forget that they don't just battle to get stronger, but to make new friends – and that is what people are supposed to learn from taking the Pokedex."

"Maybe the new friends thing will be easier on future Pokedex carriers," Red suggested, unaware that around that point in time, two kids from Hoenn were saving the world themselves and making quite a few friends on the way.

"Perhaps." Oak turned back to Blue. "Well? A Champion's job is to lead the winners to the Hall of Fame. Did Lance show you how that worked?"

"No."

"Then I'll show you both."

* * *

Professor Oak led the boys into a room with a floor so shiny they could see their reflections, and pretended he didn't notice that the two got into a whispered argument as they followed.

"I beat the Elite Four first," Blue pointed out. "That means I should get my picture up there first."

"But you didn't beat the Champion, which means your title doesn't count."

"Can't you just let me beat you ONCE?" Blue's anger seemed to surprise even himself, and the professor actually stopped walking for a moment.

Everything clicked in Red's brain at once. Blue's recent treatment of him was nothing more than jealousy. "What? You were jealous of ME?"

"You were the first one to get a perfect test score, the first one to score the winning point when we played sports, the first one to get a rumor about a girl liking you…"

"What girl?" Red asked, surprised more by that last one than he'd expected.

"Yumi, but that's not the point."

"Which one's Yumi?"

"That's not my point! My point is that everyone likes you more than they like me. Teachers, Pokémon, girls, even my own grandfather!"

"I don't think your grandpa likes me more."

"Then why did I ask him to be a Pokedex carrier, to finally beat you at something, only to have him give you the same device at the same time? Then I picked the Pokémon with a type advantage over yours, and you beat me anyway!"

"That had nothing to do with the professor OR me. That was just luck."

"Then why haven't I defeated you in battle even once?"

Red was quiet. "You can go first," he decided as the professor reached the Pokémon healing machine. "You did beat me in collecting the badges and beating the Elite Four."

"And you'll let me win the next battle?"

"No. But I won't throw a tantrum if you do."

Blue looked at him for a little bit longer than usual. "We'll see," he said, back to his usual attitude. Then he looked back at the professor. "Is it ready yet?"

"It's been ready since before you arrived." Professor Oak gestured to the machine. "Let's get started."

Red stayed silent as Blue was registered in the Hall of Fame. Blue did not give him the same treatment.

"What do we do now, Red?"

"Well," Red said carefully, "Viridian City does need a new Gym Leader. Giovanni's evil can't affect Kanto anymore, which means the cops are free to arrest him without dealing with whatever he threatened them with. We could have a contest to see who takes it over." He laughed. "I still doubt you'd win, though."

"Oh, yeah?" Blue laughed with him, Pokeball in hand. "I'm already starting! Smell you later!"

Red was out of there as soon as the professor let him go. He was fine with Blue being the new Gym Leader, but that didn't mean he didn't want to try for the job himself.


	28. Epilogue

**We thought Kanto would be fun. We were right, but it wasn't as fun as we'd hoped. We'll just blame computer issues and leave it there.**

 **Sun and Moon are scheduled, but we want to go to at least one other fandom first. And, yes, this Diana will be the protagonist, even though we chose her name for the Diana-saur joke and not the moon goddess.**

 _Four years later…_

"Does a Charmander's tail fire going out kill it? Or does the tail fire going out just mean it's dead?"

Leaf was really starting to regret this. Diana was still more knowledge-driven than other kids her age, and when Leaf agreed to take over babysitting duties from Daisy, she'd expected discussions on things that Professor Oak could explain and being able to distract her with dolls.

What she got was a girl who wanted to question everything the Pokedex ever said, and even do some mad science to test those theories. Leaf had kept her away from the dangerous equipment so far, but there's only so much you can do when a kid had her mom's pet Pokémon, access to the town border, and no sense of self-preservation. Luckily, Diana still enjoyed dolls and movies and games as much as her classmates, so distractions were possible.

"We really shouldn't test that," Leaf said, forcing herself to remain calm while she was screaming on the inside. "You don't want to kill an innocent Charmander, and even if it doesn't kill it, it might still get hurt. You don't want that, do you?"

"No," Diana admitted, "but shouldn't the Pokedex be as right as possible? It shouldn't tell people stuff like that if the writers don't know! It's supposed to be a research thing, not a myth thing!"

Leaf facepalmed. "Maybe some myths are true. Did you ever think of that?"

"Then do people in Sinnoh know for a fact that Arceus made the world? Were they THERE? Because my teacher said that the world is even older than Professor Oak, and he's pretty old. And where's the proof that a Phantump is a dead kid in a tree stump? That sounds like something my cousin would come up with!"

"Tell you what," Leaf interrupted, getting the child to silence immediately. "I'll put on a movie. Beauty and the Beast ok with you?"

"Sure," said Diana, who, at only six years old, found Belle more relatable than any other Disney princess because she, too, would fall in love with anybody who gave her a library as a gift. "And you can tell me how you do that trick where your brain turns into someone else's!"

"That's not something I can explain, and I need a graveyard to do it. That's why I'm packing up for a trip to Johto."

"And they'll tell you how to do it without a graveyard?"

"Probably. Ecruteak City has a lot of medium work, they'll probably accept apprentices."

"And then you can teach me?"

"How about I teach you how to cast witch spells instead?" Diana looked skeptical. Leaf smiled innocently. "That's how my brother and I kicked Team Rocket out of Kanto, you know."

Diana grinned. "Then I'll be a witch! Is there a spell to turn people into talking teapots if they make me mad?"

* * *

Blue had ended up winning the contest to be the next Viridian City Gym Leader, though from what he'd heard, Giovanni had not been caught. But, since he still hadn't returned and his son hadn't come to demand the Gym as his inheritance, Blue's claim was still legal. He even kept the Earth Badge despite using multiple types, which Red said was out of laziness but was, in Blue's opinion, just avoiding unnecessary paperwork.

Today's challenger was a strange one. She spoke like she grew up in Kanto, but most of her Pokémon were associated with the Johto region – Sudowoodo, Granbull, Jumpluff, and of course the Feraligatr she saved for last. Even stranger was the boy who followed her on this journey, and the Meganium that followed him. You didn't see many Grass-types chewing on their trainers' hats.

"Are you sure you're a Gym Leader?" the girl asked. "Don't you have to declare a type specialty?"

"Only if you have one." Blue laughed again, causing both the challenger and her Feraligatr to make the same annoyed face. Clearly, they'd been partners for a while.

That was fine. His Exeggutor had been his partner for a while, too, and they had the type advantage. "Back to battle, then! Use Leaf Storm!"

"Ice Fang!" the challenger ordered.

So maybe they each had an advantage, and the extra boost from the Ice-powering item she'd handed to her Feraligatr won her the Earth Badge, Feraligatr barely making it.

Still, as the challenger and her friend left, Blue was forced to remember the time he spent with Red as they were attempting to rescue Leaf from the Marowak ghost. He was happy that their friendship was fixed, but he wondered if the sight of two kids traveling together meant that another Team Rocket incident was coming.

He'd put it together later. Right now, listening to them talk about climbing Mt. Silver as the girl prepared to face the Champion, he decided it was probably best to call Red and warn him.

* * *

While his sister prepared for her trip to Johto, Red was on his own trip. He'd made it his goal to climb to the top of Mt. Silver, battling everything that got in his way, and he found that the wild Pokémon all ran away when they saw him coming. This had been going on for days.

"Where's the challenge in this?" he complained, and beside him, Ralph tilted his head.

 **"I don't see what you're complaining about. You have enough problems."**

Red might not have understood the words, but he and Ralph had been partners for four years, and that could give you an understanding of the other that didn't need words. "Just because you're enjoying retirement doesn't mean that we all are."

 **"I'm not enjoying anything,"** Ralph pointed out. **"You dragged me out here so you can have someone to talk to, not because I'd enjoy walking up a mountain with no battles or games to entertain myself."**

"Shut up," Red groaned, getting an annoyed look from his Venusaur. "I didn't _know_ that wild Pokémon would be afraid of us. I thought they were really strong up here."

 **"We're just stronger than they are."**

"I guess we're stronger than they are," Red finished.

 **"Stop stealing my words!"**

The sound of Red's phone startled them both, and Red answered quickly, trying not to let the other person know that he'd been caught off guard. Blue had only ever beaten him in the competition to be the Viridian Gym Leader, and he didn't want to end up in a situation where his friend would catch up to him and beat him again. "What do you want, Blue?"

"So rude," Blue said, the sound of his voice annoying Red again. "I have information for you."

"Well? Spit it out?"

"Not until you learn to respect your elders."

"I'm only a month younger than you."

"Still counts."

"No, it doesn't! Come on, I thought we were friends again!"

"So did I, but you started this chain of rudeness here. I'm just withholding information."

Red personally believed that withholding relevant information was much worse than using the wrong greeting when answering a phone call, but he knew how annoying Blue could be if they let this continue for too long. "I'm sorry," he said instead, pretending that he was in the wrong.

"That's better. Anyway, what I was going to tell you is that I took on a really interesting challenger today."

"So? That's your job."

Blue continued as if Red had never interrupted. "The kid spoke with a Kanto accent, but she had a Feraligatr. A Johto starter!"

"So maybe she went through another region first. People travel all the time. That's why there's so many bilingual people in the world."

"Yeah, probably. But there's more. She traveled with a boy and a Meganium that tried to eat his hat."

"Was the boy or the Meganium wearing a hat?"

"My point," Blue finished, sounding irritated, "is that she specified that I use my full strength against her, despite her only having seven badges. I still lost. They're on the lookout for strong trainers, and I told Gramps you were heading up to Mt. Silver. They're coming for you, Red."

It did seem that way. "Bring it on."

He closed the phone over Blue's laughter, and turned around just in time to see the children and Pokémon in question. The Meganium was not wearing a hat, but instead prepared to jump in front of the trainer protectively, mouth open like it was preparing to bite something.

The boy put a hand on its neck. "Down, girl," he commanded, and the Meganium's mouth closed, though she couldn't hide her disappointment.

Red didn't say a word through any of this. He was still trying to wrap his brain around the idea that a Meganium would attempt to bite anyone. The other boy decided to step in.

"So…um…I'm Ethan. My human friend is Kris, and this lunatic," he patted his Meganium again, "is Avery. Can we battle you?"

"And give us your autograph to prove we did?" Kris asked, and then she immediately covered her mouth, embarrassed at how much like a fangirl she sounded.

Red remained silent, this time in amusement. Ethan coughed nervously to fill the silence. "We stopped Team Rocket, too," he offered. "Our friend Lyra's still in Johto, working on puzzles and art. We want proof we met you."

Red looked down at Ralph. Ralph nodded.

 **"It's about time I had some fun on this trip."**

"Pick three Pokémon each," Red told them. "We're doing this Hoenn style – double battle against my six. I'll give you the autograph, but you're going to have to tell me about when you went up against Team Rocket."

"What do you want to know?" Ethan asked.

"What didn't make it on the news?" Kris added.

"A lot, I'm guessing, but let's start with if you saw a pathetic excuse for a villain song."

"No."

"Then I'll have to show you that video." Red waved Ralph forward, and then chose a Pokémon that he'd borrowed for his mountain trip. "Let's go, Sheldon!"

Ethan pointed directly ahead. "We've got this, Avery!"

Kris seemed to have a better idea than using her Water-type when a Venusaur was present, but was torn about something else. She finally decided on a Granbull.

Red knew that these kids were going to be the best battle of his life. No matter who won, he knew that the fate of the world was in good hands.

Much better hands than his and Leaf's, at least.


End file.
